Why is this bugging me?!

[Anonymous]

I was in the library playroom with my 3 year old today and there was a grandmother with her nine or ten month grandchild. My child took a toy out of the baby’s hand to play with it and the grandmother said, “please don’t take toys out of his hand. Please give it back to him”. My child walked over to me and I told her to give it back. She did and the grandmother said thank you.

No big deal, right? No one did anything wrong, right? I just feel embarrassed and judged now and keep thinking about how I should have said something first. Or the grandmother took it all way too seriously and had no business correcting my kid.

[Anonymous]

OMG, for real? You feel judged? The grandmother was doing her job, your kid did his job coming to you (assuming you are not teaching him to respect what other adults tell him, which it sounds like you are not...) and you did your job of telling him to return the toy.

WTF.... where is the issue?

[Anonymous]

I think she was fine to say something, she said please twice. Kids are kids. If my 2.5 year old did that and the grandmother beat to saying something, I wouldn't beat myself up about it nor would I think she was out of line asking my child to give it back.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is 3. It's ok for you to correct her for something like this.

It all seems pretty innocuous. Nobody's perfect.

[Anonymous]

I think it's normal to feel embarrassed when your kid does something they shouldn't do. Most people have been in your shoes, but I still always felt like I was being judged.

I don't see what the grandmother did wrong, unless she yelled at him.

[Anonymous]

I suffer from mild social anxiety. I can def see myself being embarrassed in this scenario and I would have worried about being judged. Ds is 6 now and I'm much better, but still struggle sometimes.


Grandmother did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you intervene before your child took the toy out of the baby’s hand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the library playroom with my 3 year old today and there was a grandmother with her nine or ten month grandchild. My child took a toy out of the baby’s hand to play with it and the grandmother said, “please don’t take toys out of his hand. Please give it back to him”. My child walked over to me and I told her to give it back. She did and the grandmother said thank you.

No big deal, right? No one did anything wrong, right? I just feel embarrassed and judged now and keep thinking about how I should have said something first. Or the grandmother took it all way too seriously and had no business correcting my kid.

Oh lord. Are you serious with this? Your kid took a toy out of a baby's hand. You need to tell your child that she can't take toys from other kids. You should have told her that when you first saw it, but the grandmother of the baby did it instead. As she should have when you didn't say anything. You need to teach your child that she can't just take things out of other people's hands. This is something that needs to be explicitly taught in these situations.

The grandmother handled the situation well. You did not handle it well.

[Anonymous]

Grandma has a few years of experience on you. If her tone was kind, let it go. Grandma knows both you and your child are still learning. You will be more prepared next time.

[Anonymous]

I'm seriously suggesting therapy. I'm not being facetious. You seem pretty anxious, and it might do you some good to work through why you feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Grandma’s right your kid should
Never have been as close and able to take a toy
Out of the baby hand. Second, my baby had low immunity so it annoyed me when toddlers fit in his face and parents were yaking somewhere. It bugs you because you messed up.

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old once started throwing plastic toys at a baby while I was chasing his brother and the baby’s dad literally held his arm and said Stop it! I was mortified and apologized profusely, scolded my son and left. It’s really embarrassing when your child misbehaves and another adult calls them out. The dad wasn’t mad and did the right thing. My kid had never done that before or since FWIW, but sometimes kids (even our own sweet children) are rude and need to be civilized.

[Anonymous]

I hope you’re a troll. No one did anything wrong here except for you for not immediately stepping in and gently correcting your child. Your child was behaving normally for a 3 year old. Grandma behaves normally for a grandma. It’s okay to be embarrassed. Do better next time. This is basic parenting.

[Anonymous]

I know, OP. Stuff like that always weighs on me too. Please try to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the library playroom with my 3 year old today and there was a grandmother with her nine or ten month grandchild. My child took a toy out of the baby’s hand to play with it and the grandmother said, “please don’t take toys out of his hand. Please give it back to him”. My child walked over to me and I told her to give it back. She did and the grandmother said thank you.

No big deal, right? No one did anything wrong, right? I just feel embarrassed and judged now and keep thinking about how I should have said something first. Or the grandmother took it all way too seriously and had no business correcting my kid.

Hard no to the bolded. Yes, you should have said something first. I find it interesting that instead of giving the toy back (which was a perfectly reasonable request, even to a three year old), your kid walked over to you with the toy, and you had to repeat the request to your kid. Maybe that is why you are embarrassed.