Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker

[Anonymous]

I have come upcoming work travel tips with a male colleague (I'm female, and we're both in heterosexual marriages).

He's a nice guy whose work I respect, and we get along well, so no worries there. We will likely be staying at the same hotel. My question is-- after we finish our work duties, are we supposed to have dinner together, or do you go your separate ways? All of my previous travel has been solo, so I'm clueless. My preference would be to do my own thing, but if it's the norm to have dinner together and discuss work functions, that's fine too-- I just worry that a one-on-one dinner could be awkward, I guess it's been a long time since I've gone to a one-on-one dinner with a man who wasn't DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have come upcoming work travel tips with a male colleague (I'm female, and we're both in heterosexual marriages).

He's a nice guy whose work I respect, and we get along well, so no worries there. We will likely be staying at the same hotel. My question is-- after we finish our work duties, are we supposed to have dinner together, or do you go your separate ways? All of my previous travel has been solo, so I'm clueless. My preference would be to do my own thing, but if it's the norm to have dinner together and discuss work functions, that's fine too-- I just worry that a one-on-one dinner could be awkward, I guess it's been a long time since I've gone to a one-on-one dinner with a man who wasn't DH.

OP here, that's supposed to read trips.

[Anonymous]

I used to travel for work extensively and never had an issue traveling with a male colleague. Dinner would be at the hotel restaurant or someplace similar. I don’t think it has to be awkward as long as you stay professional.

[Anonymous]

It really varies based on the people and circumstances. If it is one night, I would say most folks would do dinner together, unless someone has a specific reason not to such as visiting friends/family in the city. If it is a longer trip, it wouldn't be unusual to do a mix.

[Anonymous]

I usually have dinner with client, or the coworker especially if there’s still prep to do for the next day or debrief from earlier. But if the work was done I wouldn’t hesitate to say “Ok if I get room service? I’m beat” in most cases except for with my (same gender) boss because she’s super social and I know she’d be hurt.

I am totally comfortable traveling with male married colleagues (I’m also married) but I probably wouldn’t use one of our rooms to meet in, I’d use the lobby. Unless someone has a suite for that purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to travel for work extensively and never had an issue traveling with a male colleague. Dinner would be at the hotel restaurant or someplace similar. I don’t think it has to be awkward as long as you stay professional.

Same. I travel 250+ nights of the year for work (woman) and I go out with my male colleagues all the time. Sometimes as a group, often alone. I've made great friends this way, and never had a problem. The skeevy ones are weeded out quickly, like VERY quickly by me and usually more people, but see no problem with having close friendships and traveling with members of the opposite sex . My partner is often even like, "sounds like a rough day, hope dinner is nice! Are you at least out with Zach? You guys doing the hotel bar thing with a caesar salad or blowing your Amex Platinum loads somewhere nice? '

I will say, not a perfect couple by any means, but jealousy and fidelity aren't something we struggle with in the least, so I am an optimist in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Unless your co-worker acts unprofessional you just do the same thing you would if he was a she

[Anonymous]

I get why it would be a little uncomfortable if it's not the norm. Whenever this has popped up, I usually go to a sports bar (or a place with a television showing sports). It's casual and can't be mistaken for romantic in any way.

[Anonymous]

"You want to grab a bite later?" Go have quick dinner but no drinks (unless you two want to have some FUN).

[Anonymous]

Have worked in predominantly male environments for over 20 years. Agree with PP---you can tell the skeevy ones pretty quick. Otherwise have always had dinners/lunches with male co-workers. Sports, travel, movies. All safe and easy topics. Also, talking about kids. Not necessarily wives because you don't want to open a door to a guy complaining about how a wife doesn't understand him---unless he is obviously happily married and likes to talk about his wife and how they met, places they've been, etc. But always safe to ask about kids. And even guys that might lean to the predatory will find it hard to find an opening when you keep them talking about their kid's little league game.

[Anonymous]

I think YOU are making something out of nothing. It’s not a date. Just a dinner. Eat, small talks, pay for your meal and go back.

[Anonymous]

Just make sure your private area doesn’t fall on his private area and I think you’re good.

In all honesty do you have any male friends? It’s no different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure your private area doesn’t fall on his private area and I think you’re good.

In all honesty do you have any male friends? It’s no different.

Guessing that’s a no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think YOU are making something out of nothing. It’s not a date. Just a dinner. Eat, small talks, pay for your meal and go back.

^ this. Don't get weird, and it won't get weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think YOU are making something out of nothing. It’s not a date. Just a dinner. Eat, small talks, pay for your meal and go back.

+1 This a totally normal thing that should not even be a blip on the radar. If it is, then maybe your spidey senses have been triggered, and you should pay attention to that and have an exit strategy.