Are birthday party politics really so intense or is this a DCUM thing?
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Anonymous
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My only kid is 1. We did a small family thing for her first, so I haven't had any experience in kids birthday parties yet.
There are so many threads here - do we need extra pizza, what's the "best" birthday spot, are these favors good enough, omg so and so is bringing a sibling, etc. etc. Not judging - as I said, I don't have any experience in this to judge - but are birthday parties really such a big deal or is this a DCUM thing? I genuinely don't think I'd care what someone serves at a birthday party or if the favors are good enough/nonexistent. I guess I thought a kid's birthday party would be a pretty casual thing (clearly that's wrong). |
Anonymous
| I think the venue is a big deal because parties are expensive so people solicit feedback on that. I think the sibling thing is a big deal because venues, again, are expensive, and there are limits to the amount of kids that can be accommodated. Food is not a bid deal - pizza is universally accepted for kids and parents. No one cares about favors except there is an environmental aspect. |
Anonymous
| Wait till your kid gets older. |
Anonymous
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You do you, OP. Some people do simple home parties, some people do elaborate home parties, some people do simple venue parties, some people do elaborate venue parties.The people who do simpler parties don't usually discuss them on DCUM because there's less to discuss, that's all.
Don't worry about it. Do what you want to. It's fine. |
Anonymous
| A good birthday party gets miss of respect and is soon forgotten. But a bad one will be remembered for awhile and gossiped about for awhile too. Proceed accordingly. By age seven, no one cares. |
Anonymous
^ nods |
Anonymous
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Wait until that family shows up with 2-3 older siblings to your party. I remember having a party for my then 4yo and the dad brought 2 older siblings plus their nanny. I had exactly 24 kids expected and had opened 3 packs of 8 favors. I was stressed about the favors.
Or when your kid wants to have an escape room party who can hold only 12 people so you have to either cut his friend from preschool who you have invited every year or the friend from scouts or your neighbor or the kid your mom has known since you were a toddler and did everything together. |
Anonymous
Really? Gossiped about by kids or parents? I get it if it's kids and you don't want your kid to be embarrassed . . . if it's a 35 year old complaining about a kid's birthday party though . . |
Anonymous
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No one cares. You do you. I have always had huge parties for my kids birthdays. Since we are also included parents and siblings, my DH would insist on a full hot lunch/dinner served buffet style in addition to pizza, snacks, icecream, cake etc.
Then we had one or two entertainment - a magician and a bounce house, themes and games, goody bags brimming with snacks and toys, balloons...and everyone had a good time. On the other hand, my kids attended birthday parties that were sleepovers and playdates, venues and destinations. Some were as simple as a cupcake each and some were specific to an activity - movie, ice-skating, zipline etc. No guest or host cared how anyone celebrated their birthdays and we were just happy to be included. In the big scheme of things, no one remembers! It is however very ill-mannered to criticize someone else's choices. Our birthday parties grew so big mainly because we used to include every child whose parties our children were invited to, my friend's kids, relatives and their kids, neighborhood kids (all were given invites) and the whole class. For us, to invite everyone, and to feed everyone is a cultural thing. It took time and effort but it was so worth it. |
Anonymous
OP. Honestly, this is my point. I don't have perspective on this. |
Anonymous
| For normal people, no one cares. It's 2 hours of entertainment and cake for your kid and then you go home. Bonus points if I can also snag a piece of cake. If you find yourself gossiping about the tacky favors at Jimmy's 5th Bday party 3 months ago you really need to reassess your life. |
Anonymous
I have also in the past included everyone. Now my kids are upper elementary. The parties get smaller and smaller. |
Anonymous
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We have never had any birthday angst or drama. Four kids, now all teens. We do low key parties though. We did family parties until K. After that they invited a handful of friends, no more than 10 and we did something fun. We didn't do big venues or all class or elaborate things.
We are low key so our parties are too. Never had any party related issues at all. |
Anonymous
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Normal people don't care. I find that pretty much any kind of party is fun so long as the parents aren't super uptight and put a minimum amount of thought into the planning.
My kid enjoys venue parties, she enjoys home parties, she enjoys parties at the park. She doesn't care how much you spent, she cares about getting to play with her friends. She personally likes big parties, and wants to invite everyone she knows, but she's also okay with a party in the backyard with a store-bought cake and homemade games, so that's fine. |
Anonymous
| It becomes more a big deal when your kid isn’t invited. |