Why is this bugging me?!

[Anonymous]

Of course, she had "business correcting your child." Your child took a toy out of another child's hand. I would have said "so sorry" and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preschool teacher here - what your child did was normal. Kids have to make mistakes to learn. Sometimes hearing corrections from other people can be more powerful and effective. If the grandma had said “oh it’s okay the baby doesn’t care” your child would not learn important information about manners in a public space.

The grandma’s language was perfect.

If something like that happens again you could tell the person “ thank you for helping them with that”
And don’t be embarrassed - really! It is their job to find out about the world and what happens....it’s our job to tell them gently and kindly what the rules are. And then help them when they break them. Because they will, over and over again.

Part of what’s so frustrating about parenting is being in situations where you feel your child should know better. But they have to learn that not only do we not take toys from babies at the library, we don’t take toys at preschool, or the park, or the children’s museum, etc

This. Thank you preschool teacher!

OP, you're just embarrassed. We all have these moments. Next time, just intervene sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the library playroom with my 3 year old today and there was a grandmother with her nine or ten month grandchild. My child took a toy out of the baby’s hand to play with it and the grandmother said, “please don’t take toys out of his hand. Please give it back to him”. My child walked over to me and I told her to give it back. She did and the grandmother said thank you.


YES, I understand is all I am saying. But the faster you can let it go the better....sometimes, it doesn't make any sense at all and the other guardian and operating on a totally different system so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Lol!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the library playroom with my 3 year old today and there was a grandmother with her nine or ten month grandchild. My child took a toy out of the baby’s hand to play with it and the grandmother said, “please don’t take toys out of his hand. Please give it back to him”. My child walked over to me and I told her to give it back. She did and the grandmother said thank you.

No big deal, right? No one did anything wrong, right? I just feel embarrassed and judged now and keep thinking about how I should have said something first. Or the grandmother took it all way too seriously and had no business correcting my kid.

Well, you *should* have said something when your kid, in your words, "took a toy out of a baby's hand." Why didn't you say anything? Did you think that was OK?

And since you didn't say anything, she was perfectly fine correcting your kid. She seemed like she very polite about it. I'd have been polite to your kid, who is three, but less polite to you, who stood there and didn't say anything. What on earth are you teaching your kid?

You are being judged - by the grandmother, and now me - and you absolutely should feel embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know, OP. Stuff like that always weighs on me too. Please try to let it go.

She should learn from it, not let it go. Sheesh. Sometimes a little guilt and embarrassment makes us do better next time. OP apparently could use the help.

[Anonymous]

Depends. Was the toy a library toy for everyone’s use? If so, we are possibly entering gray area here because grandma might want to focus on sharing. If it was the kid’s personal property, then we’re in different territory because it’s the kid’s possession (or the grandmother’s). There are also lessons about personal space and manners. But we are so accustomed to elevating property “rights” in this country.

[Anonymous]

You've got a painful 18 years ahead of you if you're embarrassed by a normal course of events.

Thank your child for returning the toy and tell her not to take toys from other people's hands. And enforce.

[Anonymous]

I get it—it really depends on the tone that the grandma used,

[Anonymous]

Grandma knows how to parent. Take notes.

[Anonymous]

She had no business correcting your kid. It was your job to intervene and make the correction. Did you?

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. Grandma shouldn’t have corrected your LO. Your kid behaved in a developmentally appropriate way. It’s sad that grandma was more focused on “mine mine mine” than making sure everyone had a good time and that her grandchild was learning about sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. Grandma shouldn’t have corrected your LO. Your kid behaved in a developmentally appropriate way. It’s sad that grandma was more focused on “mine mine mine” than making sure everyone had a good time and that her grandchild was learning about sharing.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. Grandma shouldn’t have corrected your LO. Your kid behaved in a developmentally appropriate way. It’s sad that grandma was more focused on “mine mine mine” than making sure everyone had a good time and that her grandchild was learning about sharing.

This is preposterous on multiple levels.

First, this has nothing to do with sharing - OP's kid took the toy out of a much younger kid's hand.

Second, you are seriously suggesting that a parent why watches another kid mistreat her kid shouldn't intervene? Come on.

Finally, you seem to believe that "developmentally appropriate" is the same as "acceptable behavior." It isn't. This situation is a perfect example of a 3 yo engaging in developmentally appropriate behavior that is not acceptable, and needs to be corrected. Preferably by the parent; but if the parent doesn't, then by another adult.

[Anonymous]

It may well have to do with sharing. Sharing is a broad concept.