Wedding 9 months away, but fears of not conceiving already in mind...

[Anonymous]

You could try using ovulation predictor kits, too.

[Anonymous]

Read the book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It will tell you to take your temperature every morning, monitor your cervical fluid and beging charting you cycles.
Have 3 years of unprotected sex in your 20s and not getting pregnant does seem odd, even if you weren't trying. Someone in their 20's usually goes to see a fertility specialist after a year of trying. I would suggest reading as much as you can, learning the most about your cycles and prepaing for what may be a long journey.

Infertility can be both male and female factors. It's good to have bloodwork done on both of you and a semen analysis for starters. The more information you get, the better off you'll be.

[Anonymous]

If you are taking prenatal vitamins it sounds like you have been pretty actively trying.

After the stress of the wedding I'd get an RE workup for both of you. We really like Dr. Sacks at Columbia Fertility.

I'd take just the prenatals, that plus another vitamin would put you way over the daily requirements.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Op here again - I can't help but check back every few hours, it's quite relieving to read it's not just all in my head
Btw 20:53, I had never thought that too much of a good thing might be a bad thing, concerning my vitamin intake. I'll read the labels tonight before my usual dosage.
How long after I go off the pill do you think is enough time for my body to regulate? Is it weeks? Months? Years? I feel so naive, thank God for these forums!

[Anonymous]

A lot of women go off the pill and get pregnant right away. I went off the pill at age 33 after having been on it for 10+ years, got my period like clockwork, but DH and I were using condoms at the time b/c we were not yet ready. We started TTC in June and I got pregnant right away. How often were you and your fiance having sex during those 3 years? If it was once a month, or once a week, I can see why you didn't get pregnant. But if you were having sex regularly 3x/wk, it seems a little odd that you did not get pregnant. And I agree w/ the previous posters that you were indirectly trying to get pregnant if you were having sex for so long with no birth control at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, Thanks for the feedback. This out of state wedding does have my nerves shot. For future reference, what are these secrets to help conceive (1445)?

To make a baby, sperm needs to meet egg. Egg is only around for a short time after you ovulate. It's helpful for sperm to be hanging out when egg arrives, so sex for the few days before and maybe the day of ovulation helps maximize baby chances. You're body can only really make a baby this way a few days a month. If you didn't have sex during those 36 months you weren't protected at the time the egg was going to be available, you wouldn't be getting pregnant. Plus, even if you time it right, the chances are less than 20% you'd get pregnant. Less as you get older. Less, if you or your partner have any other issues.

[Anonymous]

p.s. most lubricants aren't very hospitable to sperm. Just a thought if you were using k-y or the like over those 3 years.

[Anonymous]

It's OP-

During those 3 yrs of not using any birth control, I would say we were typically intimate maybe 1-2 times weekly. And yes, k-y was occasionally used, darn it.
It is a bit brutally disappointing to realize how small of a window we each have per cycle to achieve a pregnancy. I should have probably mentioned this earlier in this thread; I am surrounded by other's children daily as I am a Nanny. And I think over the years that I have cared for these children, my desire to one day share in the joys of parenthood has multiplied ten-fold. I just think it would be horribly ironic to end up having fertility issues being who I am.
Thanks again everyone for all of your advice, stories & tips.
After a lengthy talk with soon to be hubby, we've decided on ttc AFTER we recover from our wedding expenses. Meaning perhaps a year or two from now. In the meantime, I plan to maintain an up to date chart of my cycles, continuing with pre-natal vitamins, doing my best to stay healthy and perhaps best of all, trying to stay positive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

I am also on my mid twenties,DS is almost 7 years old and I've beeing having umprotect sex for about 2 1/2 years after stop using birth control pills.
Don't worry! Your "umprotect sex life" has nothing to do with infertility.
Good luck to you on your wedding day and a life full of kids!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

I am also on my mid twenties,DS is almost 7 years old and I've beeing having umprotect sex for about 2 1/2 years after stop using birth control pills.
Don't worry! Your "umprotect sex life" has nothing to do with infertility.
Good luck to you on your wedding day and a life full of kids!!!

Not to be alarmist, but just because you've had one child does not mean that infertility can't/won't happen. I hope that's not the case for the OP or you. But diseases like endo can crop up silently, and while sufferers may have been quite fertile at one point, as the disease progresses, fertility can sharply decline. And you don't have to have pain to have endo (in fact, stage IV sufferers often don't have painful periods).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

I am also on my mid twenties,DS is almost 7 years old and I've beeing having umprotect sex for about 2 1/2 years after stop using birth control pills.
Don't worry! Your "umprotect sex life" has nothing to do with infertility.
Good luck to you on your wedding day and a life full of kids!!!

Not to be alarmist, but just because you've had one child does not mean that infertility can't/won't happen. I hope that's not the case for the OP or you. But diseases like endo can crop up silently, and while sufferers may have been quite fertile at one point, as the disease progresses, fertility can sharply decline. And you don't have to have pain to have endo (in fact, stage IV sufferers often don't have painful periods).

You know what?LETS THINK POSITIVELY! No worries here.
Yes I a a mom of one,but I am not worry about having a hard time having the second one.Please,let send positive messages to people in this forum ok?
THANK'S.
*I am finding myself TRYING to help the OP,and than you came and try to mess everything up.Oh my!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

I am also on my mid twenties,DS is almost 7 years old and I've beeing having umprotect sex for about 2 1/2 years after stop using birth control pills.
Don't worry! Your "umprotect sex life" has nothing to do with infertility.
Good luck to you on your wedding day and a life full of kids!!!

