Another bday thread: whole class vs a few friends

[Anonymous]

You should do whatever kind of party works best for your family. I detest playground parties unless they’re drop-off. It is perfectly fine to invite only a couple of kids out of a class. It’s shitty to invite most of the class and leave out a few, but the reverse is fine. I think the whole class party is almost always more stress than it is worth. It’s not the cost, it’s just not fun.

[Anonymous]

There is no great solution. My 3yo was CRUSHED when he wasn’t invited to a couple parties, so we invited to his 4th the whole class and siblings, non-class friends were minimized. 24 kids and 26 parents RSVDd yes. I was stressed, spent $$$. Only 17 and 14 parents showed up! And the parents barely ate/drank. My takeaway—-Do it, just buy less food than you think you need!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same problem. What if party at the park or house is not an option? DD’s bday is in late Dec and outdoors is just out.

I would suggest getting a rec centre. Get the big coffee jar thingy from Dunkin, cake, cookies, juice boxes and party size bag of pretzel/ pop corn/ chips.

How do you entertain kids (3-4 years old) at the rec center? We have yet been to a rec center bday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since my kids were about 4 or 5, I've let them make the guest list. Sure, I say "what about Britney?" and they say "Oh yeah, definitely have to invite Britney and Lindsey". But they write out their list.

They've never wanted to invite their whole class, and they've always invited more people than are IN their class.

To us, birthday parties are not about money. They're about surrounding yourself with your favorite people to help you celebrate your special day.

Must be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid will never have a party if we have to invite the whole class. Even if you only do pizza, juice boxes, and paper supplies, it adds up for 30+ people. You are fine to invite two OP, but call or email the parents.

You have 30 kids in your preschooler's class?

I was thinking of parents and siblings. Kid is in a class of 12. I can’t imagine serving pizza and making the parents watch.

Parents won’t eat the pizza.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to invite the whole class to the party, don't invite any of them, and instead bring in cupcakes and goody bags to the school one day. Tell your child that is their "school party" and everyone is invited. Host the venue party with family and other friends.

Unless you have a separate connection with any of the kids in her class, i.e. they also live on your block, go to your church, are on your soccer team, etc., I wouldn't let your child pick just 2 kids from the class. Childhood friendships change so quickly, the people she invites today may not be the people she is playing with next month, and she is going to say to them "you should come to my party" not realizing you didn't invite them. This is why all or nothing works best in the preschool crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid will never have a party if we have to invite the whole class. Even if you only do pizza, juice boxes, and paper supplies, it adds up for 30+ people. You are fine to invite two OP, but call or email the parents.

You have 30 kids in your preschooler's class?

I was thinking of parents and siblings. Kid is in a class of 12. I can’t imagine serving pizza and making the parents watch.

Parents won’t eat the pizza.

If it's lunch time, I will. Or I'll be bothered that I'm going home hungry! I have been at child's party where there wasn't enough food allotted for the parents, but it was lunch time, and we had to sit there and watch our kid eat, and it made me grumpy! I mean, I'm an adult so of course I lived through it, but it's made me double order for any party I host! Trying to nibble on your kids leftover crust is just miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want to invite the whole class to the party, don't invite any of them, and instead bring in cupcakes and goody bags to the school one day. Tell your child that is their "school party" and everyone is invited. Host the venue party with family and other friends.

Unless you have a separate connection with any of the kids in her class, i.e. they also live on your block, go to your church, are on your soccer team, etc., I wouldn't let your child pick just 2 kids from the class. Childhood friendships change so quickly, the people she invites today may not be the people she is playing with next month, and she is going to say to them "you should come to my party" not realizing you didn't invite them. This is why all or nothing works best in the preschool crowd.

I totally agree.

Preschoolers are also terrible about actually giving you a clear idea of who they're playing with. Example:

We had a family over yesterday, as DD is good friends with their daughter. The mom said she ran into a classmate's mother who said, "Oh, Larlo always talks about playing with your daughter! I guess they always play together." She said her daughter had never mentioned the kid and, when she asked her about him, she said "I don't play with him, mommy." Point being, these kids are too young to really be able to articulate everything they do. My kid constantly talks about playing with the same 2 girls, but her teachers say she plays with everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid will never have a party if we have to invite the whole class. Even if you only do pizza, juice boxes, and paper supplies, it adds up for 30+ people. You are fine to invite two OP, but call or email the parents.

You have 30 kids in your preschooler's class?

I was thinking of parents and siblings. Kid is in a class of 12. I can’t imagine serving pizza and making the parents watch.

Parents won’t eat the pizza.

If it's lunch time, I will. Or I'll be bothered that I'm going home hungry! I have been at child's party where there wasn't enough food allotted for the parents, but it was lunch time, and we had to sit there and watch our kid eat, and it made me grumpy! I mean, I'm an adult so of course I lived through it, but it's made me double order for any party I host! Trying to nibble on your kids leftover crust is just miserable.

I totally agree. If you're hosting a party at any time--but especially during a meal time--why wouldn't you provide enough food for everyone? That said, I have learned to order less cake than the guidelines say, since most parents won't eat cake, and preschoolers are fine with small slices. We've ended up with lots of extra cake in the past, so now I just order a 1/4 sheet cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same problem. What if party at the park or house is not an option? DD’s bday is in late Dec and outdoors is just out.

I would suggest getting a rec centre. Get the big coffee jar thingy from Dunkin, cake, cookies, juice boxes and party size bag of pretzel/ pop corn/ chips.

How do you entertain kids (3-4 years old) at the rec center? We have yet been to a rec center bday party.

One thing we do is to hand out goodie bags before the party is over. Have some playdough/ toy/ balloons/ activity in it and start handing out once all the kids are there and start getting antsy. Also, consider party games - pin the donkey's tail or simon says, etc. I have also done face painting at a party. if you are slightly bit artistically inclined, it's not hard at all. Between all of that and the cake, 3-4 year olds are pretty happy.