Cancelled Travel Backlash
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Anonymous
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Mainly a vent. Sister had planned family Bar Mitzvah in Israel. Many family member strongly requested they not do this (expense, travel time, vacation time, etc) considering entire immediate family is local. At the end of the day, I (aunt), one uncle, and both sets of grandparents agreed to go. Knowing that a financial deadline was passing last week, I discussed the trip with my mother who said she was definitely not going and had talked to the other grandparents (sharing concerns as fellow 70 year olds) who were also not going. As in, they were already working on cancelling the plane tickets and hotels (the expenses left to guests) But, they still wanted to “wait and see what was going to happen” Ie,put off telling the hosting family so they wouldn’t upset them. I decided that, if it were me, I’d rather save the 1000’s of dollars of tour and meal expense per guest. It seemed selfish wait when I could see the writing on the wall. So, I told sister last week that I was pulling out.
Fast forward. Sister not speaking to me. Both sets of grandparents expressing how disappointed they are that they can’t go. We are being left out of new local planning and being accused of ruining event. |
Anonymous
| I'm not sure why you are to blame but ignore it. I would not go either. Its an absurd expense that was unreasonable to ask in the first place. |
Anonymous
| Sister is selfish and put everyone else out financially to start with. Then wanted to endanger grandparents. She could be mad for a long time, as much as I would care. |
Anonymous
| Have they not read that everyone entering Israel is now under quarantine for two weeks? This entire thing should be canceled. |
Anonymous
| Anyone arriving in Israel will be quarantined for two weeks. |
Anonymous
OP. I’m 100% ignoring. As late as this morning they were contacting grandparents to say it was 100% going forward unless cancelled on Israel end. Regardless of risk to all three elderly grandparents. I’m really just venting here. My only communication to sister’s family was a text (since she wouldn’t answer phone) saying how sorry I was to pull out and hopes I could do something special with Bar Mitzvah boy to make up for it. Total radio silence since then. |
Anonymous
OP here. That’s the only reason it’s off. It was “on” (as far as they knew) as off this morning. Grandparents played it better (in retrospect) than I did by delaying telling the family they were cancelling. I don’t blame this. Drama sucks |
Anonymous
I don’t blame “them” |
Anonymous
I'm having a hard time following your story . Is the event cancelled now? |
Anonymous
OP here. Sorry, I’m not the best writer. Sister is not speaking to me, so i didn’t receive an “official” notice of cancellation. Both sets of grandparents were busy cancelling behind the scenes, so, when the announcement came out this afternoon about Israel effectively closing off the borders to tourists, they jumped straight to communicating how much they were “regretting” the event was cancelled. I’m only hearing about these conversations through my mom. I’m sure they are, as an I, sad for sisters family and for nephew that the event is off. But everyone but me gets to pretend they were all completely on board with going until forced, by Israeli policy, to cancel. So, because I was honest earlier and sister was completely unreasonable about this from the beginning, I’m being painted as the bad guy. I do feel badly for my mom who is in the middle and honestly just didn’t want to upset her kid. |
Anonymous
| Sister is a jerk and was willing to put her elderly relatives at risk. |
Anonymous
Your sister sounds selfish but you sound exhausting. What the heck are you prattling on about? |
Anonymous
PP's comment is ignorant and unhelpful. People who post that others are "exhausting" are people who are too lazy to read. OP made the situation clear enough. OP, does your sister make a habit of being this self-centered? Has she pulled this silent treatment on you or others before this? I'm betting yes. She sounds like a person who's used to getting her way (or who complains that she "never" gets her way and this trip was going to be the exception and now she still can't have her way....). Consider whether this is just part of her usual pattern. That might make her mean-spirited behavior easier to ignore. She's being a jerk to you and, it seems, only you. I'd speak to HER face to face if she's local and tell her you love and value your nephew and would like to be there for his rescheduled bar mitzvah to support him. If she's snitty about it, stay sweet and say you're so sorry she is cutting you out of being there to support her son. |
Anonymous
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The grandparents played it better because they know your sister is a terrible person. Hopefully you’ll patch it up, since the event was cancelled by Israel, not you, and it might percolate in your sister’s brain that you were right all along,
Your parents should sweet talk her into not resenting you, BTW. That’s their job. |
Anonymous
| Yep, your sister is selfish and ungrateful. I suspect she's always been this way. However, I'm not letting your parents off the hook. They spoke about cancelling behind her back, but then can't bring themselves to be honest and defend you. Frankly, they should be ashamed and it's no wonder your sister is as terrible as she is! |