Kids were horrible to 18y/o neighbor sitter

[Anonymous]

Babysitter said they refused to stay in time out, threw couch cushions across the house, yelled at her and took each others' clothes off....


this occurred in two hours while DH and I were at....a behaviorist trying to get tips on how to deal with older DS, who is 5. Younger DS is 3.

How should we handle this in terms of logical consequences for kids and making amends to neighbor girl.

[Anonymous]

Why did you leave the 5 YO with a sitter unprepared to handle him? Or had she dealt with him before and this behavior was new?

[Anonymous]

I had girls around those ages do something similar to me when I was babysitting. (They even peed on the rug.) Dad called me with a sincere apology and then put the girls on the phone to apologize, too. They asked me to sit again once or twice, but I declined!

As for consequences, I'd make things pretty bare bones at home. No electronics or screen time. Many discussions of what kind of behavior is appropriate in which cirumstances (We are at the park, so we can yell and run and jump and throw balls! vs. Here at the library, we talk quietly and replace one book before we pull out another one.)

[Anonymous]

Behavior was new (to her). This had never happened with a sitter before

[Anonymous]

A good paddling.

[Anonymous]

Ask the kids to apologize and realize if you want to lure her back you'll have to pay more.

[Anonymous]

We are gonna cut our losses on ever expecting her to take a job with us again, but do want to teach kids a lesson. Making the older one write an apology note and stay in room until it's done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are gonna cut our losses on ever expecting her to take a job with us again, but do want to teach kids a lesson. Making the older one write an apology note and stay in room until it's done.

The younger one can draw a picture as an apology. Hopefully you tipped well.

[Anonymous]

I would do more than just make the older one stay in her room until she's written an apology, geez.

I'd throw in a grounding and take away all of the electronics for a week as well as an apology and a large tip.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn’t you take your older child to this appointment?

[Anonymous]

I want to dump out the piggybank to purchase a Starbucks gift card for the girl as well. DH, who has done nothing in terms of discipline per usual, is saying it's not appropriate for me to take D's money for that purpose and overruling me in front of DS.

This behavior counselor sees parents sans kids most of the time PP.

[Anonymous]

I would take them to the sitter's door to apologize in person for their behavior.

Then I would take away something they covet -- technology time, TV time, taking them to see the movie, the pool, going out for ice cream, etc. Maybe nothing fun for an entire week!

And they would have to earn what they've lost back through good behavior.

You hold the cards, don't be afraid to play them.

[Anonymous]

OK, they deserve to know what they did was wrong, but some of these punishments are way overboard. Dumping their piggy bank - do you think that will affect a 3 yo Long term?

I would be looking at ways to improve their behavior long term. Not knee jerk reaction.

yes to apologizing, perhaps by letter. Talk about it. But get to how it happened. All these punishments are not going to fix it

[Anonymous]

and wow. I just missed the part that you were at a Dr. for 5yo behavior?? I would talk with that person. I guarantee your solutions are not what they would suggest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, they deserve to know what they did was wrong, but some of these punishments are way overboard. Dumping their piggy bank - do you think that will affect a 3 yo Long term?

I would be looking at ways to improve their behavior long term. Not knee jerk reaction.

yes to apologizing, perhaps by letter. Talk about it. But get to how it happened. All these punishments are not going to fix it

+100

The responses on this thread are crazy.