Does any other woman with kids feel like this ?

[Anonymous]

...I am the opposite. I want to be passionate about my work the way I was before my kids were born, but I’m not.
I really miss my kids a lot, didn’t think about work at all while I was on leave, and bust my butt to get out of the office as early as possible every day.

A lot of my work friends are like you. They really love work. Most only took a week or two off when their babies were born, still work late whenever they are needed, and are just very focused and driven. They never talk about kids at work and look at me like I have two heads when I ask about them. I wish that I could be more like them.

Maybe we should switch friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...I am the opposite. I want to be passionate about my work the way I was before my kids were born, but I’m not.
I really miss my kids a lot, didn’t think about work at all while I was on leave, and bust my butt to get out of the office as early as possible every day.

A lot of my work friends are like you. They really love work. Most only took a week or two off when their babies were born, still work late whenever they are needed, and are just very focused and driven. They never talk about kids at work and look at me like I have two heads when I ask about them. I wish that I could be more like them.

Maybe we should switch friends!

Omg, why? Why would anyone ever wish to be like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...I am the opposite. I want to be passionate about my work the way I was before my kids were born, but I’m not.
I really miss my kids a lot, didn’t think about work at all while I was on leave, and bust my butt to get out of the office as early as possible every day.

A lot of my work friends are like you. They really love work. Most only took a week or two off when their babies were born, still work late whenever they are needed, and are just very focused and driven. They never talk about kids at work and look at me like I have two heads when I ask about them. I wish that I could be more like them.

Maybe we should switch friends!

That is so very sad for your friends. Their children will suffer as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

I have a Catholic SAHM book club that reads good, somewhat philosophical books.
We read Divine Comedy, Les Miserables, and City of God last year. It was good to have something a little more difficult. I also started taking piano lessons with my daughters teacher and learning some more difficult music. Both of these stretch my brain a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

No one wants to talk about abortion rights, immigration reform, etc with a playground acquaintance. Nope.

[Anonymous]

You need to expand your friend network. It's not just the childless ones who are interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

No one wants to talk about abortion rights, immigration reform, etc with a playground acquaintance. Nope.

Well, except OP but I agree. OP if you are interested in talking about that stuff, trying to get your political/philosophical discussion needs met through mom friends is just setting yourself up for disappointment, honestly. Join a book club, get involved volunteering at non-profits, etc...trying to have these conversations with people you met at the playground or at preschool? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...I am the opposite. I want to be passionate about my work the way I was before my kids were born, but I’m not.
I really miss my kids a lot, didn’t think about work at all while I was on leave, and bust my butt to get out of the office as early as possible every day.

A lot of my work friends are like you. They really love work. Most only took a week or two off when their babies were born, still work late whenever they are needed, and are just very focused and driven. They never talk about kids at work and look at me like I have two heads when I ask about them. I wish that I could be more like them.

Maybe we should switch friends!

That is so very sad for your friends. Their children will suffer as a result.

You don’t know that. You also don’t know if their kids are happy. If they are, why do you care
how much these women work?

Also, I feel sorry for the kids who have inattentive sahms, that
like to drink and put the tv as their babysitter while they do dull stuff
Or drugs.

[Anonymous]

I suspect once you are working again and thinking / talking about other things for 8+ hours a day, you will enjoy the commiseration of "mom friends" and a chance to talk to someone about your kids. And be very tired if if anyone wants to talk to you about work.

I am also a little curious why you are conflating going back to work with "philosophical debates" unless you are a professor or something? You have a very romantic idea of work!

I think this is a grass is greener type thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

Yep. Same here.

[Anonymous]

I had to go back to work the SAHM I knew were too boring. I just needed more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect once you are working again and thinking / talking about other things for 8+ hours a day, you will enjoy the commiseration of "mom friends" and a chance to talk to someone about your kids. And be very tired if if anyone wants to talk to you about work.

I am also a little curious why you are conflating going back to work with "philosophical debates" unless you are a professor or something? You have a very romantic idea of work!

I think this is a grass is greener type thing.

I work at a law firm where other lawyers are mostly discussing the law or politics (pro liberal Democrat, anti-Republican).

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are expecting moms who work to have intellectual conversations with you. But likely these women have these conversations at work. They have to almost hide thier mom sides at work, so they are seeking out mom talk.

You need to either get a job or seek out gatherings that are designed to have these conversations. A book club. Join a political movement. Organize a play group for moms that want to talk about world events.

[Anonymous]

When I go out with friends, I always want to start a game where every time a mom mentions her kids or her husband, she takes a shot. If there's something more serious or significant re: kids/DH to discuss, that's one thing. I'm happy to listen and discuss. But hearing about Larlo's every.single.detail each and every time we meet is so epically boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect once you are working again and thinking / talking about other things for 8+ hours a day, you will enjoy the commiseration of "mom friends" and a chance to talk to someone about your kids. And be very tired if if anyone wants to talk to you about work.

I am also a little curious why you are conflating going back to work with "philosophical debates" unless you are a professor or something? You have a very romantic idea of work!

I think this is a grass is greener type thing.

Well, I work in policy and that’s all we talk about!