How to change DH's mind on weight?

[Anonymous]

Let me start off by saying I love my DH... He is more active than I am. He works out 5-6 times a week and I only go to the gym 2-3 times a week. (I do walk 1.5 miles each way to work though.) I think my weight is about right at the moment, I am 5'8" and 129 pounds. The DH keeps harassing me to lose weight... and he obviously is concerned about my looks not my health.

I'm not sure how to handle it! I'm normal, right? Do I really need to lose weight?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what to tell you except that I envy both your height and your weight!

How does he harass you - can you give specifics? What does he say?

[Anonymous]

You do NOT need to lose weight, and I prefer to be on the thin side. And your husband should not be "harassing" you about it either. You should point out to him that you are well within the range of normal for your height, and let him know it hurts your feelings. What exactly is he bothered by? Flabby tummy or arms? Cellulite? These things can all be helped by weight training, not losing weight. DH needs to back off.

[Anonymous]

5'8" and 129 pounds??!!! Look yourself up on the BMI chart. I bet you're just fine!

[Anonymous]

I'm 5'9 and the same weight, and personally I don't feel like I need to lose. I do work out pretty hard 6 days/week, though, so I am pretty lean and don't have "jiggle". Although by Hollywood standards I could probably stand to lose about 10lb!

I think you are normal, but it sounds like your DH wants you to be skinny. Have you gained weight since marriage/kids?

[Anonymous]

5'8" and 129 pounds?!? I wish my wife had your weight problem. Tell your husband to shove it.

[Anonymous]

This is a sincere question that may sound snarky but it meant to gain helpful additional info:

1. Do you live in New York City?

2. How old are you?

3. How long have you been together with DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5'8" and 129 pounds??!!! Look yourself up on the BMI chart. I bet you're just fine!

Better yet, show HIM the BMI charts. (Here's an example: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/)

It shows you at 19.6, on the lower side of normal (which ranges from 18.5-24.9). And if you went down to 121, you'd be considered underweight. How much is he suggesting you lose?!?

[Anonymous]

I just checked. You are almost at the bottom of the normal scale. Below that is underweight.

[Anonymous]

OP here... He mostly just makes comments about how I should go to the gym more and questions why I am eating "bad" foods like cookies. The part that makes me feel the worst is when he compares me to my best friend, who is my height and probably 15 pounds lighter.

Haha, not NYC, here in DC! We have been married just under 6 years. And I have probably gained about 5 pounds since we were married?

[Anonymous]

I'd buy him an anorexic blow up doll, tell him to kiss my ass and put him on pxxxy restriction.

[Anonymous]

he sounds like an asshole

[Anonymous]

OK, so you're not covered by the parallel universe that is NYC weight standards (ie, you can be size 0, 2, or possibly a 4 if you are 5' 11" or taller).

He's full of it. He's also being really unkind to compare you to your friend, whether your BMI is 19 or 27. That's just not nice, and it makes me think he's 'not nice' on some other subjects as well.

Can you just tell him to STFU?

[Anonymous]

tell him to read Satter's book on kid and food. Telling you to not eat cookies or even giving you the evil eye for enjoying a small treat is more likely to lead to you sneaking treats when he isn't around. And them get him to read some books on body image disorders. He has a completely unrealistic view on what a WOMAN's body should look like.

If he wants you to be more aerobically fit in order to go on a fab biking or skiing vacation, that is something else. But it sounds like he is fixated on an unrealistic body type. Even the Hollywood types will tell you that it is not sustainable long-term.They lose weight for a role, but it all comes back.

[Anonymous]

Does your DH eat any sweets or occasional junk? If so you can use those instances to give him a taste of his own medicine. Snatch it out of his hand and give him a celery stalk, along with a shaming glare.