How often do you go away without your kids?

[Anonymous]

Feeling very jealous because in our circle of friends every single other couple has family who watches their children at least once a year so the parents can go on a child free vacation. At first it was a long weekend here and there, but now it has morphed into full weeks away. And most of the family isn’t even local but they come to town specifically to help. I desperately want to go away with DH for our 10 year anniversary next year but don’t know how we can make it happen since we don’t have family to help and it’s not like I can just hire a random sitter to watch my kids (they are 6 and 2).

DH’s parents offer to help on occasion but they aren’t in the best shape healthwise so two kids would be too much for them, especially since my FIL is super old school and does nothing to help ever. When my MIL babysat the kids for one afternoon she was exhausted so I can’t imagine her making it a whole weekend on her own. My parents have never offered and when we have broached the subject they say they aren’t comfortable doing it.

Do you go away without your kids and if so, who watches them? Are there others like us who literally haven’t been away together for years??

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

One a year normally for a weekend but every couple years we go away for 3-5 nights for a big anniversary or birthday. My parents always watch. We have friends who have traded weekends with other friends so each couple could go away. Helps if the kids are close in age and good friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeling very jealous because in our circle of friends every single other couple has family who watches their children at least once a year so the parents can go on a child free vacation. At first it was a long weekend here and there, but now it has morphed into full weeks away. And most of the family isn’t even local but they come to town specifically to help. I desperately want to go away with DH for our 10 year anniversary next year but don’t know how we can make it happen since we don’t have family to help and it’s not like I can just hire a random sitter to watch my kids (they are 6 and 2).

DH’s parents offer to help on occasion but they aren’t in the best shape healthwise so two kids would be too much for them, especially since my FIL is super old school and does nothing to help ever. When my MIL babysat the kids for one afternoon she was exhausted so I can’t imagine her making it a whole weekend on her own. My parents have never offered and when we have broached the subject they say they aren’t comfortable doing it.

Do you go away without your kids and if so, who watches them? Are there others like us who literally haven’t been away together for years??

You’re not alone. We are in the same boat. We have never been away more than one night. And even being away one night is very seldom. We did one night on our ten year anniversary. We have never had a week long vacation without kids.

[Anonymous]

Oldest is 13, we have never been away.

[Anonymous]

3 nights total (over two separate trips) in 5 years. One to visit ailing relative cross-country, one for a wedding but were only gone for about 30 hours total on that one.

[Anonymous]

Rarely. Prefer vacays with DH and kids. Have gone away two times left kids with DH to vacay with sis, Mom, etc. a weekend or two away with DH while Mom watched kids. Eldest 18 and launched, Mom has passed away. DH and I happily married. Youngest still at home. Many great vacations as a family, best memories.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are 5 & 10. How often is never. With limited vacation time, we prioritize family trips.
My parents didn’t ever travel without kids until we were around high school age (& really only then because of logistics). They’ve been happily married for >45 years, so it obviously didn’t hurt their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Do you have siblings or close cousins? Someone who could watch for a long weekend? Maybe you fly with the kids to them and then take vacation on that location

[Anonymous]

Never. I have a 13 month old and just wouldn’t have fun without him.

[Anonymous]

No. We really, really like our kids. We bring our nanny with us on vacations though, to get nights out while on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We found professionalismsitters and used them for two nights for our anniversaries every year for several years.

It isn't rocket science. Hire someone's nanny. Bring on your parents but them hire a person to be there during the day so they don't get worn out. Doesn't your 6 year old have friends? Their parents could help.So many options.

[Anonymous]

Get babysitters to help your in-laws watch your kids while you go away.

[Anonymous]

Twice she’s stayed with my parents for a week, but I was on a work trip, not vacation. We’ve been hoping to take an anniversary trip next year, and for that she’d stay with my parents again. Her favorite cousins live with my parents, so she loves visiting. I have zero worries about her staying there for long periods. She’d stay more often if we lived closer.

[Anonymous]

DD s nearly 4. We have done long weekends away 3 or 4 times in the past 3 years. Never been gone longer than 3 nights, and never farther away than a 4 hour drive. My parents have watched her for us each time. They've pushed for us to take a longer trip, but I'm not comfortable with that.