RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:this thread is so far off the rails, if people are suggesting that parents pay for child care spots they ARE NOT USING. And if they don't do that, then they are not "responsible parents." It's like something Lucy Huber would post on twitter.


Yup even stay at home moms should have before and after care. What if their spouse or parent in suddenly ill. You most be prepared for anything ...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!


+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.


Well said


And that’s on a regular school day, which is, at most, 8 months of the year. There are snow days, delayed openings, teacher work days, sick days, long weekends, spring/winter break and summer. I don’t believe that most WFH parents without childcare are taking leave on those days. I suspect that they are doing the bare minimum at their jobs on those days, and that is the real reason why they are now panicking.


Ugh. I’ll bite on this. When you wfh on a snow day, you can set your school aged child up with a good video, hot cocoa and then go work for a solid chunk of time.
When you work in person on a snow day or delayed opening, either the government is code red which you get paid for if you can’t telework or you call into work and use leave and drink hot cocoa too.


Either way, less work is done with in person office parents than with ones who have telework.



My point is that these days (snow days, sick days, teacher work days, delayed opening and breaks) are not really outliers and equate to about 1/3 of the year. Not having childcare when you are collecting a FT WFH salary, and have ES-age children and no regular childcare, means that you are stealing from your employer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:this thread is so far off the rails, if people are suggesting that parents pay for child care spots they ARE NOT USING. And if they don't do that, then they are not "responsible parents." It's like something Lucy Huber would post on twitter.


Yup even stay at home moms should have before and after care. What if their spouse or parent in suddenly ill. You most be prepared for anything ...


This is getting off topic but I do know a SAHM who sent her kid to aftercare. She said she quit it because all her kid did there was ipads.
Anonymous
I’ve realized two things this weekend.

1.The forced 5 day RTO is evoking the same feelings of utter helplessness that I had during COVID when my whole life was upended. My kids were kinder and daycare when COVID hit and they are both in elementary now. It feels like the same total lack of control and helplessness. We’ve paid for childcare every step of the way. But the loss of all flexibility is a complete punch in the gut.

2. This is what it feels like to have your life turned into an optic. There is no other reason this is happening. We are just optics.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?


+1

I didn’t get paid parental leave. I still remember begin so stressed about having to take leave for high risk pregnancy appointments while also saving my leave plus saving to take unpaid leave. I was much more junior in my career so I wasn’t making a ton and it was financially stressful trying to enjoy that time off after my babies were born.

And then when they started daycare and got sick I had barely any leave. DH and I were constantly comparing leave balances (he helped a lot too, so we were both dealing with low balances). Of course it also meant our sick leave went toward taking care of the kids and I’d drive into the office sick and just try not to get too close to anyone.

That was such a stressful time. I am glad fed employees now get paid parental leave. We should be making progress, the whole point is that we try to make the world better for the people after us just like the people before did for us.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:this thread is so far off the rails, if people are suggesting that parents pay for child care spots they ARE NOT USING. And if they don't do that, then they are not "responsible parents." It's like something Lucy Huber would post on twitter.


Yup even stay at home moms should have before and after care. What if their spouse or parent in suddenly ill. You most be prepared for anything ...


This is getting off topic but I do know a SAHM who sent her kid to aftercare. She said she quit it because all her kid did there was ipads.


Maybe she had good reason to. Health issues, family care, volunteering.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?


Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.


Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!


+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.


Well said


And that’s on a regular school day, which is, at most, 8 months of the year. There are snow days, delayed openings, teacher work days, sick days, long weekends, spring/winter break and summer. I don’t believe that most WFH parents without childcare are taking leave on those days. I suspect that they are doing the bare minimum at their jobs on those days, and that is the real reason why they are now panicking.


Ugh. I’ll bite on this. When you wfh on a snow day, you can set your school aged child up with a good video, hot cocoa and then go work for a solid chunk of time.
When you work in person on a snow day or delayed opening, either the government is code red which you get paid for if you can’t telework or you call into work and use leave and drink hot cocoa too.


Either way, less work is done with in person office parents than with ones who have telework.



My point is that these days (snow days, sick days, teacher work days, delayed opening and breaks) are not really outliers and equate to about 1/3 of the year. Not having childcare when you are collecting a FT WFH salary, and have ES-age children and no regular childcare, means that you are stealing from your employer.


