“I never want you to go to work again”
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Anonymous
Said to me tearfully by my 3 year old as she went to sleep tonight.  What do you do with these comments? She is with a nanny during the day and has a wonderful time once I’m gone, but she’s really been having a hard time with the separation lately.
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Anonymous
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“Awww, I can tell you miss me when I am at work. I miss you too. I know it’s hard, but I have to work; it is not a choice. What can I do to make it better for you? An extra big hug when I get home?”
With an older child I would talk more about why you work, but with a theee-year-old I would just present it as non-negotiable. Affirm her feelings for sure—it is hard on her! That is totally normal. |
Anonymous
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I don’t even add that I have to work.
Have you asked why? The answer may surprise you and enable you to respond to her feelings. |
Anonymous
| But I have to go to work to pay the bills. Love you honey. Want to go to the park when I get home tomorrow? Is how I deal with it. |
Anonymous
| Thanks both! Yes I’ve asked why and she just says “I miss you, I want to stay with you.” And I try to affirm and say I miss her too (I do!), but it’s not sinking in it seems. I suppose it’s a phase as anything we have to ride out. Feels awful tho! |
Anonymous
| She's 3. They get a bit more aware now and actively miss you. Mine says that too and she has a great time all day with her friends in preschool. She has extra clingy days and days when it's all not about me and she doesn't notice if I'm there. |
Anonymous
| When mine went through that phase we talked about how we have to go to work to earn money, and the money we got pays for our home, the food we eat, and the toys they play with. We’d talk about how everyone has a job and their job was whatever chore they had at the time and preschool was their job. They loved preschool so we talked about the fun parts of work, and how it’s okay to miss each other, and we’d try to do something special when we were home. |
Anonymous
Quit and stay home with your child(ren). |
Anonymous
Same. |
Anonymous
OP ignore this troll! |
Anonymous
| Do you have to work? It’s ok to want to work also! But if you can find a way to make your child the bigger balance say part time. 3 days work 4 days child, you will have no regrets |
Anonymous
| Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day. |
Anonymous
NP here, I don't think that's a troll post. I'm not suggesting PP quit her job solely based on kid's comments/requests; but I don't think it's crazy to sit down and actually think about how that would affect your family. |
Anonymous
Except for the decline in pay, retirement savings, college savings and the like. And finding a Nanny who will work 3 days and not 5 is harder. OP we were lucky that this didn’t crop up until summer vacation after first grade. DS didn’t say anything but he was at a full time day care. Four days out of five he we be upset that it was time to go home and ask me to leave. He has friends from day care that he still plays with. Last summer he told me that he wishes I was still a teacher so I could be home on breaks with him. I like the idea of an occasional lunch date with your daughter. Could you work 4 nine hour days and be home early on Friday? Or even 8.5 hour days? DS has asked at various times why we work and we tell him it pays for the house, clothes, and food. At 6 I started including the concept of saving for retirement and college because he had started saving for a big toy. |
Anonymous
| Just ignore. If it were up to your toddler, you’d never leave the house. |