Donor embryo vs donor eggs

[Anonymous]

Has anyone convinced their husband to go forward with donor embryo if there are no male factor issues. I feel like I want to "adopt" a child and really want to go the donor embryo route (vs donor egg). I need tips on how to talk about this to my husband. thank you!

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

FWIW, we have one DC and parent really well together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

okaaaayyy

[Anonymous]

Maybe some counseling? This is a big decision. You have no idea who the parents are in donor embryo. At least you know your baby will be half your DH. If you are not comfortable with that maybe you should stay with one and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some counseling? This is a big decision. You have no idea who the parents are in donor embryo. At least you know your baby will be half your DH. If you are not comfortable with that maybe you should stay with one and done.

especially considering that OP is apparently doing this as payback to her DH for a past offense (that wasn't even an offense) and not because she has some bona fide commitment to adopting an embryo or not using a donor ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some counseling? This is a big decision. You have no idea who the parents are in donor embryo. At least you know your baby will be half your DH. If you are not comfortable with that maybe you should stay with one and done.

But you have the same amount of information on a donor egg. And, typically, donor embryos are from couples that are more highly educated than donors of donor eggs. From my perspective I could be one and done, I just don't want DC to grow up without a sibling. Very important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

And your solution is to punish him by refusing to let him contribute genetic material to your child? You need to work out your anger before you have any more children, regardless of how they are conceived.

Also, I question whether you actually want a second child if you give up having one over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

And your solution is to punish him by refusing to let him contribute genetic material to your child? You need to work out your anger before you have any more children, regardless of how they are conceived.

Also, I question whether you actually want a second child if you give up having one over this.

I do not plan to give up having one. I would like to use donor embryo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

And your solution is to punish him by refusing to let him contribute genetic material to your child? You need to work out your anger before you have any more children, regardless of how they are conceived.

Also, I question whether you actually want a second child if you give up having one over this.

I do not plan to give up having one. I would like to use donor embryo.

And what if he won’t agree to that? Are you going to divorce him over it?

If so, again, you need to work out your anger. Probably with a professional therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

And your solution is to punish him by refusing to let him contribute genetic material to your child? You need to work out your anger before you have any more children, regardless of how they are conceived.

Also, I question whether you actually want a second child if you give up having one over this.

I am not punishing him. I do not like the dynamics. I believe there are a lot of women who feel this way and choose to adopt. I wanted to go the donor embryo route instead of adopting for a number of reasons including availability and the fact that I would control the pregnancy environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the kind of thing you can persuade another person to do. Sorry. All you can do is tell him how you feel and ask him. You won't be able to change his mind.

I am completely against donor egg, so it's either a donor embryo or nothing. I don't want to say this like that but I need some tips on discussing with him. How do you even open the conversation?

wow. I think if that's your way of thinking, then probably you're not cut out to coparent anyway.

Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it is his fault that we are in this situation. He would not move to get married and so my clock ran out. (Yes, there is a lot of anger still on this).

And your solution is to punish him by refusing to let him contribute genetic material to your child? You need to work out your anger before you have any more children, regardless of how they are conceived.

Also, I question whether you actually want a second child if you give up having one over this.

I am not punishing him. I do not like the dynamics. I believe there are a lot of women who feel this way and choose to adopt. I wanted to go the donor embryo route instead of adopting for a number of reasons including availability and the fact that I would control the pregnancy environment.

You said yourself that the only reason you won’t consider going with donor eggs and your DH’s sperm is because you’re angry that he delayed getting married and now you’re facing infertility.

You also said in an earlier post that it was donor embryo or no second child. I think you need to figure out how you really feel here, or you’re likely to find yourself in a situation where you end up with nothing.