Mom wants private, Dad does not.........Any advice?

[Anonymous]

In this area, there are gifted children all over the place, in both public and private. The difference in physical plant and curriculum between public and private, however, really are very different and affect the quality of a child's day and reaction to learning and being at school. But yes, a child in the area is very fortunate about schooling no matter where s/he attends. In some areas, the privates actually provide more diversity than public, believe it or not. The Langley and McLean areas, for example, have precious little diversity socioeconomically speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But, you guys are right, all we can do is apply and see how things go. May be a moot point if not accepted. It seems like it is a common scenario that moms always want what's best for the kids, and all dads can think about is their wallet.

NP here- Mom who wants to send DD to private next year and is currently immersed in discussion with DH over similar challenges, but we are more on same page. I think you are too quick to discount your DH's concerns. Balancing financial goals against private vs. public school environments is not a pass / fail test- if he makes his own evaluation of benefits and detriments and prefers public, I don't think that means all he cares about is his wallet.

The best way to win an argument is acknowledge the other person's point of view. Try coming at him from a different angle- let him know that you understand several of his points and acknowledge them- really show you have heard him. Then point, by point, address the benefits of your approach, but stop and listen to him along the way. When people feel like they aren't being heard, they just dig in more to disagree. Maybe once you show you are really incorporating DH's pov, he will be more able to listen to you.

And who knows, he could end up convincing you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And how do they do that through one, one hour playdate?

I have been able to observe these play dates, from afar, but with enough opportunity to observe to know that despite what parents say to their kids beforehand, it'll be a matter of minutes before a child's true colors show. In other words, if you have a hyperactive, stubborn, or otherwise non-compliant kid, it'll show.

[Anonymous]

OP here-thanks to poster 8:54 for the advice-given in a nonjudgmental way, unlike the previous poster! Glad to know that person is in such a perfect marriage where there is agreement about everything.


I think I am not going to say much until March and there are acceptances, or not. Then we will stop talking in the hypothetical, and sit down to reality.

[Anonymous]

Also, my husband hasn't really made a good argument as to why public would be better for our son-only that it would be better for us financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And how do they do that through one, one hour playdate?

I have been able to observe these play dates, from afar, but with enough opportunity to observe to know that despite what parents say to their kids beforehand, it'll be a matter of minutes before a child's true colors show. In other words, if you have a hyperactive, stubborn, or otherwise non-compliant kid, it'll show.

So, within a few minutes the kids start acting like....kids? Shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP or anyone else who knows:

How much do the private schools that can exclude the badly behaved kids cost (ballpark figure) per year?

The Promised Land for most on DCUM - Mt. St. Alban atop of which sits Beauvoir - is over 26K per year even at the pre-K level. The Admissions Staff is either applauded or despised, depending on your perspective, for identifying so well, and then swiftly rejecting "non-compliant" kids.

Wow. Just wow. I don't see how people can afford it. (I do remember there is a whole other thread out there, so I won't hijack.)

[Anonymous]

Dad wins. Revisit the issue (a) if you aren't happy with your public (b) if you discover that your DC has needs or interests it can't address or (c) at MS or HS.

[Anonymous]

Already unhappy with public-too many kids and budget cuts!!!!!