Wedding 9 months away, but fears of not conceiving already in mind...

[Anonymous]

My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

[Anonymous]

Were you hoping you'd get pregnant during those 3 years without using birth control? I guess I don't understand when people do that- and then get pregant and say it was an accident? Once you are TTC, there are lost of secrets to help conceive.

[Anonymous]

OP here, no we weren't "trying" those 3 years. But a pregnancy then would of been welcomed joyously. We were and still are of the mindset that our relationship is great and having a child together is not anything to fear. I guess I figured during those three years that if we got pregnant, it would be nice to have that surprise, without any preasure. But now that the wedding is on, and we're older, the preasure has suddenly imerged.

[Anonymous]

Three years of unprotected sex without pregnancy isn't necessarily a sign of infertility but I would have some questions myself. Why not talk with your OB?

Of course, as the PP said, once you start trying actively you can chart your cycle and time sex, among other things.

[Anonymous]

is it true that untreated chlamydia could cause scarring to the point of increased unfertility?

[Anonymous]

meant INfertility, whoops

[Anonymous]

I suspect you are channeling some of your wedding anxiety into another subject, conceiving a baby. It is true that 3 years may seem like a long time, but if you were not paying special attention to timing, it is meaningless.

So instead of worrying about it, exercise, eat healthy, and plan the greatest bash ever! Exercise will definitely help you calm down and sleep at night. That and eating healthy will maximize your fertility down the road...

[Anonymous]

OP here, Thanks for the feedback. This out of state wedding does have my nerves shot. For future reference, what are these secrets to help conceive (1445)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is it true that untreated chlamydia could cause scarring to the point of increased unfertility?

yes, several STDs can cause or contribute to fertility problems.

[Anonymous]

Yes, Chlamydia is the reason why my best friend had to do IVF to conceive her son. She could not get pregnant otherwise because of the scarring.

[Anonymous]

Get your fiance's sperm tested ASAP! If we only knew we had male factor problems ahead of time, we could have started saving for IVF much earlier! Would rather be safe than sorry...infertility sucks and is no joke!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your fiance's sperm tested ASAP! If we only knew we had male factor problems ahead of time, we could have started saving for IVF much earlier! Would rather be safe than sorry...infertility sucks and is no joke!

I agree. Unless you rarely have sex, three years with no protection and no pregnancy is surprising.

[Anonymous]

I also agree that it is somewhat surprising. I'm assuming your cycles are regular? You can start charting (read Taking Charge of Your Fertility or the tutorials at fertilityfriend.com for the details). Charting will give you lots of insight into your cycles and so you can confirm you're ovulating regularly.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion not using birth control is trying to conceive so you have been trying for three years. I would consider testing.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I'll check out fertilityfriend.com and get started on charting. As far as testing my fiancé’s sperm, doubt we'll go that route until we do all we can without any medical interference. Is there anything else I should be doing on my own from home? Besides charting? I'm already taking pre-natal pills along with my regular daily vitamin. Yes, my cycles are very regular. 5-6 days, moderate, not heavy. No pms. Always have a pre cycle facial acne break-out to warn me its coming, it's fabulous .
But seriously, before consulting with a dr., what can we do to prepare? I mean, is it really just charting and experimenting with certain "positions" all you can do at home?