Not to be alarmist, but just because you've had one child does not mean that infertility can't/won't happen. I hope that's not the case for the OP or you. But diseases like endo can crop up silently, and while sufferers may have been quite fertile at one point, as the disease progresses, fertility can sharply decline. And you don't have to have pain to have endo (in fact, stage IV sufferers often don't have painful periods).

You know what?LETS THINK POSITIVELY! No worries here.
Yes I a a mom of one,but I am not worry about having a hard time having the second one.Please,let send positive messages to people in this forum ok?
THANK'S.
*I am finding myself TRYING to help the OP,and than you came and try to mess everything up.Oh my!

I wasn't trying to mess everything up. I was speaking from medical experience. Unprotected sex with no conception over a couple of years may be cause for concern. It's not about thinking positively, it's about thinking proactively. So don't accuse someone who went through hell to start a family of trying to toy with people on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

I am also on my mid twenties,DS is almost 7 years old and I've beeing having umprotect sex for about 2 1/2 years after stop using birth control pills.
Don't worry! Your "umprotect sex life" has nothing to do with infertility.
Good luck to you on your wedding day and a life full of kids!!!

Not to be alarmist, but just because you've had one child does not mean that infertility can't/won't happen. I hope that's not the case for the OP or you. But diseases like endo can crop up silently, and while sufferers may have been quite fertile at one point, as the disease progresses, fertility can sharply decline. And you don't have to have pain to have endo (in fact, stage IV sufferers often don't have painful periods).

You know what?LETS THINK POSITIVELY! No worries here.
Yes I a a mom of one,but I am not worry about having a hard time having the second one.Please,let send positive messages to people in this forum ok?
THANK'S.
*I am finding myself TRYING to help the OP,and than you came and try to mess everything up.Oh my!

How is anything you've said concretely helpful to the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's OP-

During those 3 yrs of not using any birth control, I would say we were typically intimate maybe 1-2 times weekly. And yes, k-y was occasionally used, darn it.
It is a bit brutally disappointing to realize how small of a window we each have per cycle to achieve a pregnancy. I should have probably mentioned this earlier in this thread; I am surrounded by other's children daily as I am a Nanny. And I think over the years that I have cared for these children, my desire to one day share in the joys of parenthood has multiplied ten-fold. I just think it would be horribly ironic to end up having fertility issues being who I am.
Thanks again everyone for all of your advice, stories & tips.
After a lengthy talk with soon to be hubby, we've decided on ttc AFTER we recover from our wedding expenses. Meaning perhaps a year or two from now. In the meantime, I plan to maintain an up to date chart of my cycles, continuing with pre-natal vitamins, doing my best to stay healthy and perhaps best of all, trying to stay positive.

Waiting some time to ttc sounds wise, given you plans, but you might want to consider some cheap options for exploring fertility now, in case you conclude you will need conception help and can then plan for it in advance. For one, buy an at home sperm test and at home fsh test for women, like PreConceive for men, which is under $40 and First Response fertility for women is about $20. If you have any concerns after those tests, which of course don't cover everything, your health insurance may cover some fertility testing for both of you. You can at least ask.

I suggest this because (a) it might be that you are fertile now but have a rising fsh level and should start trying now, (b) you might want to start saving now for fertility treatments or (c) you might get good news and have less on your mind as you begin married life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband to be does not share these fears, but I can't seem to shake them. We've been sexually active for 5 years now, 2 on the pill, but 3 without any birth control method. It just boggles my mind that with us having been so careless for those 3 years I still never had any missed days or real reasons to take a pregnancy test. I'm in my mid twenties, fairly good health, I don't get it. My real fear is that once we do start trying to conceive, it won't happen eithier. Maybe this is all just wedding jitters...

I am also on my mid twenties,DS is almost 7 years old and I've beeing having umprotect sex for about 2 1/2 years after stop using birth control pills.
Don't worry! Your "umprotect sex life" has nothing to do with infertility.
Good luck to you on your wedding day and a life full of kids!!!

Not to be alarmist, but just because you've had one child does not mean that infertility can't/won't happen. I hope that's not the case for the OP or you. But diseases like endo can crop up silently, and while sufferers may have been quite fertile at one point, as the disease progresses, fertility can sharply decline. And you don't have to have pain to have endo (in fact, stage IV sufferers often don't have painful periods).

You know what?LETS THINK POSITIVELY! No worries here.
Yes I a a mom of one,but I am not worry about having a hard time having the second one.Please,let send positive messages to people in this forum ok?
THANK'S.
*I am finding myself TRYING to help the OP,and than you came and try to mess everything up.Oh my!

I wasn't trying to mess everything up. I was speaking from medical experience. Unprotected sex with no conception over a couple of years may be cause for concern. It's not about thinking positively, it's about thinking proactively. So don't accuse someone who went through hell to start a family of trying to toy with people on this forum.

I am not accusing anyone here.I am not even interested in talking about it anymore.
*I knew in the back of my mind that you had some hard time starting a family of your own.And do you know how? Your "bad side" comments and for having to say something negative about this post.
Not trying to be mean,but your nagative comments were NOT necessary.