Stepmom complaining about dad helping daughter with college expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why divorce isn’t fair to kids. You should have worked this out in divorce docs.

There might not be a way to include help with college beyond the age of 21 in divorce docs. Not everyone can graduate by that age. If there is not an age limit, then some young people might continue to get support by staying in school indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why divorce isn’t fair to kids. You should have worked this out in divorce docs.

There might not be a way to include help with college beyond the age of 21 in divorce docs. Not everyone can graduate by that age. If there is not an age limit, then some young people might continue to get support by staying in school indefinitely.

Nothing stopping mom from helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think the kid was not through enough to deny her few bucks from her own father?

I would by a Cinderella dvd and give to her next time she comment. I would say, I was considering to write a story about you but lo and behold it already exist!

Why can’t mom help?

[Anonymous]

Why wasn't this outlined in the divorce settlement?

[Anonymous]

Maybe because she's tired of her husband being treated like a human ATM machine? Which is what most ex-husbands are reduced to.

[Anonymous]

It has to sting to see your dad fully support someone else’s kid while making resentful comments about helping you.

These threads are a little bit like divorce prevention. I feel like I can put up with a little more crap from marriage so my kids don’t have to deal with crap like this from divorce. Sometimes men really suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe because she's tired of her husband being treated like a human ATM machine? Which is what most ex-husbands are reduced to.

Awesome! Then the husband should kick the stepmom’s ADULT kid out of the house. Somehow, I bet stepmom has tons of reasons why her kid mooching is just fine.

[Anonymous]

This was my dad and stepmom. My stepmom refused to let my dad pay for a more expensive college so I went to a really cheap one. My dad is mild-mannered and there was nothing to be done about it. Ten years later her daughter was applying to all the expensive schools.

It all worked out okay in the end but it was a real struggle to get over that. The real issue for me wasn’t the money, it was feeling like I was less important than I had been before their marriage. Maybe point that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think the kid was not through enough to deny her few bucks from her own father?

I would by a Cinderella dvd and give to her next time she comment. I would say, I was considering to write a story about you but lo and behold it already exist!

Why can’t mom help?

Why is dad supporting other people’s kids and not his own???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your college age daughter is paying her own rent, food, and has a car, it sound like she cannot afford the lifestyle and that's why a lot of kids don't have cars in college. How much are you contributing. It sounds like neither parent is paying anything and Dad helps with some stuff and you help with nothing. Step up and help or sell the car.

That’s ridiculous.

While I am not OP you have zero idea why she needs a car. Having a car does not mean for sure she’s living above her means.

Having a car could mean getting to class or a job not everyone can afford to live close to a campus. Or some colleges have no room on campus for students after freshman year.

According to OP this kid works part time it’s not like she’s a total slacker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe because she's tired of her husband being treated like a human ATM machine? Which is what most ex-husbands are reduced to.

Awesome! Then the husband should kick the stepmom’s ADULT kid out of the house. Somehow, I bet stepmom has tons of reasons why her kid mooching is just fine.

Yeah, maybe they all have a close relationship with her. Maybe she hasn't been using them for money for years. There probably are lots of reasons, I agree. You divorced people seem to think that men should just blindly give money no matter what. I wouldn't help my own child if we barely had any real relationship and they only contacted me for money, which is what most divorced kids do, as instructed by their biological moms.

[Anonymous]

Does DD have a relationship with dad, or is it purely transactional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe because she's tired of her husband being treated like a human ATM machine? Which is what most ex-husbands are reduced to.

Right. When all you provide is financial support, no emotional and limited physical time together, you kind of become the only thing you're capable of providing. When stepmom takes over and becomes jealous of the time together...it's much easier for dad just to write checks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe because she's tired of her husband being treated like a human ATM machine? Which is what most ex-husbands are reduced to.

Awesome! Then the husband should kick the stepmom’s ADULT kid out of the house. Somehow, I bet stepmom has tons of reasons why her kid mooching is just fine.

Yeah, maybe they all have a close relationship with her. Maybe she hasn't been using them for money for years. There probably are lots of reasons, I agree. You divorced people seem to think that men should just blindly give money no matter what. I wouldn't help my own child if we barely had any real relationship and they only contacted me for money, which is what most divorced kids do, as instructed by their biological moms.

You forgot to sign... "Bitter Second Wife." I get it. It stinks to always be jealous of the natural love your husband will always have for his biological children. Do you have children, PP, or are the only children in your life from your husbands first marriage?

[Anonymous]

Ignore the incels.

I wouldn't say anything OP , but I would encourage daughter to speak to dad directly.

In the future some schools let you rent books for the semester at a lower cost.. Also look into additional scholarship that may cover books.

Also check with profs some don't frequently change books and she may be able to get books for cheap from other students. I knew people who would swap books to save.