How often do you go away without your kids?

[Anonymous]

Never in ten years. Grandparents will never be an option. Only opportunity for us will be sleep away camp in future years.

[Anonymous]

Four times in 19 years. Longest was for 4 days.

[Anonymous]

We do at least two weeks in Europe during the Fall sans kids, plus four or five days in the Caribbean in Spring and another week in Colombia to see family at some point during the year. The kids stay with Nanny on those occasions. We will usually do a two week family trip with al of us in Summer somewhere different, most recently African Safari and Southeast Asia, and a big ski trip out West or Switzerland at Christmas. The Nanny comes with us on those trips. Plus we do another week in Colomvia as a family for Easter Break, and kids spend at least a month there on their own at various points during their breaks which we use to visit NYC, Napa, or similar, and Nanny returns home for her leave then. It works pretty well for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeling very jealous because in our circle of friends every single other couple has family who watches their children at least once a year so the parents can go on a child free vacation. At first it was a long weekend here and there, but now it has morphed into full weeks away. And most of the family isn’t even local but they come to town specifically to help. I desperately want to go away with DH for our 10 year anniversary next year but don’t know how we can make it happen since we don’t have family to help and it’s not like I can just hire a random sitter to watch my kids (they are 6 and 2).

DH’s parents offer to help on occasion but they aren’t in the best shape healthwise so two kids would be too much for them, especially since my FIL is super old school and does nothing to help ever. When my MIL babysat the kids for one afternoon she was exhausted so I can’t imagine her making it a whole weekend on her own. My parents have never offered and when we have broached the subject they say they aren’t comfortable doing it.

Do you go away without your kids and if so, who watches them? Are there others like us who literally haven’t been away together for years??

Ugh! Such helicopter parents who are helping their grown ass kids with childcare. I pity these friends of yours who are such immature imbecile and are incapable of doing the adulting themselves.

OP, you should feel proud of how you can do it alone.

[Anonymous]

Never. No family nearby and I don't feel comfortable leaving with other people. And if we go away for work or weekend away, usually one parent is home. I enjoy vacationing with my children.

I have a mild fear of something happening (natural disaster or whatever) and if I couldn't get home to my kids, I would be a mess. Too many end of the world movies.

[Anonymous]

I'm single, so I go away for maybe 3 weekends or long weekends per year without my daughter. I could also theoretically take a longer trip when she's with her dad for summer vacation, but usually I just chill here. When I'm away, she's with dad. (or at sleepaway camp now that she is old enough.)

Maybe you could have your in-laws come to visit and hire babysitters to help them out during the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeling very jealous because in our circle of friends every single other couple has family who watches their children at least once a year so the parents can go on a child free vacation. At first it was a long weekend here and there, but now it has morphed into full weeks away. And most of the family isn’t even local but they come to town specifically to help. I desperately want to go away with DH for our 10 year anniversary next year but don’t know how we can make it happen since we don’t have family to help and it’s not like I can just hire a random sitter to watch my kids (they are 6 and 2).

DH’s parents offer to help on occasion but they aren’t in the best shape healthwise so two kids would be too much for them, especially since my FIL is super old school and does nothing to help ever. When my MIL babysat the kids for one afternoon she was exhausted so I can’t imagine her making it a whole weekend on her own. My parents have never offered and when we have broached the subject they say they aren’t comfortable doing it.

Do you go away without your kids and if so, who watches them? Are there others like us who literally haven’t been away together for years??

Ugh! Such helicopter parents who are helping their grown ass kids with childcare. I pity these friends of yours who are such immature imbecile and are incapable of doing the adulting themselves.

OP, you should feel proud of how you can do it alone.

What?? The grandparents are doing it to bond independently with the grandkids. It's not about being a helicopter parent to grown adult kids. I had wonderful relationships with my grandparents because of the weeks I spent with them during the summers. My parents were working (no kid free vacations for them). But they did it for ME, the kid, to have summers in the countryside and to bond, not because they needed childcare (since in those days, latchkey kids were the norm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get babysitters to help your in-laws watch your kids while you go away.

