Mom wants private, Dad does not.........Any advice?

[Anonymous]

"Husband has been on all of the school tours, and has not be swayed by the fantastic facilities-to say he is stubborn is an understatement!"

I don't get it - I wouldn't be "swayed" by fantastic facilities either. Yes, it is nice. But the fact is that facilities (assuming they are adequate, e.g. properly temperature controlled, not in horrible disrepair) have little to do with a younger child's happiness or ability to learn. What matters is whether they connect with the teacher and their peers and have fun with what they are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Husband has been on all of the school tours, and has not be swayed by the fantastic facilities-to say he is stubborn is an understatement!"

I don't get it - I wouldn't be "swayed" by fantastic facilities either. Yes, it is nice. But the fact is that facilities (assuming they are adequate, e.g. properly temperature controlled, not in horrible disrepair) have little to do with a younger child's happiness or ability to learn. What matters is whether they connect with the teacher and their peers and have fun with what they are doing.

Well, yes and no. Yes, I agree with your view of what matters. But I'm not sure I could ever be spending as much as we do (30K for each kid) on tuition if every day I dropped off the kids, it was to something that looked like every other elementary school. To be sure, most do. There are a small handful, with their magnificent campuses, that do not.

[Anonymous]

non-compliant?

such as?

[Anonymous]

OP,

I'm curious -- have you and your husband actually visited your local public school and seen how a 1st grade classroom is run? Will your school allow prospective parents to come and take some time to get a feel for the school climate? I was a teacher in Fairfax for many years, and I think a lot of the teachers there are very good and know how to deal with smart kids who question and talk back to the teacher.

Also, here is a list of average class sizes for Fairfax County elementary schools. Are you sure that your neighborhood school has 30+ kids in a class? The overall average seems to me to be 21 students grades 1 through 3. Am I missing something?

http://www.fcps.edu/Reporting/va_standards_quality/pdfs/ElmClassSizeAvg2009.pdf

[Anonymous]

OP here-yes, unfortunately our local public GT center has 30 kids in all 3 first grades this year-the existing parents are mad as hell about it, but nothing can be done in terms of getting an assistant, etc since it is a public school. I am just afraid my DC will be overwhelmed, as he is used to a small class environment with 2 teachers, and his current school thinks he will "get lost" in such a big class. I don't care how good a teacher is-30 is way too many for any one teacher!

But, you guys are right, all we can do is apply and see how things go. May be a moot point if not accepted. It seems like it is a common scenario that moms always want what's best for the kids, and all dads can think about is their wallet.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I agree that 30 is too many for one class of third graders. I may not understand, but given the info provided by the teacher at 15:09, it seems as if the non-GT classes might be smaller? If you live in McLean (which I'm guessing because I think it has the best public schools), then chances are that your child will be in class with other bright kids.

My kids are in private school, but we do revisit that decision from time to time. I do think that children can get an excellent education at many of the public schools around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-yes, unfortunately our local public GT center has 30 kids in all 3 first grades this year-the existing parents are mad as hell about it, but nothing can be done in terms of getting an assistant, etc since it is a public school. I am just afraid my DC will be overwhelmed, as he is used to a small class environment with 2 teachers, and his current school thinks he will "get lost" in such a big class. I don't care how good a teacher is-30 is way too many for any one teacher!

You said your school was one of the best in Fairfax County. I though the GT center didn't start until third grade?

[Anonymous]

GT does start in 3rd grade-DC has already tested in gifted range, so we are anticipating DC to qualify in 3rd grade for services. DC currently going into 1st.

I think I am probably biased towards private, not just because of small class size, but when you tour both and compare both, it is tough to find similarities-the physical plants are very different, plus the enrichments and overall attitudes are very different. I want my child to continue to love to learn, not just regurg information for a state mandated test. But husband went to public all the way through, so that's all he knows. I did both and far preferred private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I want my child to continue to love to learn, not just regurg information for a state mandated test. But husband went to public all the way through, so that's all he knows. I did both and far preferred private.

Well, I think you might be making a real leap, thinking that the public school your already-identified-as-gifted child may attend will only cause him to regurg information for the state mandated test. You might want to wait and see.

[Anonymous]

OP or anyone else who knows:

How much do the private schools that can exclude the badly behaved kids cost (ballpark figure) per year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP or anyone else who knows:

How much do the private schools that can exclude the badly behaved kids cost (ballpark figure) per year?

The Promised Land for most on DCUM - Mt. St. Alban atop of which sits Beauvoir - is over 26K per year even at the pre-K level. The Admissions Staff is either applauded or despised, depending on your perspective, for identifying so well, and then swiftly rejecting "non-compliant" kids.

[Anonymous]

And how do they do that through one, one hour playdate?

[Anonymous]

The teacher recommendation forms help with that.

[Anonymous]

I posted before about the number of bright kids if you are in McLean. If you read these boards regularly, you will see that most of the parents are posting about children who tested as gifted. And given the demographics of this area, many of the kids in public school have parents with graduate degrees and amazing careers. It is not a given that your child will not be challenged in the public school just because it is a public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-yes, unfortunately our local public GT center has 30 kids in all 3 first grades this year-the existing parents are mad as hell about it, but nothing can be done in terms of getting an assistant, etc since it is a public school. I am just afraid my DC will be overwhelmed, as he is used to a small class environment with 2 teachers, and his current school thinks he will "get lost" in such a big class. I don't care how good a teacher is-30 is way too many for any one teacher!

But, you guys are right, all we can do is apply and see how things go. May be a moot point if not accepted. It seems like it is a common scenario that moms always want what's best for the kids, and all dads can think about is their wallet.

Uh oh. Have you considered spending any of that potential tuition bankroll on some marriage counseling or therapy? That is one pretty rough generalization right there! Obviously you two are not on the same page, but are you even reading the same book?