Stepmom complaining about dad helping daughter with college expenses.

[Anonymous]

Daughter has grants, loans, and part time job. She has asked for help with things like costs of text books and car repairs. Stepmom invited her own adult daughter to move in with them, it’s been a couple of years now. She does not pay rent and an adult son had previously lived rent free with them. Stepmom makes snarky comments to daughter and her dad when she feels dad is doing too much. From her perspective, it costs less to provide free room and board, then to send a check out. From our perspective, free room and board, is providing a lot more help. Daughter has had roommates but pays her own rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter has grants, loans, and part time job. She has asked for help with things like costs of text books and car repairs. Stepmom invited her own adult daughter to move in with them, it’s been a couple of years now. She does not pay rent and an adult son had previously lived rent free with them. Stepmom makes snarky comments to daughter and her dad when she feels dad is doing too much. From her perspective, it costs less to provide free room and board, then to send a check out. From our perspective, free room and board, is providing a lot more help. Daughter has had roommates but pays her own rent.

Stepmom sucks, and I hope your ex stands his ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter has grants, loans, and part time job. She has asked for help with things like costs of text books and car repairs. Stepmom invited her own adult daughter to move in with them, it’s been a couple of years now. She does not pay rent and an adult son had previously lived rent free with them. Stepmom makes snarky comments to daughter and her dad when she feels dad is doing too much. From her perspective, it costs less to provide free room and board, then to send a check out. From our perspective, free room and board, is providing a lot more help. Daughter has had roommates but pays her own rent.

Who is "our?" You and your daughter? You and your ex husband (daughter's dad?)

This sucks for your daughter, and I am sorry for that. But it is a tale as old as time...When a divorced/widowed father marries another woman with kids from her previous marriage, his kids no longer matter.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the stepmom sucks. I say this as a stepmom myself. You never ever come between a father and his child. That stepmom is making a huge mistake complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter has grants, loans, and part time job. She has asked for help with things like costs of text books and car repairs. Stepmom invited her own adult daughter to move in with them, it’s been a couple of years now. She does not pay rent and an adult son had previously lived rent free with them. Stepmom makes snarky comments to daughter and her dad when she feels dad is doing too much. From her perspective, it costs less to provide free room and board, then to send a check out. From our perspective, free room and board, is providing a lot more help. Daughter has had roommates but pays her own rent.

Who is "our?" You and your daughter? You and your ex husband (daughter's dad?)

This sucks for your daughter, and I am sorry for that. But it is a tale as old as time...When a divorced/widowed father marries another woman with kids from her previous marriage, his kids no longer matter.

That is not true! I love my step kids dearly and they matter greatly to me!

[Anonymous]

How much are you helping?

[Anonymous]

If your college age daughter is paying her own rent, food, and has a car, it sound like she cannot afford the lifestyle and that's why a lot of kids don't have cars in college. How much are you contributing. It sounds like neither parent is paying anything and Dad helps with some stuff and you help with nothing. Step up and help or sell the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter has grants, loans, and part time job. She has asked for help with things like costs of text books and car repairs. Stepmom invited her own adult daughter to move in with them, it’s been a couple of years now. She does not pay rent and an adult son had previously lived rent free with them. Stepmom makes snarky comments to daughter and her dad when she feels dad is doing too much. From her perspective, it costs less to provide free room and board, then to send a check out. From our perspective, free room and board, is providing a lot more help. Daughter has had roommates but pays her own rent.

Who is "our?" You and your daughter? You and your ex husband (daughter's dad?)

This sucks for your daughter, and I am sorry for that. But it is a tale as old as time...When a divorced/widowed father marries another woman with kids from her previous marriage, his kids no longer matter.

Daughter is paying for things through grants, loans and a job. Dad stops paying child support which means mom is probably not contributing as her contribution was from Dad's child support money. Mom needs to step up and pay if she thinks those things should be paid for. I feel bad for the kid neither is helping and kid is living over their means.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is the daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much are you helping?

If daughter qualifies for grants and loans then the mom probably earns much less then dad. Financial aid can be based on mom’s income alone.

[Anonymous]

This is why divorce isn’t fair to kids. You should have worked this out in divorce docs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your college age daughter is paying her own rent, food, and has a car, it sound like she cannot afford the lifestyle and that's why a lot of kids don't have cars in college. How much are you contributing. It sounds like neither parent is paying anything and Dad helps with some stuff and you help with nothing. Step up and help or sell the car.

A car that needs repairs is probably not a newer car. It depends on the local transportation system, on how easy, it is for a young woman to manage without a car. A car could be a safer option for driving at night and not just be a luxury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter has grants, loans, and part time job. She has asked for help with things like costs of text books and car repairs. Stepmom invited her own adult daughter to move in with them, it’s been a couple of years now. She does not pay rent and an adult son had previously lived rent free with them. Stepmom makes snarky comments to daughter and her dad when she feels dad is doing too much. From her perspective, it costs less to provide free room and board, then to send a check out. From our perspective, free room and board, is providing a lot more help. Daughter has had roommates but pays her own rent.

Do you expect to find or instill morals or empathy in a marriage wrecker?

[Anonymous]

Do you think the kid was not through enough to deny her few bucks from her own father?

I would by a Cinderella dvd and give to her next time she comment. I would say, I was considering to write a story about you but lo and behold it already exist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why divorce isn’t fair to kids. You should have worked this out in divorce docs.

Some dads are messing up well beyond necessary. It is for him to put the foot down. Do you thing that the new fife would consider divorcevover peanuts? He should say.. either we are treating both kids equally or the deal is off.. but he is not going to risk his sex supply.