Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's interesting it hasn't really been a problem until now. I realize this may be like pulling teeth, but have you asked him for some ideas on what might be different about this year that's contributing to the situation? With my ds last year anyway it was sometimes truly forgetting then being embarrassed about handing it in late and sometimes I know he just opted not to do something because he didn't want to do it and the points weren't worth it. It's so frustrating. I did take pictures of some of his work, then started having him take pictures with his school ipad. I tried to stress that homework is not "done" until the teacher has recorded it and you see the score online, so you have to keep on it until that time. At least some of his teachers have the policy that they do not ask/remind kids to turn in the homework, it's on the kids to remember and put it in the homework basket.
If it is adhd, it’s actually not surprising at all that it’s happening suddenly at this point. Smart kids with adhd often find their own ways to cope and manage tasks like homework and turning it in. It works okay, until it doesn’t. For people with adhd, it’s a balancing act. We figure out a way to manage what’s on our plate, we juggle it as best we can, we know what has to be done and what we can let slide. But if you add one more thing, it could all collapse. (It reminds me of when Mr. Burns had 3 stooges syndrome on the simpsons
https://youtu.be/aI0euMFAWF8) I know everyone feels like that sometimes, but imagine being a kid in middle school who feels like that every day. It’s pretty much all they’ve ever known so it’s their normal. Add in mom and dad being disappointed that they’re not living up to their potential. Then they go to high school. Social dynamics are more complicated. Classes are harder. Teachers expect more. Parents are disappointed that you’re not able to follow through with simple tasks. It all comes crashing down and you fail a class. It’s so overwhelming, you don’t even know how to ask for help because you don’t know what kind of help you need. It’s not that you’re not smart enough, you understand the material so tutoring won’t help. Mom and dad are more disappointed. You’re disappointed with yourself because you can’t even remember or gather the courage to turn in the work you did, and what’s the point anyway because you’re already failing? This is why so many kids with adhd have anxiety and/or depression. It sucks but it’s so treatable.
The PP whose brother didn’t have adhd made a great case for seeing a doctor. Posters who have adhd and parents of kids with adhd are suggesting it as an option because that’s such a common symptom of the disorder. It’s not an excuse. It’s just how the disorder works. It’s manageable. But we’re not doctors and we don’t know OP’s kid. PP is right, it might not be adhd. It could be something worse. That doesn’t mean ignore or sweep it under the rug. Instead it highlights the need to talk to a professional. And if there’s no diagnosis, if the doctor says your kid gets his jollies by doing work and not turning it in, you can still consider therapy to come up with a plan for behavior modification. Sometimes it helps to have a professional when you’re looking to make big life changes, even if there’s no diagnosis.
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