Does any other woman with kids feel like this ?

[Anonymous]

I’ve come to realize staying at home isn’t for me. I’m transitioning out of the house and diving into a passion of mine-educationally that is. Anyways, I love talking with other people who enjoy debates, academia etc. The mom friends I have are the reverse. They are past this stage and if they could, they would stay at home. They enjoy talking about diapers, kid things. I find myself getting bored with talking too much about motherhood related things. Sometimes I feel like I need to fake it more to not come across so bored when someone is talking about Jrs. sleep regression. How do I balance being a mom and being intellectually stimulated ? Some women get it but I find it’s not the majority. Although the women I’m friends with are amazing and in managerial positions, they don’t love their job; it’s a job that pays the bills. So their kid is everything they want to talk about and I can’t always find interest in that.
Tips ?... I will say I have childless friends and we do dive into debates but I see them once a month.

[Anonymous]

Can you consult part time OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve come to realize staying at home isn’t for me. I’m transitioning out of the house and diving into a passion of mine-educationally that is. Anyways, I love talking with other people who enjoy debates, academia etc. The mom friends I have are the reverse. They are past this stage and if they could, they would stay at home. They enjoy talking about diapers, kid things. I find myself getting bored with talking too much about motherhood related things. Sometimes I feel like I need to fake it more to not come across so bored when someone is talking about Jrs. sleep regression. How do I balance being a mom and being intellectually stimulated ? Some women get it but I find it’s not the majority. Although the women I’m friends with are amazing and in managerial positions, they don’t love their job; it’s a job that pays the bills. So their kid is everything they want to talk about and I can’t always find interest in that.
Tips ?... I will say I have childless friends and we do dive into debates but I see them once a month.

PREACH! Same.

I'm just hunkered down until the kids get to elementary school. Then I plan on working again, at least part-time. In the meantime, I listen to a lot of public radio and various podcasts because it's something I can do while caring for babies.

[Anonymous]

What about volunteering?

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom, with a career (that I had well underway before I had kids) that I really enjoy and wouldn't change or give up.

I have a mix of friends and certainly have run into what you're describing OP, but I have a couple of very close friends who are moms and career women whose lives encompass much more than just parenting. They're my favorite people to hang out with, but they're also people I knew before we had kids, or met through work.

Maybe you will be able to meet some like-minded folks through the passion you're exploring, or if you go back into a work place. Meeting and making new friends is hard at this stage of life I find.

But hang in there - there are lots of us out here!

[Anonymous]

Same!! With you in the struggle.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty smart and well-educated and I have a stimulating job, but I definitely don’t want to “debate” with my friends. Do people other than my annoying right-wing uncle really want to do that? That sounds exhausting. My friends and I like to tell funny stories, commiserate, etc.

[Anonymous]

I really think it has more to do with personality than anything else. I was a SAHM for several years and felt out of place in a lot of conversations with other SAHMs. I didn't want to talk about kid stuff (maybe because I was with them 24/7)? I felt quite lonely. I am working now and it has helped but I find some of my working mom friends talk a lot about their kids/school stuff. Maybe its just the stage of life? I have noticed that as my kid has started middle school, there is less of this.

[Anonymous]

I'm from another state and after moving here, it seemed many conversations revolved around three topics: schools, jobs, and politics. And with jobs it is limited to finding out what you do...rarely goes much deeper! Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of differing opinions at work. The last thing I want to do is debate my friends outside of work.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of it is where you are. Transitioning from a regular person to being a parent is a big change and takes a lot of work. Some people find it easier than others. As the PP said, this will fade away as the kids get bigger. You will still talk about school but things will even out a bit. You might be disappointed to see that working isn't what automatically makes people more interesting. There are interesting people everywhere but they are hard to find. It takes some time.

[Anonymous]

Maybe others don’t know what to talk about so they just make small talk about kids since you have that in common. They may not find the conversation as interesting as you think.

[Anonymous]

OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

I have a PhD, love books, very cultured and well-traveled, etc. but “philosophical” discussions with mom friends? Meh.

[Anonymous]

Seek work