Don’t love our new nanny

[Anonymous]

We have had our new nanny for 2 months now and while we loved her when we met/interviewed her, she has been ok at best since she started. The biggest issue is that she hasn’t really bonded with my kids, ages 5 and 1 and does not seem as warm and nurturing as we had hoped/wanted. The younger one gets upset every morning when DH and I leave for work - which did not happen ever with our old nanny who was with us for 4 years. The older one is kind of indifferent to her and says “she is kind of nice but not very fun”. I have worked from home to see her in action a few times and it seems like she just doesn’t try all that hard and doesn’t always engage them a ton. She is a bit quiet and for example sits near the younger one while he plays but doesn’t play “with” him a ton. I also gave her a list of friends’ nannies with kids around his age for playdates and she has not reached out to a single one. I suggested checking out story time at the library but she has never done that either. They mostly seem to stay at home or go for a walk around the block in the neighborhood.

I am not sure she is really the best fit for our family at this point and maybe we need to look for someone else - we want someone long term and I just don’t think it’s her. But at the same time we feel bad because she is not a bad nanny at all and has amazing past experience... she just isn’t what we thought she was.

Has anyone else hired the wrong nanny before and replaced them? Was it really horrible? Would you recommend we explore other options?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t worry about making a change. She sounds like a great nanny for an infant, but not right for you.

[Anonymous]

I would most certainly look for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Sorry, for me that wouldn't be enough. There are plenty of other women available who put more effort into the job. I would give her plenty of notice, but would also start looking. Maybe have a 3 month employement review, OP? Maybe she's not happy either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Not even close to being enough for me and my children. I want (and have) a nanny who is engaging, playful, happy, and loving. If I just wanted them to be alive when I got home, I’d send them to daycare.

[Anonymous]

Start the search for a new nanny. The nanny you hired simply isn’t the right fit for your kids. The sooner you replace her, the better for everyone including the nanny.

[Anonymous]

The problem, or the good thing, depending on how you look at it on the nanny does not know how to "turn it on" when you are there. I'm a SAHM who other names often mistake as a nanny, and it's shocking when they let their guard down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Not even close to being enough for me and my children. I want (and have) a nanny who is engaging, playful, happy, and loving. If I just wanted them to be alive when I got home, I’d send them to daycare.

Having a nanny isn’t always better than day care but keep telling yourself that. You want your kids to have socialization. Day care is better for that and will prepare your oldest for school.

[Anonymous]

OP, replacing her entirely depends on who your other choices are. That's it. You are entitled to a preference, a preference to look for someone else. But all that matters is if you find someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Not even close to being enough for me and my children. I want (and have) a nanny who is engaging, playful, happy, and loving. If I just wanted them to be alive when I got home, I’d send them to daycare.

Having a nanny isn’t always better than day care but keep telling yourself that. You want your kids to have socialization. Day care is better for that and will prepare your oldest for school.

Depends on what the nanny does with the child, whether the child goes to preschool before kinder, whether the parents agree with activities that are more structured or just fun/movement, etc. Great nanny > great daycare > okay daycare > okay nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Not even close to being enough for me and my children. I want (and have) a nanny who is engaging, playful, happy, and loving. If I just wanted them to be alive when I got home, I’d send them to daycare.

Having a nanny isn’t always better than day care but keep telling yourself that. You want your kids to have socialization. Day care is better for that and will prepare your oldest for school.

Depends on what the nanny does with the child, whether the child goes to preschool before kinder, whether the parents agree with activities that are more structured or just fun/movement, etc. Great nanny > great daycare > okay daycare > okay nanny.

Or, one could argue how selfish op is and should be a Sahm and raise her kids vs pawning them off on someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Not even close to being enough for me and my children. I want (and have) a nanny who is engaging, playful, happy, and loving. If I just wanted them to be alive when I got home, I’d send them to daycare.

Have you always been a skank b*tch or did you become one recently?

Stop embarrassing yourself, PP.

[Anonymous]

I would look for another nanny. Don’t worry about her— a nanny with good references always finds a job quickly. That everyone is so unenthusiastic at a this early date means it’s not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents bond, nannies are caretakers. She sounds good if she's supervising and keeping them safe.

Not even close to being enough for me and my children. I want (and have) a nanny who is engaging, playful, happy, and loving. If I just wanted them to be alive when I got home, I’d send them to daycare.

Having a nanny isn’t always better than day care but keep telling yourself that. You want your kids to have socialization. Day care is better for that and will prepare your oldest for school.

Having a great nanny is better than the best daycare. A great nanny can do everything a great daycare can do plus lots of extras - extra attention, extra reading, extra play, homemade food, quiet home environment, etc. There are ample opportunities for a great nanny to socialize your child in play groups, play dates, storytimes, even just the park without your baby forced to listen to other screaming babies and teething toddlers. This is just a fact, PP, not an opinion. A ghost educated and experienced nanny has a better skill set than even most parents.

That said - if you cannot find it afford a great nanny, a great daycare beats a bad or mediocre nanny hands down.