How did you go NC with your estranged parent?

[Anonymous]

Did you just change your number and/or moved house? Did you prepare friends or other family in advance to minimize attempts by the parent to triangulate ("Hi Jane, can you get in touch with Larla? I can't reach her").

[Anonymous]

We went into federal witness protection and now live in South America.

Come on, OP, grow up and just deal with your parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think if you go NC with a parent, you have to be prepared to lose other additional family members as well. It’s not usually so clear cut.

[Anonymous]

My parents are divorced and I went NC with my mother - it wasn’t really on purpose, but she was so mean to me I just stopped calling and eventually the communication stopped. I don’t talk to her relatives anymore though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went into federal witness protection and now live in South America.

Come on, OP, grow up and just deal with your parents.

No need to be an a**.

[Anonymous]

The PP has a point. If you're going to go NO CONTACT with a parent then the reason needs to be significant. Most people need some help thinking that through because there are ramifications. OP hasn't said anything about therapy or consequences or getting help for herself. Therapy for herself should be her first step. Otherwise she comes across as immature and emotionally stunted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP has a point. If you're going to go NO CONTACT with a parent then the reason needs to be significant. Most people need some help thinking that through because there are ramifications. OP hasn't said anything about therapy or consequences or getting help for herself. Therapy for herself should be her first step. Otherwise she comes across as immature and emotionally stunted.

Yes, and maligning the OP without knowing her story is very mature

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP has a point. If you're going to go NO CONTACT with a parent then the reason needs to be significant. Most people need some help thinking that through because there are ramifications. OP hasn't said anything about therapy or consequences or getting help for herself. Therapy for herself should be her first step. Otherwise she comes across as immature and emotionally stunted.

This is the OP. Yes, I am already in therapy but am also dealing with PTSD after a very miserable visit with my mother a couple of months ago. I have been getting flashbacks of her anger and violence toward me over the years and I am done. She has been calling me to ask for money and sounds saccharine sweet over the phone. It's the Jekyll and Hyde duality which I find hypocritical and psychologically damaging. She's been known to contact people I know with random texts like "Please forgive me" which freaks them out. I thought about writing a letter but I know that will really freak her out to know that I am abandoning her for real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP has a point. If you're going to go NO CONTACT with a parent then the reason needs to be significant. Most people need some help thinking that through because there are ramifications. OP hasn't said anything about therapy or consequences or getting help for herself. Therapy for herself should be her first step. Otherwise she comes across as immature and emotionally stunted.

This is the OP. Yes, I am already in therapy but am also dealing with PTSD after a very miserable visit with my mother a couple of months ago. I have been getting flashbacks of her anger and violence toward me over the years and I am done. She has been calling me to ask for money and sounds saccharine sweet over the phone. It's the Jekyll and Hyde duality which I find hypocritical and psychologically damaging. She's been known to contact people I know with random texts like "Please forgive me" which freaks them out. I thought about writing a letter but I know that will really freak her out to know that I am abandoning her for real.

Do you think you need a better therapist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP has a point. If you're going to go NO CONTACT with a parent then the reason needs to be significant. Most people need some help thinking that through because there are ramifications. OP hasn't said anything about therapy or consequences or getting help for herself. Therapy for herself should be her first step. Otherwise she comes across as immature and emotionally stunted.

This is the OP. Yes, I am already in therapy but am also dealing with PTSD after a very miserable visit with my mother a couple of months ago. I have been getting flashbacks of her anger and violence toward me over the years and I am done. She has been calling me to ask for money and sounds saccharine sweet over the phone. It's the Jekyll and Hyde duality which I find hypocritical and psychologically damaging. She's been known to contact people I know with random texts like "Please forgive me" which freaks them out. I thought about writing a letter but I know that will really freak her out to know that I am abandoning her for real.

Do you think you need a better therapist?

How is this helpful to the OP?

[Anonymous]

When a therapist isn’t helping where you need help, you fire them and try one who might be more successful with you.

[Anonymous]

I would block her number on your phone.

Tell the people close to you what is happening— mom May contact you about reaching out to me. I’m sorry you will be in an awkward position, but for my health I’ve decided I need a long, possible permanent break from her. And I’d appreciate it if you told her that you can’t help. And that you don’t tell me she contacted you.

[Anonymous]

This is really very sad all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really very sad all around.

Pray tell, why? What good does it do to maintain contact with someone abusive to their own children????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a therapist isn’t helping where you need help, you fire them and try one who might be more successful with you.

This sounds like what a narcissistic disordered person would say. Therapy isn't a cure-all. It's a process and it's not the fault of the therapist if OP isn't coping great.