“I never want you to go to work again”

[Anonymous]

*Not (not note)

[Anonymous]

Do you complain about work and about going to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore. If it were up to your toddler, you’d never leave the house.

+1

I also know it’s hard to hear those words but this is so temporary and they don’t mean anything they’re saying. BTW my kids are now in elementary school and when they see a woman who doesn’t work they say “what does she do all day?”

My sons friends were surprised that he had to go to camp this summer because I work. I am home in time to pick him up from school so his friends thought I stayed at home like their Moms. It made us all chuckle.

Curious - why did you all chuckle at the thought you might 'gasp' be a stay at home parent?

Because none of the adults thought about how the kids perceived our roles. My group of friends is a mix of working and SAHM. A good number of the working parents have flexed their schedules so they can be home after school. I talk with this group while we wait for the kids. I doubt that my son thought about who of his friends parents stay at home and who work until his classmates started talking about summer plans. Then he knew that some of his friends stayed home with a parent and others went to camp. Some of his friends stay home with a parent who is a teacher.

We chuckled because we had not thought that each other kids probably assumed that the other kids parents worked, if their parent was a working parent, or stayed at home, if their parent stayed at home. It was more a revelation to us about how our kids were processing the world about them. No one had made mention that so and sos parent worked or stayed at home because it wasn't important. This is the time that DS told me he wished I still taught so he could spend the summer home with me like his friends did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spend more special time with your child.

I said this to my mom when I was a kid, and it was ignored. Looking back I think I was trying to say, "I need more time with you," and not necessarily that I needed out entire lives to change (which they would have if she'd quit her job).

I now SAH (a decision definitely tied to my experiences as a kid not getting enough time with my mom!) and our kids will sometimes say they wish DH didn't have to go to work either! We just take it as a sign they need more special, one-on-one bonding time with him, and usually after a couple weeks of more quality time, the complaints subside.

This is definitely it, but! It seems to be worse after we’ve been together a lot, ie we had all last week together for the thanksgiving break and so Monday-Tuesday this week have been rough getting back into the routine. I told her it’s hard for me too (because it is! I do miss her!). I’m going to take this Friday morning off to take her to a special yoga class anyway though. Sorry for this hard experience growing up! Sounds so rough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore. If it were up to your toddler, you’d never leave the house.

+1

I also know it’s hard to hear those words but this is so temporary and they don’t mean anything they’re saying. BTW my kids are now in elementary school and when they see a woman who doesn’t work they say “what does she do all day?”

My sons friends were surprised that he had to go to camp this summer because I work. I am home in time to pick him up from school so his friends thought I stayed at home like their Moms. It made us all chuckle.

Curious - why did you all chuckle at the thought you might 'gasp' be a stay at home parent?

Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

[Anonymous]

When I was 4 I asked my dad what he did when he went to work and he said "make money". I thought he stood in front of a big machine painted bright red and it spewed out dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

Um no. People are being polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

Um no. People are being polite.

Don't speak for other people or make broad judgments juts because you're a misanthrope. Perhaps you're being polite but I genuinely like when colleagues bring their babies and kids. I keep stickers in a drawer for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

Um no. People are being polite.

Don't speak for other people or make broad judgments juts because you're a misanthrope. Perhaps you're being polite but I genuinely like when colleagues bring their babies and kids. I keep stickers in a drawer for them.

Ok well I dislike it and it is disruptive. And I am the type of person who has a lot of sympathy for kids on planes, restaurants, public spaces in general. I believe kids should be in public space. They are humans and people. But they do not belong in an adult working environment regularly. It is disruptive and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spend more special time with your child.

I said this to my mom when I was a kid, and it was ignored. Looking back I think I was trying to say, "I need more time with you," and not necessarily that I needed out entire lives to change (which they would have if she'd quit her job).

I now SAH (a decision definitely tied to my experiences as a kid not getting enough time with my mom!) and our kids will sometimes say they wish DH didn't have to go to work either! We just take it as a sign they need more special, one-on-one bonding time with him, and usually after a couple weeks of more quality time, the complaints subside.

This is definitely it, but! It seems to be worse after we’ve been together a lot, ie we had all last week together for the thanksgiving break and so Monday-Tuesday this week have been rough getting back into the routine. I told her it’s hard for me too (because it is! I do miss her!). I’m going to take this Friday morning off to take her to a special yoga class anyway though. Sorry for this hard experience growing up! Sounds so rough.

Same for us, OP. It's always harder when they go back after a longer stretch of family time. I get it, it's harder for me, too! Kids thrive on routine (adults do, too), so when it changes they want the new routine to stick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

Um no. People are being polite.

Um, you have no idea where I work or with whom I work. Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

Um no. People are being polite.

Don't speak for other people or make broad judgments juts because you're a misanthrope. Perhaps you're being polite but I genuinely like when colleagues bring their babies and kids. I keep stickers in a drawer for them.

Ok well I dislike it and it is disruptive. And I am the type of person who has a lot of sympathy for kids on planes, restaurants, public spaces in general. I believe kids should be in public space. They are humans and people. But they do not belong in an adult working environment regularly. It is disruptive and annoying.

Well, not everyone is like you. I LOVE it when colleagues bring kids in the office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

Depends on the office. In mine, they would be welcomed.

Um no. People are being polite.

Don't speak for other people or make broad judgments juts because you're a misanthrope. Perhaps you're being polite but I genuinely like when colleagues bring their babies and kids. I keep stickers in a drawer for them.

Ok well I dislike it and it is disruptive. And I am the type of person who has a lot of sympathy for kids on planes, restaurants, public spaces in general. I believe kids should be in public space. They are humans and people. But they do not belong in an adult working environment regularly. It is disruptive and annoying.

Well, not everyone is like you. I LOVE it when colleagues bring kids in the office.

Right - and everyone is not like you either. So, just because some people delight in having kids at the office, others don't. And since it is de facto a professional space, you shouldn't bring your kids there because some people don't like it. Why is it hard for you to understand that just because you enjoy something, it might not be appropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Have nanny and DD come meet you for lunch at work once a month. This has helped a lot of my charges because they can visualize where their parent is during the day.

Please, please do note tote your children to the office once a month. One visit to the office one time might be ok so the child has an opportunity to visualize where the parent works, but no one wants to see your kids in the office once a month. But once a month is ridiculous, distracting for your co-workers, and completely unprofessional.

She's suggesting bringing her to work to meet for lunch, not spend the whole day there. I'm assuming they're eating at a restaurant.