How do you cope with the anxiety of TTC?

[Anonymous]

I am 38 and trying to conceive my second after easily conceiving at 35. I have only been off of the pill for a little over a month and am already very anxious about the process, whether I'll have secondary infertility, why hasn't my period come back yet, when should I contact an RE, etc. I know this is not rational or helpful - again, I have only been off the pill for ONE month. So I recognize that my anxiety is taking over - my question is, what are some helpful ways of coping for this stressful, random, luck-based thing? I would love to hear how some of you have dealt with the stress!

[Anonymous]

No advice.. feeling the same way

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it's been so stress inducing for me (also TTC #2) that I have had to go back to therapy (which is helping a little). Besides that, the other strategies I hear are meditation (like one of the popular apps), staying as busy as possible, and for me personally, staying far away from as much social media as possible.

[Anonymous]

I would be proactive. Once you get your period back, go to your OB on day three and get bloodwork done. Ask them for "day three bloodwork" Call on day one. This will give you an idea of how quickly you should be able to get pregnant.

In general, most people who conceived quickly the first time (especially at 35) won't have a problem with the second child a few years later.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted many times. We are TTC our third. I’m 36.

I’m the opposite of PP: I went to the doctor near my birthday because I was feeling anxious about my age. The doctor shrugged and said since I easily conceived the other 2, I should be fine. I’m hoping he’s right!

It helps me to look at my first child and remember how WORRIED I was about getting pregnant at all. It took a year to conceive him. But yet, he exists! So, that helps.

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be proactive. Once you get your period back, go to your OB on day three and get bloodwork done. Ask them for "day three bloodwork" Call on day one. This will give you an idea of how quickly you should be able to get pregnant.

In general, most people who conceived quickly the first time (especially at 35) won't have a problem with the second child a few years later.

Good luck.

I don't know if this is actually true. I think women with great CD3 numbers can have trouble conceiving and vice versa - my understanding is that those numbers are most reflective of anticipated response to IVF stims. They will of course also reveal DOR or potentially PCOS, but I've had multiple REs tell me that good numbers are no guarantee of anything. It seems to always come back to age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be proactive. Once you get your period back, go to your OB on day three and get bloodwork done. Ask them for "day three bloodwork" Call on day one. This will give you an idea of how quickly you should be able to get pregnant.

In general, most people who conceived quickly the first time (especially at 35) won't have a problem with the second child a few years later.

Good luck.

I don't know if this is actually true. I think women with great CD3 numbers can have trouble conceiving and vice versa - my understanding is that those numbers are most reflective of anticipated response to IVF stims. They will of course also reveal DOR or potentially PCOS, but I've had multiple REs tell me that good numbers are no guarantee of anything. It seems to always come back to age.

Well if you’d re going to REs, then you are already having problems. Op isn’t.

[Anonymous]

I did not handle TTC #2 very well. It took 6 months. I was 39. I did end up asking for an initial fertility workup that revealed everything was normal. I got pregnant the month after my HSG (could have been that) and when we were on vacation (could have been that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In general, most people who conceived quickly the first time (especially at 35) won't have a problem with the second child a few years later.

New poster. I thought this was true too. I got pregnant on the first try at 35. I had the easiest pregnancy and delivery ever. No epidural even and only pushed for 10 minutes. My whole pregnancy was a dream come true. Started TTC #2 at 37. I had no luck whatsoever and saw an RE after 6 months. We tried everything under the sun to have a second for 5 years, then gave up. My diagnosis was "unexplained secondary infertility."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In general, most people who conceived quickly the first time (especially at 35) won't have a problem with the second child a few years later.

New poster. I thought this was true too. I got pregnant on the first try at 35. I had the easiest pregnancy and delivery ever. No epidural even and only pushed for 10 minutes. My whole pregnancy was a dream come true. Started TTC #2 at 37. I had no luck whatsoever and saw an RE after 6 months. We tried everything under the sun to have a second for 5 years, then gave up. My diagnosis was "unexplained secondary infertility."

I'm sorry, PP. The first PP is correct, but that's the problem with statistics. If the number were, say, 80% of women who easily conceive and deliver a baby will conceive again without issue, there's always the 20% who don't.

