Are birthday party politics really so intense or is this a DCUM thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Society will suck you in. Even if you'd rather do at home family celebrations, your kid will get jealous they don't get to ever have a party at a venue.

Not necessarily. My kid is perfectly content with at-home parties.

[Anonymous]

None of the questions OP brings up are intense or dcum specific!! They are normal questions to get information on. Asking about sibling ettiquette is fair to discuss and no big deal. Asking about pizza amount is informative and not indicative of someone unable to be an adult (as a pp implied). Asking about favors and venues is fine, not an intense or big deal thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of the questions OP brings up are intense or dcum specific!! They are normal questions to get information on. Asking about sibling ettiquette is fair to discuss and no big deal. Asking about pizza amount is informative and not indicative of someone unable to be an adult (as a pp implied). Asking about favors and venues is fine, not an intense or big deal thing.

OP. Agree there's nothing wrong with the questions (though I do think the ones about favors are a bit much) - but inevitably these posts have dozens of replies, several of which include the words "tacky" and "rude" and I just find it difficult to think how much pizza is served is that big of a deal. It feels like people are judged really harshly for something that's just supposed to be about kids having fun.

[Anonymous]

We have been to a few birthday parties that were bad enough that we still talk about them but the food or party favors never really register as long as there is something for the kids to eat other than cake or it’s between mealtimes. Basically the impact of a bad-but-not-noteworthy party is that I think of you as a family with poor hosting/social skills and steer clear for playdates. If the party is REALLY bad you might have trouble finding playdates for your kid because a lot of people might feel that you are total weirdos and want to avoid. But only if it is REALLY bad. I wish I could describe the really bad parties in detail but don’t want to dox myself.

[Anonymous]

Until they were in school o ly playmates from neighborhood were invited to b',day parties. Cake and ice cream only good and parties lasted no longer than two hours. Also, I never did goody bags. Children should be taught that only the birthday child gets presents. Spending a $1,000 plus fir a child's birthday party is beyond stupid. Once in school they could choose 10 guests to invite. I never invited the entire class and it is beyond ridiculous for schools to insist upon this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society will suck you in. Even if you'd rather do at home family celebrations, your kid will get jealous they don't get to ever have a party at a venue.

Not necessarily. My kid is perfectly content with at-home parties.

Mine has never asked, in 13 years. She's had fun at other kids parties, but never really wanted to have one of her own.

Our at-home parties were pretty low-key in terms of entertainment and activities, mostly just letting the kids hang out and play, but I did always make lots of fun food and creative decorations. Never hired any kind of entertainment or anything. But our neighborhood is pretty culturally and economically diverse, so I don't think people really expected that sort of thing. The only judgment might have come if we'd said no parents or siblings (although we always did for sleepovers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society will suck you in. Even if you'd rather do at home family celebrations, your kid will get jealous they don't get to ever have a party at a venue.

Not necessarily. My kid is perfectly content with at-home parties.

I have no problem telling my kid that every family does things a little differently. We also emphasize gratitude

[Anonymous]

We invited 5 friends to the local Fairfax County Rec Center pool on a Friday after school. My DD was turning 12. Paid for their fees to get in and swim. After a while, girls got out and we had pizza and cupcakes I had brought. That about covered it. All had fun. I paid about $50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one cares. You do you. I have always had huge parties for my kids birthdays. Since we are also included parents and siblings, my DH would insist on a full hot lunch/dinner served buffet style in addition to pizza, snacks, icecream, cake etc.

Then we had one or two entertainment - a magician and a bounce house, themes and games, goody bags brimming with snacks and toys, balloons...and everyone had a good time.

On the other hand, my kids attended birthday parties that were sleepovers and playdates, venues and destinations. Some were as simple as a cupcake each and some were specific to an activity - movie, ice-skating, zipline etc.

No guest or host cared how anyone celebrated their birthdays and we were just happy to be included. In the big scheme of things, no one remembers! It is however very ill-mannered to criticize someone else's choices.

Our birthday parties grew so big mainly because we used to include every child whose parties our children were invited to, my friend's kids, relatives and their kids, neighborhood kids (all were given invites) and the whole class. For us, to invite everyone, and to feed everyone is a cultural thing. It took time and effort but it was so worth it.

Wow. I hope if your husband “insisted”, he was also the one who planned these logistics.