Not turning in homework

[Anonymous]

DS (16) has 2 Fs and a D right now. For not turning in work. He does it, I've seen it, then forgets to turn it in. It's driving me crazy!! We've always told him it's about the effort, not the grades, when it comes to school... and he's putting in the effort... but somehow not turning in the work (which I know is part of the effort). We've told him there won't be 'consequences' for bad grades (due to lack of effort) until the final quarter grades are out but how do I help him get his $hit together and get stuff turned in. This was not a problem before high school, and was a little problem lalst year. This year, though, it's pretty epic. help?

[Anonymous]

ADHD? It’s a classic symptom.

Does he carrying a phone? Maybe set a reminder to vibrate at the beginning of his classes to turn it in.

Can he email the homework? Maybe finish it and email immediately.

Walk him through his day and get him to brainstorm how to remind himself to do it.

[Anonymous]

My kid does the same thing. It’s infuriating. I try to help him set up processes to remind himself to submit them. Works sometimes. I do know he isn’t doing it on purpose but his organizational skills are behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS (16) has 2 Fs and a D right now. For not turning in work. He does it, I've seen it, then forgets to turn it in. It's driving me crazy!! We've always told him it's about the effort, not the grades, when it comes to school... and he's putting in the effort... but somehow not turning in the work (which I know is part of the effort). We've told him there won't be 'consequences' for bad grades (due to lack of effort) until the final quarter grades are out but how do I help him get his $hit together and get stuff turned in. This was not a problem before high school, and was a little problem lalst year. This year, though, it's pretty epic. help?

My ds had this and it was ADHD inattentive type. Y

ou have to help him create checkpoints and habits for himself. My ds used his planner to write assignments, and to write XYZ DUE in the box for the class/and date that it was due. At first he had the assignment written on the day it was assigned, and then at home that night, part of his work was to go and write TURN IN XYZ and highlight it on the square for that class on that due date. He needed to look at the planner when he was in class each day - that was a habit that has to be made. It is ALL about making habits.

[Anonymous]

Find out what the teachers’ requirements are for turning it in. If your child doesn’t know, they should be plainly in the syllabi. Have him email if there are any questions. Then create a system that will help him turn it in. He might have an in-class partner and they remind each other. Maybe the issue is that he can’t find where he’s stored his work, so he needs a folder or labeled section of his notebook. Maybe he needs better routines and discipline when entering or exiting the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that your son has ADHD? He sounds a lot like mine. I’ve helped him make a homework folder so he only has one place to look for papers that should be turned in. I also have to remind him constantly. It takes a lot more parental involvement than I ever thought a high school student would need but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I hear this a lot from parents, and I largely blame the culture of allowing work to be turned in late routinely with little or no penalty. This was not a thing when I was in school. If a teacher allowed late work at all, even one day late with a heavy penalty, that was considered a super chill teacher.

Now kids are given so much leeway with late work in middle school that it sets them up for really bad habits in high school.

[Anonymous]

This book has been recommended on the Special Needs forum, focused on boys and executive functioning:
https://www.amazon.com/That-Crumpled-Paper-Last-Week/dp/0399535594/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2EWBGZSXM74PK&keywords=that+crumpled+paper+was+due+last+week&qid=1569352507&s=books&sprefix=that+crum%2Cstripbooks%2C122&sr=1-1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear this a lot from parents, and I largely blame the culture of allowing work to be turned in late routinely with little or no penalty. This was not a thing when I was in school. If a teacher allowed late work at all, even one day late with a heavy penalty, that was considered a super chill teacher.

Now kids are given so much leeway with late work in middle school that it sets them up for really bad habits in high school.

2 F's and a D? It looks like he was penalized.

[Anonymous]

Ditto - classic sign of ADHD. Or, could be anxiety...my nephew struggled with this in ES-MS. He'd do homework but not turn it in because it wasn't perfect. Needed therapy and medication to deal with the anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Since you know he does it, it is time for a non-yelling talk about how to make sure the work gets in and strategies to use. For my kid, the secret was one folder only with any arranging saved for at night when it was quiet.

Ask him how each teacher wants the work turned in, and where the assignments are. For my kid, the trouble was always when they were asked to put their homework somewhere during a portion of class when they were working on something else... he'd never hear the teacher. I know he wasn't lying because I remember Junior High.


Yes, learning from failure happens all the time, but on his own you can't be sure he'll learn the lesson you want him to learn, which is shape up. Instead, he might learn "I can't do this, I give up"

[Anonymous]

How does he forget? The teacher literally says "Turn in your homework" at the beginning of class and the kids all pass it in. Seems like he's choosing not to or he goes to a school that is very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does he forget? The teacher literally says "Turn in your homework" at the beginning of class and the kids all pass it in. Seems like he's choosing not to or he goes to a school that is very different.

Some teachers just set the expectation to turn it in daily and that’s it, kid is responsible for the rest.

[Anonymous]

Can he turn it in electronically? Download a pdf scanner and email the teacher the night he does it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does he forget? The teacher literally says "Turn in your homework" at the beginning of class and the kids all pass it in. Seems like he's choosing not to or he goes to a school that is very different.

Not all teachers do that. Some set expectations at the beginning of the year, provide a homework box, and let the chips fall where they may.