Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think YOU are making something out of nothing. It’s not a date. Just a dinner. Eat, small talks, pay for your meal and go back.

^ this. Don't get weird, and it won't get weird.

Yup. I don't understand why some people have to inject *SEX* into innocuous situations.

[Anonymous]

As a male, I no longer will do dinner with a female colleague. I know it's not fair, but it's been indirectly told to us, "in today's times" to just not do it. I think it's awful but it's the new trend I am seeing in corporate.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're overthinking it.

I often like to eat alone after a busy work day on the road. In that case, I just say, "I'm going to grab something to eat in my room. See you tomorrow."

Otherwise, if I still have some energy AND I like the coworker (as a person), then I'll just say, "What are you thinking for dinner?"

I hate traveling with people who want to sit next to me on the plane and try to agree on a time to meet for breakfast and dinner. Chill. I want to watch Netflix in my underwear in the room or at least not have to make polite conversation for an extra two hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a male, I no longer will do dinner with a female colleague. I know it's not fair, but it's been indirectly told to us, "in today's times" to just not do it. I think it's awful but it's the new trend I am seeing in corporate.

This "new trend" is straight up sexism and it is some serious BS that you are blaming it on "today's times" and advice that's "been indirectly told to us" rather than taking responsibility for your own decisions. You should treat your female colleagues the same way you would treat your male colleagues.

[Anonymous]

Is your name Mike Pence?

[Anonymous]

After working all day with a coworker, I’d rather have a nice dinner solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a male, I no longer will do dinner with a female colleague. I know it's not fair, but it's been indirectly told to us, "in today's times" to just not do it. I think it's awful but it's the new trend I am seeing in corporate.

Same. I totally agree. If you are a male, it is a very bad a idea in #metoo today's times to have one on one dinner/lunch with female coworkers. If you are in position of authority, I forbid you to put yourself in that situation. You have too much to lose. Be smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have come upcoming work travel tips with a male colleague (I'm female, and we're both in heterosexual marriages).

He's a nice guy whose work I respect, and we get along well, so no worries there. We will likely be staying at the same hotel. My question is-- after we finish our work duties, are we supposed to have dinner together, or do you go your separate ways? All of my previous travel has been solo, so I'm clueless. My preference would be to do my own thing, but if it's the norm to have dinner together and discuss work functions, that's fine too-- I just worry that a one-on-one dinner could be awkward, I guess it's been a long time since I've gone to a one-on-one dinner with a man who wasn't DH.

Is he trans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have come upcoming work travel tips with a male colleague (I'm female, and we're both in heterosexual marriages).

He's a nice guy whose work I respect, and we get along well, so no worries there. We will likely be staying at the same hotel. My question is-- after we finish our work duties, are we supposed to have dinner together, or do you go your separate ways? All of my previous travel has been solo, so I'm clueless. My preference would be to do my own thing, but if it's the norm to have dinner together and discuss work functions, that's fine too-- I just worry that a one-on-one dinner could be awkward, I guess it's been a long time since I've gone to a one-on-one dinner with a man who wasn't DH.

I think that you are nervous about the trip because you have a crush on your male colleague. Maybe he is a hot guy and you think that something could happen between you during this trip.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been single for over a decade so I’ve learned that I just put on a ‘nun’ persona; just like it would in the office, at work at parties full of married people and any kind of one on one.

[Anonymous]

I can think of 4 times I traveled with just one male colleague (I’m female). I don’t travel a ton and the other times there were a few of us traveling. We did tend to grab dinner but it was also fine to bow out. On one of these trips it was actually two male colleagues and me but the other man didn’t want to go out at the end of the day. In all 3 cases the men were my bosses.

In one case - man and I were similar ages and chatted about our kids. He knew I was pregnant and was super considerate about picking restaurants (ie saying he didn’t like sushi when a client recommended it). Most our dinners were alone and we traveled for a week.

In one case the man was my supervisor on a very quick project and had planned to retire but stayed on a bit longer. He was at least 30 years older than I am and I’m guessing 30. We went out 3 nights and all were fun - I was new and really liked hearing about his career. One night we ate a cuisine I’d never tried and he ended up ordering for both of us and then, when our food arrived, asked if he could try some of mine and offered me some of his which felt a bit unusual and I chuckled about later.

In one I didn’t generally get along well with my boss but we actually traveled / did dinners okay together (again, discussed kids, interesting books...)

Finally on one trip I was pretty good friends with my boss. I had been to the city before and recommended a Mexican restaurant where my husband and I had eaten previously. Because we’d eaten on the patio I had no idea inside it was white tablecloths and candlelight! We were good enough friends (and both happily married) we got a good laugh over that - the next night we stuck to burgers and fries.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. That should say “guessing 40”

[Anonymous]

Treat it like a date:

Dress up cute but not slutty for dinner. Show some cleavage.

Three drink minimum

Be flirty but let him take the lead

Try to steer the convo to issues he's had with his wife so he can view you as an escape from that

Go as late as possible to dinner so when they're closing up you can say "wanna take the drinks back up to my place?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think YOU are making something out of nothing. It’s not a date. Just a dinner. Eat, small talks, pay for your meal and go back.

^ this. Don't get weird, and it won't get weird.

Yup. I don't understand why some people have to inject *SEX* into innocuous situations.

It’s there, just below the surface. I’m a happily married DW and work with plenty of happily married DHs, but being alone with them just shifts the dynamic a bit. At least for me.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the purpose of the trip, and whether one of you knows the city. if you have to prep for a meeting, or collaborate on a work product, or discuss strategy, then have a working dinner at the hotel bar or restaurant.

If one of you really knows the city/a decent place to eat, then by all means say "hey, i'm hitting up $restaurant at 7pm, you interested?"

If you are really just done with people-ing, then say "man, i'm travel-lagged! going to just get room service. meet you in the lobby at 9 tomorrow?"

i've traveled with people i barely exchanged two words with, and folks i have had great dinner with. i try to avoid getting drunk with coworkers. i don't share my room number.