[Anonymous]

After over a year of trying for a first, I just got a positive. I still don't really believe it, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can anyone relate to that feeling? Although I've never been pregnant before, it was relatively hard for me to get here (certainly emotionally), and I'm afraid it will be taken away. I feel like I don't really get to be happy yet, since it's so early and therefore so fragile. Has anyone else been here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After over a year of trying for a first, I just got a positive. I still don't really believe it, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can anyone relate to that feeling? Although I've never been pregnant before, it was relatively hard for me to get here (certainly emotionally), and I'm afraid it will be taken away. I feel like I don't really get to be happy yet, since it's so early and therefore so fragile. Has anyone else been here?

I've definitely been there, PP. It did not take us long to conceive our first, but I almost expected to lose it for the first trimester because of some friends' experiences. I was very numb to the pregnancy for the first 13 weeks or so. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the first ultrasound or two did nothing for me--it's like I refused to allow myself any excitement. I think the techs probably thought I was a sociopath. But I felt a lot more optimistic and then excited once I got through the first trimester and now that feels like a blip. Anyways, I hear you and I am sure plenty of women have felt the same way. Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be proactive. Once you get your period back, go to your OB on day three and get bloodwork done. Ask them for "day three bloodwork" Call on day one. This will give you an idea of how quickly you should be able to get pregnant.

In general, most people who conceived quickly the first time (especially at 35) won't have a problem with the second child a few years later.

Good luck.

I don't know if this is actually true. I think women with great CD3 numbers can have trouble conceiving and vice versa - my understanding is that those numbers are most reflective of anticipated response to IVF stims. They will of course also reveal DOR or potentially PCOS, but I've had multiple REs tell me that good numbers are no guarantee of anything. It seems to always come back to age.

Well if you’d re going to REs, then you are already having problems. Op isn’t.

The poster who wrote this suggested that CD3 numbers would tell her how quickly she could expect to get pregnant. I don't think there is actually any truth to that assertion - that was my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After over a year of trying for a first, I just got a positive. I still don't really believe it, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can anyone relate to that feeling? Although I've never been pregnant before, it was relatively hard for me to get here (certainly emotionally), and I'm afraid it will be taken away. I feel like I don't really get to be happy yet, since it's so early and therefore so fragile. Has anyone else been here?

I've definitely been there, PP. It did not take us long to conceive our first, but I almost expected to lose it for the first trimester because of some friends' experiences. I was very numb to the pregnancy for the first 13 weeks or so. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the first ultrasound or two did nothing for me--it's like I refused to allow myself any excitement. I think the techs probably thought I was a sociopath. But I felt a lot more optimistic and then excited once I got through the first trimester and now that feels like a blip. Anyways, I hear you and I am sure plenty of women have felt the same way. Congratulations!

Thanks for sharing. It's helpful to know that other people have felt this way. Part of what complicates this is that we had to wait a while to start trying, due to a variety of circumstances, and then it took a while once we were trying. During this time it was hard for me to listen to friends talk about their pregnancies. Now that I'm finally there, I also worry about the people who will feel upset by my news, such as my work friend who will never be able to have kids. I'm glad to have been there; it taught me a lot. Never assume that everyone wants to hear about your pregnancy, pregnancy envy is so raw and painful. Now that I'm pregnant, I also feel somewhat guilty (irrational as that may be).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After over a year of trying for a first, I just got a positive. I still don't really believe it, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can anyone relate to that feeling? Although I've never been pregnant before, it was relatively hard for me to get here (certainly emotionally), and I'm afraid it will be taken away. I feel like I don't really get to be happy yet, since it's so early and therefore so fragile. Has anyone else been here?

I've definitely been there, PP. It did not take us long to conceive our first, but I almost expected to lose it for the first trimester because of some friends' experiences. I was very numb to the pregnancy for the first 13 weeks or so. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the first ultrasound or two did nothing for me--it's like I refused to allow myself any excitement. I think the techs probably thought I was a sociopath. But I felt a lot more optimistic and then excited once I got through the first trimester and now that feels like a blip. Anyways, I hear you and I am sure plenty of women have felt the same way. Congratulations!

Thanks for sharing. It's helpful to know that other people have felt this way. Part of what complicates this is that we had to wait a while to start trying, due to a variety of circumstances, and then it took a while once we were trying. During this time it was hard for me to listen to friends talk about their pregnancies. Now that I'm finally there, I also worry about the people who will feel upset by my news, such as my work friend who will never be able to have kids. I'm glad to have been there; it taught me a lot. Never assume that everyone wants to hear about your pregnancy, pregnancy envy is so raw and painful. Now that I'm pregnant, I also feel somewhat guilty (irrational as that may be).

It sounds like you are a very empathetic person and mindful of others' feelings, and that will be appreciated. Best of luck to you!