Why is this bugging me?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You've got a painful 18 years ahead of you if you're embarrassed by a normal course of events.

Thank your child for returning the toy and tell her not to take toys from other people's hands. And enforce.

Enforce? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. Grandma shouldn’t have corrected your LO. Your kid behaved in a developmentally appropriate way. It’s sad that grandma was more focused on “mine mine mine” than making sure everyone had a good time and that her grandchild was learning about sharing.

This is preposterous on multiple levels.

First, this has nothing to do with sharing - OP's kid took the toy out of a much younger kid's hand.

Second, you are seriously suggesting that a parent why watches another kid mistreat her kid shouldn't intervene? Come on.

Finally, you seem to believe that "developmentally appropriate" is the same as "acceptable behavior." It isn't. This situation is a perfect example of a 3 yo engaging in developmentally appropriate behavior that is not acceptable, and needs to be corrected. Preferably by the parent; but if the parent doesn't, then by another adult.

The baby should share with OP’s kid. It is about sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends. Was the toy a library toy for everyone’s use? If so, we are possibly entering gray area here because grandma might want to focus on sharing. If it was the kid’s personal property, then we’re in different territory because it’s the kid’s possession (or the grandmother’s). There are also lessons about personal space and manners. But we are so accustomed to elevating property “rights” in this country.

I don't think "sharing" means you get to take toys out of another child's hands, especially a baby's.

[Anonymous]

Sharing never means taking something out of someone’s hand! Come on, parents, you know this one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the library playroom with my 3 year old today and there was a grandmother with her nine or ten month grandchild. My child took a toy out of the baby’s hand to play with it and the grandmother said, “please don’t take toys out of his hand. Please give it back to him”. My child walked over to me and I told her to give it back. She did and the grandmother said thank you.

No big deal, right? No one did anything wrong, right? I just feel embarrassed and judged now and keep thinking about how I should have said something first. Or the grandmother took it all way too seriously and had no business correcting my kid.

I have anxiety as well. It’s ok, everyone fumbles with stuff. It doesn’t sound like anyone was out of line and sometimes our response time isn’t perfect. Kids can be quick and it can a few moments to react. Hoping by now you’ve forgotten about this interaction and don’t even see this comment, as it’s no longer weighing on your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preschool teacher here - what your child did was normal. Kids have to make mistakes to learn. Sometimes hearing corrections from other people can be more powerful and effective. If the grandma had said “oh it’s okay the baby doesn’t care” your child would not learn important information about manners in a public space.

The grandma’s language was perfect.

If something like that happens again you could tell the person “ thank you for helping them with that”
And don’t be embarrassed - really! It is their job to find out about the world and what happens....it’s our job to tell them gently and kindly what the rules are. And then help them when they break them. Because they will, over and over again.

Part of what’s so frustrating about parenting is being in situations where you feel your child should know better. But they have to learn that not only do we not take toys from babies at the library, we don’t take toys at preschool, or the park, or the children’s museum, etc

This is great feedback!

[Anonymous]

Uh, WHAT? The grandmother was certainly not out of line for advocating for a freaking BABY who couldn't advocate for herself.

WTF were you doing? On your phone? Oblivious? Or you just think the world owes Little Johnny any toy, including ones in the hand of a baby?

The You Suck award of the day goes to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

All is well, as long as you were not on your phone while it happened.

[Anonymous]

Eh. I don’t think she was wrong to speak up since you didn’t see what was happening, but she could have been kinder. It sounds like she scared him and that is why he brought it to you. She should have simply said he was still playing with and he would share when he was finished with it. I don’t care for the phrases she used. They sound chastising and negative. But she is old and it isn’t a huge deal. I would have let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sharing never means taking something out of someone’s hand! Come on, parents, you know this one!

So what does it mean? Sending a whining parent over to a kid to say, please share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sharing never means taking something out of someone’s hand! Come on, parents, you know this one!

So what does it mean? Sending a whining parent over to a kid to say, please share?

Sharing means asking the other child if you can also play with the toy, waiting patiently for them to finish, and respecting them if they say no.

It's important to teach kids sharing, but it's also equally as important to teach kids that wanting something doesn't mean you'll get it right away, and that it's okay to tell other people no if they want something you have.

[Anonymous]

I think you are feeling embarrassed. I'm a mom of three whose kids are now older and trust me - your kids will embarrass you again and eventually you just have to let it go. We all try to parent as effectively as we can, and we all make mistakes. The grandma seemed nice about the situation. It takes a village, and she was your helping hand. Smile shyly, say thank you to her, discuss what happened with your kid privately so it doesn't happen again and move on. Don't take it personally. Kids are a work in progress when it comes to manners and social behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sharing never means taking something out of someone’s hand! Come on, parents, you know this one!

So what does it mean? Sending a whining parent over to a kid to say, please share?

Sharing means asking the other child if you can also play with the toy, waiting patiently for them to finish, and respecting them if they say no.

It's important to teach kids sharing, but it's also equally as important to teach kids that wanting something doesn't mean you'll get it right away, and that it's okay to tell other people no if they want something you have.

Omg this is so not a big deal. Let it go grandma!

[Anonymous]

It bugs you because you finally realize that you have failed to teach your child basic manners! Now that you know, start teaching him make. Also, a three year old taking a you from a baby is indicitive of a bully.