How often do you go away without your kids?

[Anonymous]

Oldest of three kids is 12, and we've gotten away about ten times ranging from a weekend to 4-5 nights usually. My parents watch the kids. We went away a week for a milestone anniversary, that was our longest period away - but don't plan on going away without the kids going forward. They are all at fun, travel-friendly ages now so unless we have a destination wedding or some reason not to bring them, at this point we enjoy traveling as a family, sometimes using a resort with a kids club. We enjoyed the kid free getaways more when they were all preschool/toddlers and needed the escape!

[Anonymous]

We have gone away for a week just the two of us every year since our oldest was one (now 12 and 9). They stay at my parents. They would go for that week at my parents even if we weren't going away.

As your kids get older, they may also go away to a sleepaway camp, which would give you some time to get away...

[Anonymous]

Sleepaway camp. We do have local family, but for a combination of reasons, they don't babysit so we dropped off at sleepaway camp and then headed out on our own vacation.

[Anonymous]

A couple times a year. We chose to move out of DC to where I grew up to be near my mom and siblings. (We always knew DH’s parents and siblings would be minimally involved and just appreciate a once a year get together with them.) We sacrificed a lot to move but decided that it was something we’d do before we even had kids because we knew having family support would make life infinitely easier.

If family isn’t an option then you have to build it locally. Close friends or find a regular, reliable sitter who you can build a long-term relationship with and use for annual getaways. Even just a long weekend is better than nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeling very jealous because in our circle of friends every single other couple has family who watches their children at least once a year so the parents can go on a child free vacation. At first it was a long weekend here and there, but now it has morphed into full weeks away. And most of the family isn’t even local but they come to town specifically to help. I desperately want to go away with DH for our 10 year anniversary next year but don’t know how we can make it happen since we don’t have family to help and it’s not like I can just hire a random sitter to watch my kids (they are 6 and 2).

DH’s parents offer to help on occasion but they aren’t in the best shape healthwise so two kids would be too much for them, especially since my FIL is super old school and does nothing to help ever. When my MIL babysat the kids for one afternoon she was exhausted so I can’t imagine her making it a whole weekend on her own. My parents have never offered and when we have broached the subject they say they aren’t comfortable doing it.

Do you go away without your kids and if so, who watches them? Are there others like us who literally haven’t been away together for years??

In the first 16 years of parenthood, we had 3 one nighters together away from our children. Then we had almost a week- it was great.

[Anonymous]

Gone away once for an overnight. Oldest is 6.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t gone away together since our first was born seven years ago. Maybe someday!

[Anonymous]

Rarely - my three are 6 and under and while my parents live nearby part of the year it’s really too much to ask them to take care of them for more than one or two nights. They adore my kids and my kids adore them but they are in their late 60’s and while in very good shape it’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

My parents give us 9-11 days a year. We go to pretty exotic places and sign over medical power of attorney and such since we’re out of the country. We’d love my parents no matter what but dh does bite his tongue more and quips he can put up with anything as long as they babysit once a year. We do hire babysitters to help them on weekend days and my kids are in full time daycare. My parents enjoy it immensely and look forward to it. I’m an only child so I anticipate helping my parents as they age especially because they’re helping me now.

[Anonymous]

It was at least 10 years post children that we got away for a few days and it was business related. Our first full week away was when our oldest was something like 18-20! Both of us had limited vacation time, 2-3 weeks, and much of it was used to visit family plus one week for a family-only vacation. I’m sure we would have loved to get away but no regrets. As soon as we became empty nesters we made up for it.

[Anonymous]

Never.

Well we did get a few days away in the past 9 years but it was for a funeral and a wedding and we paid thousands to our nanny for it.

[Anonymous]

We get away solo probably 3-4 times a year for a night or two (weddings, etc.). We went away for 4-5 nights when we had a baby moon and there was just one kid for grandparents to watch. We travel each alone for work or to visit friends (Miami, London, Spain, NY) etc so also get travel and time away from the kids that way.

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple times a year. We chose to move out of DC to where I grew up to be near my mom and siblings. (We always knew DH’s parents and siblings would be minimally involved and just appreciate a once a year get together with them.) We sacrificed a lot to move but decided that it was something we’d do before we even had kids because we knew having family support would make life infinitely easier.

If family isn’t an option then you have to build it locally. Close friends or find a regular, reliable sitter who you can build a long-term relationship with and use for annual getaways. Even just a long weekend is better than nothing.

You have friends willing to watch your kids for a week?! Damn

[Anonymous]

5 kids, oldest is 16 and we have never gone away without them.