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Mom wants private, Dad does not.........Any advice?
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Anonymous
| We are applying for privates for next year-1st grade, which will be a tough acceptance. Husband is not on board, does not want to spend the money, though he readily admits that our DC is probably not going to do well in our public school due to behavior considerations-very bright child, but not always well behaved or compliant with what teacher wants them to do in class. Our public school is the best in Fairfax county, but has 30+ students in 1st grade with one teacher and impending budget cuts. I feel is it worth it particularly to give him a good start and avoid problems down the line and am trying my best to get DC in, but it is creating a lot of tension between husband and myself. Anyone have any ideas? DC likely won't get in anyway, but I wanted to try and have options at least. |
Anonymous
| This is a common scenario ... I would recommend trying to go forward with admission process with as much peace as possible with agreement to thoroughly discuss and decide together what to do IF child is admitted. In other words, put off the serious discussion/negotiation as long as possible to give spouse time to get used to the idea. In the meantime, think about what you (the one who wants it a bit more) would be willing to give up or adjust in the family budget to accomodate the additional expense a bit (give up gym membership, defer new car, or whatever ... ???) Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Which private school? Potomac? Not worth it. |
Anonymous
| Potomac is amazing ... but the question doesn't ask for advice on any particular school. |
Anonymous
|
Not there yet, but nearly - my son is considered "smart and charming but completely resistant" by his preschool teachers (they have been doing their job for 20+ years and have no clue what to do with him!)! It's driving us crazy...
It depends on whether you find an appropriate school for your child's idiosyncrasies - I am highly suspicious of the "more expensive means better" generality. If one school in particular seems to be a really good fit (and teachers there seem game for guiding a child like yours), then I would definitely try to budget for it! Your DH would probably be more amenable if you could give a more factual description of one particular school and explain why your son would thrive there. Good luck! |
Anonymous
|
OP here-interested to know why Potomac is not worth it-we applied for K and did not get in, so I harbor no hopes for 1st grade, but we are reapplying and that is one of the schools. They expect the kids to be very well behaved and sort of "in the box" there, so doubt if it would be a good environment for DC anyhow.
Thought a progressive school or Nysmith for the Gifted might be worthwhile for DC temperment-just thinking for a few years at least until public GT starts as a compromise to DH. |
Anonymous
| Another parent to a K aged son who is very bright and has his own way of doing things. I like the advice of a PP who said not to worry about this until you actually are admitted. Then perhaps you and your husband can set up a time to observe in the classrooms of the schools your son got into. Is your son currently in K in a public school? |
Anonymous
The best way to win your husband over is to take him on the school tours. It's hard not to be impressed when you walk into a private school, observe directly the very small student to teacher ratio and the amazing resources available. For us, once DH saw the private school campus (which stands in the shadow the Cathedral), he was sold. My guess is your DH will too. One issue, though - if your focus is on the top half-dozen or so schools, they are notorious for weeding out the non-compliant kids. If you ever wondered what that student play date is all about, wonder no more. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| Flip on it -- that way your husband wont resent you forever. Are you different religions by chance? My husband is notoriously cheap and a different religion than me. I eventually won out -- but it was quite a fight. |
Anonymous
|
Husband has been on all of the school tours, and has not be swayed by the fantastic facilities-to say he is stubborn is an understatement! DC is currently in a private full day Kindergarten in a school that ends this year.
What do they do at the playdates that "weeds out" the noncompliant kids? From what we understood at least at 2 of the schools, he is going to be shadowing students for a day. They supposedly don't do anything special-no overt "testing" of applicants. Supposedly, some of the schools actually test the applicants with worksheets and stuff (like Potomac). |
Anonymous
I think the "not worth it" poster is probably a disgruntled mom who's child didn't get in, or someone who lives in DC and thinks Northern VA is the sticks. Potomac is an amazing school, recognized nationally for it's excellence. The head of school is the guy who started TJ, which has been ranked by US News as the best public high school in the country. That said, I do think you are right in that it's a little more "in the box" as compared to some other schools, like say GDS. A little more preppy with a strong focus on a balance between academics, athletics, arts, leadership, etc. |
Anonymous
| I say have your child go to public school. If he doesn't do well or you and DH aren't happy with the school, then go to private or another public school. |
Anonymous
| Agree with the PP that the more "traditional" schools work hard at weeding out the "non-compliant" kids (whether before or after admission). Not so strange, when you think about it -- people are paying a lot of $$ so their kid's teacher isn't distracted from teaching by having to deal with "non-compliant" kids. You can get that for free in public schools. |
Anonymous
| Like previous commenters, try to agree to go ahead and apply to private schools (keeping all options on the table) and kicking the final decision down the road. At the end of the day, depending on outcome, a fight may be mute if he does not get in to any school or his top choices. Of course, if he does get in, you will have to make a decision ... and it may be a little easier then given the interval time that has already transpired. |
Anonymous
|
OP,
Can't you just agree to apply and decide if he's accepted. |