It doesn't sound as though the in-laws are interested in babysitting. Listen up, people, FAMILY IS NOT YOUR FREE CHILD CARE.

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. We don’t have family close by but we fly my parents in. When there was just one we went away a lot - probably 4-5 times a year during the first 2 years. Since the younger was born we’ve gone away twice - once for a wedding and once for a birthday trip. I would guess from here on out we will average 3 weekends away per year. Nothing longer than a long weekend at this point.

[Anonymous]

Nanny and/or in-laws. Mine live four hours away but will come to town with notice. My family lives on the West Coast and we've never left the kids with them. Have you ever considered having them stay with friends? I was an only child and I sometimes stayed with friends for a few days if my parents went away. Our friends do the same, we just haven't done it since we have other options. I always thought it was super fun.

[Anonymous]

I guess you guys don't travel for work? We do, and most of our friends do (both husbands and wives), so we've been forced to come up with solutions when we both have to be out of town at the same time. We try not to plan trips like that, and my trips are generally always planned out in advance and with my consent, but my husband's job can have emergencies pop up so sometimes we've both been gone at the same time. It's not ideal but it's always worked out. If family can't come then we use our nanny or sitter or friends. Our friends do the same. Some have nannies like we do, others don't. Some have local family, others don't. If there's a will there's a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A couple times a year. We chose to move out of DC to where I grew up to be near my mom and siblings. (We always knew DH’s parents and siblings would be minimally involved and just appreciate a once a year get together with them.) We sacrificed a lot to move but decided that it was something we’d do before we even had kids because we knew having family support would make life infinitely easier.

If family isn’t an option then you have to build it locally. Close friends or find a regular, reliable sitter who you can build a long-term relationship with and use for annual getaways. Even just a long weekend is better than nothing.

You have friends willing to watch your kids for a week?! Damn

NP, but I do. We have a very close network of friends in our neighborhood and we all have had other kids stay at our house. They all go to the same school (private, so it doesn't matter if they're elementary versus middle), so it's not a big deal taking them and picking them up. And really, it's not that much harder to have another kid or two for a few days. They're all four and up, so it would be different if someone wanted us to watch a baby that didn't sleep through the night or something, but adding another first grader is actually just kind of fun for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeling very jealous because in our circle of friends every single other couple has family who watches their children at least once a year so the parents can go on a child free vacation. At first it was a long weekend here and there, but now it has morphed into full weeks away. And most of the family isn’t even local but they come to town specifically to help. I desperately want to go away with DH for our 10 year anniversary next year but don’t know how we can make it happen since we don’t have family to help and it’s not like I can just hire a random sitter to watch my kids (they are 6 and 2).

DH’s parents offer to help on occasion but they aren’t in the best shape healthwise so two kids would be too much for them, especially since my FIL is super old school and does nothing to help ever. When my MIL babysat the kids for one afternoon she was exhausted so I can’t imagine her making it a whole weekend on her own. My parents have never offered and when we have broached the subject they say they aren’t comfortable doing it.

Do you go away without your kids and if so, who watches them? Are there others like us who literally haven’t been away together for years??

Ugh! Such helicopter parents who are helping their grown ass kids with childcare. I pity these friends of yours who are such immature imbecile and are incapable of doing the adulting themselves.

OP, you should feel proud of how you can do it alone.

This is the weirdest thing I've ever read on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleepaway camp. We do have local family, but for a combination of reasons, they don't babysit so we dropped off at sleepaway camp and then headed out on our own vacation.

We've used sleep-away camp for getting away as well, but it's important to have someone within driving distance if you are flying, just in case of emergency. I've known several families who have had to pick up their kids from camp unexpectedly (medical, kid can't handle it, behavioral issues) - you don't want to be so far away that you (or a trusted friend or relative) can't come at the drop of the hat.