Going away w/ DH when no family to help

[Anonymous]

DH and I have not been away together in almost 5 years because we have no one to watch our kids. Kids are 4.5 and 1. Neither of our families live close and would not be able to do it regardless (age, health issues, etc). We have an amazing nanny but she can’t stay over nights or weekends because she has kids of her own she needs to care for. I have a couple Saturday night babysitters but don’t think I would trust them to watch the baby for a whole weekend and juggle two kids.

Is anyone else in this situation where you don’t have anyone to watch your kids? Do you somehow manage to still get away? Do you just hire a random sitter your kids don’t know well and hope for the best? My kids are slow to warm with new people so I would just feel so awful leaving them with someone they don’t know well.

Next year is our 10 year wedding anniversary and I really, really want a night away, but doesn’t look like it’s in the cards. And of course most of our friends have family help and are planning amazing trips for their anniversaries.

[Anonymous]

What on earth? Can you not acclimate your kids to a sitter, who therefore will no longer be “random,” and then use that person as an overnight sitter?

You sound like you’d rather dwell on what you don’t have than try to develop workable solutions to the situation you do have.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t leave your kids with people you don’t trust or know well.

We are in the same boat. We have friends with small kids too and we have been able to do babysitting swaps with a few of them, for one overnight, a handful of times. For our 10th anniversary which is next year as well we are planning a family trip. Of course I’d love an actual vacation without my kids but at their ages (and your kids’ ages) it’s difficult without family help. We may invite a babysitter to come on part of the trip so that she can watch the kids for a couple of evenings out.

[Anonymous]

Ask your nanny if she’ll do an overnight for $$$ and get a local hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever talked to your nanny about going away? Could she bring her kids to your house for the weekend?

The only way we’ve been able to go away is because of our nanny.

[Anonymous]

We have always taken our kids with us on vacation.

[Anonymous]

No and I've never considered it. I would not leave my kids overnight with hired help.

[Anonymous]

We don’t have family here in DC. But we did go away for our 10thh anniversary when our kids were 6 and 2. How did we do it?

Friends with kids. Our son went to our friends who has a son the same age and our daughter stayed with a co-worker/friend whose daughter was the same age. We’ve watched their kids.

You can figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any really close friends? That’s a decent option and they would probably be willing for a ten year anniversary. Or could nanny do one overnight for a big premium? Otherwise, and realistically for most without family help, they probably don’t.

[Anonymous]

Go to an all inclusive that has kids camps. Although your youngest is too young- 2 was when we started going. The camps were so amazing my oldest begged for them. Cruises too have amazing camps.

[Anonymous]

Do you have close friends in other cities? You might fly there and have kids with two different families if yuh have a core group to ask. It might not be as exotic, but you’d get a few nights off.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't leave my kids with someone they don't know well, especially since they are slow to warm up. Go somewhere with a kid club.

Another option is you fly in family to watch kids for a weekend and also hire sitter to help out during the day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have not been away together in almost 5 years because we have no one to watch our kids. Kids are 4.5 and 1. Neither of our families live close and would not be able to do it regardless (age, health issues, etc). We have an amazing nanny but she can’t stay over nights or weekends because she has kids of her own she needs to care for. I have a couple Saturday night babysitters but don’t think I would trust them to watch the baby for a whole weekend and juggle two kids.

Is anyone else in this situation where you don’t have anyone to watch your kids? Do you somehow manage to still get away? Do you just hire a random sitter your kids don’t know well and hope for the best? My kids are slow to warm with new people so I would just feel so awful leaving them with someone they don’t know well.

Next year is our 10 year wedding anniversary and I really, really want a night away, but doesn’t look like it’s in the cards. And of course most of our friends have family help and are planning amazing trips for their anniversaries.

Poor little you! Millions of famalies are in the same boat. You have had more than ample time on 4.5 years to find a weekend Babysitter. Your problem and your fault.

[Anonymous]

Identify a sitter who is willing to do overnight/weekend stays with the kids. Begin using them for normal babysitting gigs to get the kids used to them and to build trust, if you don't like that person or trust them, begin again until you find someone. You have plenty of time to do this before your trip.

[Anonymous]

Do any of your friends have nannies? If so, use their nanny. Have them babysit first, of course, but that's better than someone who is just a "sitter." Seriously, you can figure it out. We always have.