Kids were horrible to 18y/o neighbor sitter

[Anonymous]

Take a 5 year olds money away as punishment? if you are at that Dr. for your child’s behavior, you should have warned the babysitter and how to handle the child. Sounds like you didn’t. YOU should be apologizing to the sitter. You set the sitter up to fail. I leave my special needs, temper tantrum, screeching, 3 year old with my sister who can properly handle him. I would never leave him with a young teenager that couldn’t handle him

[Anonymous]

Now we know why we couldn't get a babysitter when we said we had 3yo and 5yo boys We said they were really well behaved but I guess nobody believed us.

OP, we would demand a written apology from each of them (yes, even the 3 yo - he should be able to write 'sorry' and her name on some paper even if it takes a while) and keep them in timeout x5 sequentially (one for each bad thing plus the refusal to do timeout originally). If they scream or come out, time starts from scratch. One min of timeout per year of age (so 25 mins for 5yo). they must be very bored for the time, no toys etc. I would also be refusing screentime for an entire month. (yes, I mean an entire month).

People always compliment our kids on their behavior, say how sweet they are, and this is why. We run a tight ship. That type of crap would not fly here. Not even a little bit. and it's a slippery slope. You need to keep them in check. These days for us it's just maintenance because we've put in so much work already. Things got much harder when we had our third recently but we got control of the ship again pretty fast. we're exhausted and would rather not, but we need to.

And I promise you that my boys are normal crazy boys - they love to shout (all the type if we let them), run and climb everything and get physical. You can do it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now we know why we couldn't get a babysitter when we said we had 3yo and 5yo boys We said they were really well behaved but I guess nobody believed us.

OP, we would demand a written apology from each of them (yes, even the 3 yo - he should be able to write 'sorry' and her name on some paper even if it takes a while) and keep them in timeout x5 sequentially (one for each bad thing plus the refusal to do timeout originally). If they scream or come out, time starts from scratch. One min of timeout per year of age (so 25 mins for 5yo). they must be very bored for the time, no toys etc. I would also be refusing screentime for an entire month. (yes, I mean an entire month).

People always compliment our kids on their behavior, say how sweet they are, and this is why. We run a tight ship. That type of crap would not fly here. Not even a little bit. and it's a slippery slope. You need to keep them in check. These days for us it's just maintenance because we've put in so much work already. Things got much harder when we had our third recently but we got control of the ship again pretty fast. we're exhausted and would rather not, but we need to.

And I promise you that my boys are normal crazy boys - they love to shout (all the type if we let them), run and climb everything and get physical. You can do it, OP.

You may run a tight ship but you need to work on your reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now we know why we couldn't get a babysitter when we said we had 3yo and 5yo boys We said they were really well behaved but I guess nobody believed us.

OP, we would demand a written apology from each of them (yes, even the 3 yo - he should be able to write 'sorry' and her name on some paper even if it takes a while) and keep them in timeout x5 sequentially (one for each bad thing plus the refusal to do timeout originally). If they scream or come out, time starts from scratch. One min of timeout per year of age (so 25 mins for 5yo). they must be very bored for the time, no toys etc. I would also be refusing screentime for an entire month. (yes, I mean an entire month).

People always compliment our kids on their behavior, say how sweet they are, and this is why. We run a tight ship. That type of crap would not fly here. Not even a little bit. and it's a slippery slope. You need to keep them in check. These days for us it's just maintenance because we've put in so much work already. Things got much harder when we had our third recently but we got control of the ship again pretty fast. we're exhausted and would rather not, but we need to.

And I promise you that my boys are normal crazy boys - they love to shout (all the type if we let them), run and climb everything and get physical. You can do it, OP.

^ argh I meant "all the time if we let them".

[Anonymous]

It's pretty clear the two of you are struggling a bit on how to parent. Your dh just ignores it and you jump to ridiculous punishments. I'm guessing this is partly why your kids don't behave.

It's great you are seeing someone about the issues, but do they also help with parenting issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear the two of you are struggling a bit on how to parent. Your dh just ignores it and you jump to ridiculous punishments. I'm guessing this is partly why your kids don't behave.

It's great you are seeing someone about the issues, but do they also help with parenting issues?

You mean the gift card thing? It wasn't my idea but it's not "ridiculous" at all. I think it's actually a great idea. Adults buy gift cards and cards as part of an apology all the time. Natural consequences is very appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good paddling.

They would be standing for the next week. Ehatchortid children and it is your fault because you have allowed them to be Feral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good paddling.

They would be standing for the next week. Ehatchortid children and it is your fault because you have allowed them to be Feral.

Horrid children^^

[Anonymous]

Please read Janet Lansbury - No Bad Kids. The answers to this thread are disturbing. There are deeper issues going on here than simply "behavior" that needs to be "disciplined."

I'm not saying they have a disorder, but this needs to be taken seriously. No quick fix.

[Anonymous]

My two brothers and I treated babysitters like that and worse. Threw books down the stairs at them. Hid from them. I could go on and on. So my parents got an older woman instead of a teenager. That poor lady literally left and went home a few hours before my parents returned.

What did my parents do? They quit going out. I don't recommend that, although we mostly turned out fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two brothers and I treated babysitters like that and worse. Threw books down the stairs at them. Hid from them. I could go on and on. So my parents got an older woman instead of a teenager. That poor lady literally left and went home a few hours before my parents returned.

What did my parents do? They quit going out. I don't recommend that, although we mostly turned out fine

Yeah, OP's kids were badly behaved but hardly the worst.

So many people seem to have no idea how to parent and no perspective. That includes OP and everyone else on this thread, too.

[Anonymous]

I’m just guessing there have been a ton of different sitters over the years...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are gonna cut our losses on ever expecting her to take a job with us again, but do want to teach kids a lesson. Making the older one write an apology note and stay in room until it's done.

The younger one can draw a picture as an apology. Hopefully you tipped well.

People tip babysitters?

[Anonymous]

OP again, to all those who asked why we left kids with this sitter in particular, we'd had her several times before and everything had gone well. I don't question her in the slightest, but rather our kids/our parenting -- which yes is reason we are seeing behaviorist in first place.

Note and gift card (on my dime after DH accused me of cruel and unusual punishment) delivered, obviously no shows or treats this evening.

[Anonymous]

OP you set up the babysitter and your kids to fail. YOU owe her an apology. Did you let her know one of your children has behavioral/compulsive issues? And leave the poor 3 yo out of it. They’re going to go along with older sibling, not the sitter.