elder care versus childcare

[Anonymous]

As someone who was my father's caregiver in my late 20's for 3 years before he died---I found it very challenging. Work places and my social circles solely conceptualized caregiving as being a parent--and it was very child-centered. Not so much with a elderly, terminal father in mind.

Now that I'm 35, and I have kids----I honestly find it a breeze compared to caring for an elderly parent. I find it hard to relate to my peers because I just feel like figuring out logistics surrounding childcare is just more solvable and there are far more resources. For instance, last week, sitter was sick--I brought my daughter in to work and had her watch an ipad movie with headphones. I could never do that with my father in the height of his Parkisnons.

I am writing because I never really know where to fit in---and you all are just great resources and I thank you

[Anonymous]

Parenting is so much easier than elderly care. Not even a comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenting is so much easier than elderly care. Not even a comparison.

+1. OP it sounds like maybe you just don't have the patience for your 30 something friends and their day to day parenting struggles because you had an intense eldercare experience while you were relatively young. That is a very valid feeling. Parents lose milestones while kids gain them.

[Anonymous]

+1 !!!

[Anonymous]

Yes!!!! I totally agree. I have a mom with Alzheimer's who is in her early 70s and two elementary school kids. Dealing with my kids (even as toddlers) was/is soooo much easier than dealing with my mom. There is no such thing as natural consequences with someone who has no short-term memory. And I find it so much less rewarding because no matter what we do she will continue to get worse. Plus there are a million classes/day cares for little kids. My mom needs activities/adult daycare for people with early stage Alzheimer's and there are very few out there.

[Anonymous]

Same experience. I will be but here... With my kids each day they get a little bit easier. Even the baby. Every day is a step towards more independence. Elder care is the opposite ..each day is a step closer to the end. And the end...well the end gets UGLY. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same experience. I will be but here... With my kids each day they get a little bit easier. Even the baby. Every day is a step towards more independence. Elder care is the opposite ..each day is a step closer to the end. And the end...well the end gets UGLY. BTDT.

BLUNT***

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes!!!! I totally agree. I have a mom with Alzheimer's who is in her early 70s and two elementary school kids. Dealing with my kids (even as toddlers) was/is soooo much easier than dealing with my mom. There is no such thing as natural consequences with someone who has no short-term memory. And I find it so much less rewarding because no matter what we do she will continue to get worse. Plus there are a million classes/day cares for little kids. My mom needs activities/adult daycare for people with early stage Alzheimer's and there are very few out there.

You have a lot on your plate. Does your mom live with you? Does she qualify for a nursing home?

[Anonymous]

The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

Most employers don’t recognize employees take care of children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

Neither should be "accommodated."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

No, it is very different, especially with dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

Not really. There is no reward in elder care - they die instead of growing up. It is so depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

Neither should be "accommodated."

So people with a terminally ill parent should just not make a living anymore????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The are very similar--it's about time employers recognize it too and accommodate those that take care of elderly.

Most employers don’t recognize employees take care of children!

relatively speaking, getting an employer to understand kids is *much* more straightforward than elderly parents. both need improvement, but relatively speaking, its been easier for me to navigate life as a woarking mom vs caregiver to elderly parent