Does any other woman with kids feel like this ?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the issue.

You don't like staying at home so why don't you get a job???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

No one wants to talk about abortion rights, immigration reform, etc with a playground acquaintance. Nope.

New Poster. I'm a SAHM. I haven't worked in 10 years but I went to a good college and I have a master's degree in history that I don't use (thought I'd be heading for a job in academia but that didn't work out and I left my phd program before the dissertation phase).

Anyway, I love to talk about these things with friends. But I agree, they're not topics to bring up with people you don't know very well. That's why playground talk tends to be small talk. You keep it light because you don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. And we talk about kid stuff so much because it's the one thing you know you'll definitely have in common.

OP, it sounds like you just need to deepen your friendships. Or find friends that do like to talk about current events and debate issues. We exist out there in the world!

[Anonymous]

Just don’t talk to your “mom friends.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

No one wants to talk about abortion rights, immigration reform, etc with a playground acquaintance. Nope.

And sometimes it's hard to get into a "debate" when you have one eye on your kid the whole time and are probably getting interrupted at least a couple times.

[Anonymous]

Let me tell you what works for me: tons of audiobooks and podcasts. Always learning.

[Anonymous]

So work. Plenty of women do. No one is stopping you.

[Anonymous]

This is one of many reasons that I work. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that being a stay at home mom is not the right fit for you.. It works for some and doesn't for others.. I have friends who work, some who don't, some who work part time. Figure out what makes you happy.

When I went back to work full time I was spending most of my income on childcare and other such expenses. However, I recognized that my salary would increase and childcare cost would level out.. so don't look at only the immediate financial situation of going back to work.

[Anonymous]

I like to talk about philosophical child-related things Such as the main issues affecting kids nowadays: screen time, social media, over-scheduling, nutrition, schools, etc. I like to get a read on how other parents are dealing with these issues. I would never go into detail about my preschooler's potty habits with anyone except my mom or my closest friend (who has the same age child), during a private, one-on-one conversation. I have enough EQ to know that nobody else would care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to talk about philosophical child-related things Such as the main issues affecting kids nowadays: screen time, social media, over-scheduling, nutrition, schools, etc. I like to get a read on how other parents are dealing with these issues. I would never go into detail about my preschooler's potty habits with anyone except my mom or my closest friend (who has the same age child), during a private, one-on-one conversation. I have enough EQ to know that nobody else would care.

Ugh. This is even worse than talking about poop and sleep regressions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...I am the opposite. I want to be passionate about my work the way I was before my kids were born, but I’m not.
I really miss my kids a lot, didn’t think about work at all while I was on leave, and bust my butt to get out of the office as early as possible every day.

A lot of my work friends are like you. They really love work. Most only took a week or two off when their babies were born, still work late whenever they are needed, and are just very focused and driven. They never talk about kids at work and look at me like I have two heads when I ask about them. I wish that I could be more like them.

Maybe we should switch friends!

That is so very sad for your friends. Their children will suffer as a result.

IDK, it's not for me ... but my friend is a pediatric cardiologist. Her kids have not suffered. They are very close and the kids are thriving.

another friend who does child abuse prosecutions. Her kids are not suffering either.

<note: neither only took a week of maternity leave though>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

No one wants to talk about abortion rights, immigration reform, etc with a playground acquaintance. Nope.

New Poster. I'm a SAHM. I haven't worked in 10 years but I went to a good college and I have a master's degree in history that I don't use (thought I'd be heading for a job in academia but that didn't work out and I left my phd program before the dissertation phase).

Anyway, I love to talk about these things with friends. But I agree, they're not topics to bring up with people you don't know very well. That's why playground talk tends to be small talk. You keep it light because you don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. And we talk about kid stuff so much because it's the one thing you know you'll definitely have in common.

OP, it sounds like you just need to deepen your friendships. Or find friends that do like to talk about current events and debate issues. We exist out there in the world!

+1 I stick to safe topics with most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thanks everyone.
I should note it’s not that I want to debate but I just want to
talk about various topics and sometimes philosophical ones which can get a bit passionate. I like people who are cultured and not just one dimensional.

No one wants to talk about abortion rights, immigration reform, etc with a playground acquaintance. Nope.

New Poster. I'm a SAHM. I haven't worked in 10 years but I went to a good college and I have a master's degree in history that I don't use (thought I'd be heading for a job in academia but that didn't work out and I left my phd program before the dissertation phase).

Anyway, I love to talk about these things with friends. But I agree, they're not topics to bring up with people you don't know very well. That's why playground talk tends to be small talk. You keep it light because you don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. And we talk about kid stuff so much because it's the one thing you know you'll definitely have in common.

OP, it sounds like you just need to deepen your friendships. Or find friends that do like to talk about current events and debate issues. We exist out there in the world!

+1 I stick to safe topics with most people.

+1 Including the people I work with. I keep it professional.

[Anonymous]

Women like you are insufferable. I am a well-educated person who spends most of my free time reading or traveling, but I was raised to make conversation with all kinds of people. Try being genuinely curious about another human being and you might find other women aren’t all “diapers and dullards”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women like you are insufferable. I am a well-educated person who spends most of my free time reading or traveling, but I was raised to make conversation with all kinds of people. Try being genuinely curious about another human being and you might find other women aren’t all “diapers and dullards”.

+1,000 I’m a SAHM now but am also highly educated. I can talk with many different kinds of people. Yeah all I connect more with some than others, but it has nothing to do with whether I work or stay home or they work or stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women like you are insufferable. I am a well-educated person who spends most of my free time reading or traveling, but I was raised to make conversation with all kinds of people. Try being genuinely curious about another human being and you might find other women aren’t all “diapers and dullards”.

+1,000 I’m a SAHM now but am also highly educated. I can talk with many different kinds of people. Yeah all I connect more with some than others, but it has nothing to do with whether I work or stay home or they work or stay home.

+1 also a SAHM and highly educated and can talk about almost anything and walk away not labeling the person as “one-dimensional” as OP put it.