Wow Elon must be thrilled to see how easily you fall into line. Ironically he brings his kid to work with him. Guess He’s stealing from us all.
Anonymous
The public school after school extended day programs should send out messages letting parents know if there are spots. And if there aren't, the social workers at the schools should help by compiling a list of the after school programs that pick up from that school. We all need to help each other out right now.
Anonymous
Lest you think this is all about federal workers, I have a friend with three children who does not pay for childcare for any of them, including the toddler, because she works from home AND SHE'S NOT A GOVERMENT WORKER. No day care, no extended day, no summer camps, no day off camps. She thinks all of those are "a rip off." I have no idea how she gets away with all of this at work. How does she get anything done? It would never fly in my office, which is a government office. I get so tired of hearing people complain about the government workers not having childcare when it's far from unique to government.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Lest you think this is all about federal workers, I have a friend with three children who does not pay for childcare for any of them, including the toddler, because she works from home AND SHE'S NOT A GOVERMENT WORKER. No day care, no extended day, no summer camps, no day off camps. She thinks all of those are "a rip off." I have no idea how she gets away with all of this at work. How does she get anything done? It would never fly in my office, which is a government office. I get so tired of hearing people complain about the government workers not having childcare when it's far from unique to government.


Wow. If you don’t understand the difference between what a private company can and can’t do and what the federal government should and shouldn’t do please get off my payroll.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lest you think this is all about federal workers, I have a friend with three children who does not pay for childcare for any of them, including the toddler, because she works from home AND SHE'S NOT A GOVERMENT WORKER. No day care, no extended day, no summer camps, no day off camps. She thinks all of those are "a rip off." I have no idea how she gets away with all of this at work. How does she get anything done? It would never fly in my office, which is a government office. I get so tired of hearing people complain about the government workers not having childcare when it's far from unique to government.


Wow. If you don’t understand the difference between what a private company can and can’t do and what the federal government should and shouldn’t do please get off my payroll.


lol cute. What do you do and what is your company name?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!


+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.


Well said


And that’s on a regular school day, which is, at most, 8 months of the year. There are snow days, delayed openings, teacher work days, sick days, long weekends, spring/winter break and summer. I don’t believe that most WFH parents without childcare are taking leave on those days. I suspect that they are doing the bare minimum at their jobs on those days, and that is the real reason why they are now panicking.


Ugh. I’ll bite on this. When you wfh on a snow day, you can set your school aged child up with a good video, hot cocoa and then go work for a solid chunk of time.
When you work in person on a snow day or delayed opening, either the government is code red which you get paid for if you can’t telework or you call into work and use leave and drink hot cocoa too.


Either way, less work is done with in person office parents than with ones who have telework.



My point is that these days (snow days, sick days, teacher work days, delayed opening and breaks) are not really outliers and equate to about 1/3 of the year. Not having childcare when you are collecting a FT WFH salary, and have ES-age children and no regular childcare, means that you are stealing from your employer.


PP. I personally don’t care if someone is stealing from their employer because most employers are pretty sh*tty and the US Govt wastes way more money on propping up Boeing and huge farmers than on time theft.

But to reiterate my earlier point - WFH folks, you’ve had it pretty good until now. I hope you enjoyed it, and I don’t begrudge you the money and time you saved the last few years. The rest of us have been living in an RTO world and paying for FT childcare during this time. Now it’s your turn to figure it out.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!


+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.


Well said


And that’s on a regular school day, which is, at most, 8 months of the year. There are snow days, delayed openings, teacher work days, sick days, long weekends, spring/winter break and summer. I don’t believe that most WFH parents without childcare are taking leave on those days. I suspect that they are doing the bare minimum at their jobs on those days, and that is the real reason why they are now panicking.


Ugh. I’ll bite on this. When you wfh on a snow day, you can set your school aged child up with a good video, hot cocoa and then go work for a solid chunk of time.
When you work in person on a snow day or delayed opening, either the government is code red which you get paid for if you can’t telework or you call into work and use leave and drink hot cocoa too.


Either way, less work is done with in person office parents than with ones who have telework.



My point is that these days (snow days, sick days, teacher work days, delayed opening and breaks) are not really outliers and equate to about 1/3 of the year. Not having childcare when you are collecting a FT WFH salary, and have ES-age children and no regular childcare, means that you are stealing from your employer.


Wow Elon must be thrilled to see how easily you fall into line. Ironically he brings his kid to work with him. Guess He’s stealing from us all.



I guess I bring my kid in to work on days I can’t find childcare since that’s what Leon does. There are federal rules regarding what other employees do, and if that isn’t prosecuted then they can’t prosecute you.

At the very least, he’s extraordinarily tone deaf.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?


Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.


Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.


They don't care about these problems. That is what needs to be understood. The regime is not concerned that upper middle class white women are going to be inconvenienced. I only say that to emphasize that this isn't an election season in which the Republicans are trying to avoid offending an important voting block--those days are over, they got what they want and are now doing what they want.
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