Another bday thread: whole class vs a few friends

[Anonymous]

We JUST hit the preschool party circuit and started at a bigger preschool. My almost 4 year old loves a good party.

My original plan (booked in advance) was 12 kids - family friends, playmates, 2 friends from preschool etc. DD’s class is 18 kids and the trend is invite everyone. While I love that - it’s so nice - it means we can’t invite any of our actual friends... and have to pay for the super deluxe package - which makes it feel like “My Super Sweet Sixteen” vs a 4 year old My Little Pony party.

Do you go with the original plan? Or suck it up and invite the universe ($$$)?

[Anonymous]

Have big parties at parks, not expensive places.

[Anonymous]

I’d go with the original plan, but do the pre-school invitations very discreetly, preferably outside of preschool altogether, I.e. no invitations given at pre-school.

[Anonymous]

Since my kids were about 4 or 5, I've let them make the guest list. Sure, I say "what about Britney?" and they say "Oh yeah, definitely have to invite Britney and Lindsey". But they write out their list.

They've never wanted to invite their whole class, and they've always invited more people than are IN their class.

To us, birthday parties are not about money. They're about surrounding yourself with your favorite people to help you celebrate your special day.

[Anonymous]

We invited DD's whole class to her party. I don't think it's reasonable to start excluding kids at this age. When she gets older, if she wants something smaller, that's fine, but for now we'd prefer to just include everyone.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the camp of whole class parties at that age. They have their whole lives to be selective. I'd invite everyone (but not everyone will come!) and have a simpler party at a park or at home.
If you must restrict, the general rule of thumb is: less than half the class, or if it's a single-gender party, all or less than half of the gender; and invitations only by mail or email, not brought to school.

[Anonymous]

OP, do what makes you and your DD comfortable. It is totally acceptable to invite 2 kids out of a class of 18. As PP said, just avoid inviting at school, if at all possible.

There is no need to have a party with 18 kids (whose families likely will want to bring siblings) just to be "inclusive". And certainly, you shouldn't do something that your child won't enjoy!

[Anonymous]

When we had a birthday party when DS was in preschool we invited everyone. We only had one of these affairs, his other birthdays were family only. There were several families who had multiple whole class parties.

The Preschools rule was if you invite one kid, you invite them all. It doesn't matter how you do the invitations, the kids are 4 they are going to discuss the party at school and the other kids will know they were not invited.

The reason we only had one party for the whole class was because it is too expensive and I thought it was crazy. DS had no clue that birthdays were celebrated outside of the family until he hit 4 and finally asked for a big kid party when he was 5.

[Anonymous]

Op here - DD has an early fall birthday abc we booked the party space months before we started this school. DD loves the venue.

I hate excluding and agree with PPs - but it’s not in our budget to have 32 kids and 26 parents. Eek!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - DD has an early fall birthday abc we booked the party space months before we started this school. DD loves the venue.

I hate excluding and agree with PPs - but it’s not in our budget to have 32 kids and 26 parents. Eek!

I don't know how it works at your school, but for ours, I seriously doubt most of her preschool classmates will even come. We booked a playspace with a party room. We invited 16 kids and their parents, as well as 6 family members (grandparents and DH's aunt and uncle are coming).

We're still a month out from the RSVP deadline. So far we have 14 adults and 4 kids coming (including DH, DD, and me). I've heard from one parent of a classmate who said they can't come. Haven't heard from anyone else. I'm only expecting 7-8 kids max, which is fine.

So I guess my question is whether you'd expect to actually have 32 kids and 26 parents.

[Anonymous]

Entire class, most will not come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Entire class, most will not come.

Not at our school, everyone comes.

Just stick with your original plan if you can't afford to invite the whole class. The two you invite will probably talk about it though.

[Anonymous]

My kid will never have a party if we have to invite the whole class. Even if you only do pizza, juice boxes, and paper supplies, it adds up for 30+ people. You are fine to invite two OP, but call or email the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entire class, most will not come.

Not at our school, everyone comes.

Just stick with your original plan if you can't afford to invite the whole class. The two you invite will probably talk about it though.

That's the thing. Last year, a kid had a birthday party in DD's class and didn't invite everyone (DD was not invited). Even though the kids were only 2 years old then, they still talked about it. They brought the party favors into school the next day. I don't think DD had any idea what was going on, but if that happened this year, she would know that her friends did something and she wasn't invited. She knows what an invitation is and what a party is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid will never have a party if we have to invite the whole class. Even if you only do pizza, juice boxes, and paper supplies, it adds up for 30+ people. You are fine to invite two OP, but call or email the parents.

You have 30 kids in your preschooler's class?