Couples who have successfully survived a mid life crisis?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been reading and posting a lot about couples and families suffering due to one partner having a mid life crisis. My relationship is certainly in turmoil because of it. But some couples and families seem to survive it? Any tips? Advice?

[Anonymous]

When a man has a midlife crisis and wants “freedom” the couple almost always divorces based on many friends and family that have gone through this. If your the wife, I’d start getting your ducks in a row.

[Anonymous]

We dealt with it. Couples therapy and I started making decisions that prioritized my own happiness, independent of what my husband did, and which would have put me in a better place to take care of the kids myself if I had too. Having me be sane and stable instead of reacting to whatever nonsense he was doing made it better. It's still iffy. He has to live with the things he said and he did. But at least now he has the self awareness to have realized that the kinds of decisions he was making did not make him happier.

[Anonymous]

One big thing that helped us was a complete health assessment to see if there were any physical or mental health issues that affected us. Our bodies and minds, not to mention hormones, are very different now than 20 years ago

[Anonymous]

My husband had a big career mid life crisis and while it certainly affected our lives it didn’t affect our marriage. He bounced back and life went on.

[Anonymous]

I was very worried my husband was going through one after his mother died a few years ago at a relatively early age from a very brief but utter brutal terminal illness. It was terrible. We knew she was going to die but when she did DH just was in so much shock. And that grief turned into questioning his place in life, our marriage, his children, his career, his image, etc.

I insisted he go to grief counseling but he didn’t jive with the counselor so he started seeing a life coach instead. And he just really clicked with this counselor and she’s been great for he. (I am not worried about an affair, for one thing she’s 70). I do not believe nor was I ever worried about him cheating.

It’s been 2 years and things are so much better. Good luck to you op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a man has a midlife crisis and wants “freedom” the couple almost always divorces based on many friends and family that have gone through this. If your the wife, I’d start getting your ducks in a row.

Same when the woman has a crisis and decides she "settled" and "deserves better".

[Anonymous]

Interesting responses. My wife is in one, we have it all but she is constantly complaining. On one hand I want her gone but I know for our kids I should give it an effort. It's hard to be motivated toake it work with a brooding and cold person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting responses. My wife is in one, we have it all but she is constantly complaining. On one hand I want her gone but I know for our kids I should give it an effort. It's hard to be motivated toake it work with a brooding and cold person

I agree! It’s draining to be around someone so un happy and moody. I’m tired of being pushed away.

[Anonymous]

wow. I can relate. Getting a health check is great advice. Unfortunately, DW was offended when I made the suggestion. A good delivery is key when brining it up. I brought it up as the cause of our issues and that didn't land very well. Now months later trying to figure out a better way to frame it so not offensive.

[Anonymous]

My advice. Hold tight. You're in for a bumpy ride.

-mid life crisis victim.

[Anonymous]

medication for anxiety has helped some while DW goes through hers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:medication for anxiety has helped some while DW goes through hers

For which spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:medication for anxiety has helped some while DW goes through hers

For which spouse?

For me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting responses. My wife is in one, we have it all but she is constantly complaining. On one hand I want her gone but I know for our kids I should give it an effort. It's hard to be motivated toake it work with a brooding and cold person

I agree! It’s draining to be around someone so un happy and moody. I’m tired of being pushed away.

+1. If the opportunity arose for affection and fun and passion I don’t know that I would pass it up. Constant rejection and indifference sucks the life out of you.