husband and I really in a tough spot

[Anonymous]

I'm in a high powered job. I hate it. I bring in 2/3 income. husband has been supportive for years for me to "do something else" , but never been supportive in terms of stepping up his own job. We are not super rich, we need my income to make our family work (we have two kids). His job is now looking uncertain- could end. He isn't motivated to really do anything about it- he is all caught up on the process of his resume, cover letter, but not showing ambition to do anything. I'm getting more and more depressed because i'm feeling so much pressure and feeling more trapped than ever in my job. I resent him because i feel like i have sacrificed myself and time for myself and my family for this job, with the hopes i could leave it. And now his job is uncertain and he is not even really trying. We are fighting. a lot. I need a path forward. I love my husband. i'm really scared though.

[Anonymous]

What are the biggest pressures on your income? Housing? Child care? Can you move to a less expensive house/area?

[Anonymous]

Scale back your lifestyle and then look for a lower pressure job. This seems obvious. Not sure why it's so difficult to see a path forward. Most men deal with this kind of work and income pressure all day, every day.

[Anonymous]

Lower pressure job for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scale back your lifestyle and then look for a lower pressure job. This seems obvious. Not sure why it's so difficult to see a path forward. Most men deal with this kind of work and income pressure all day, every day.

I wouldn't minimize it like the PP does, but it's true that men feel like this every day. In particular, this sentence, "I'm getting more and more depressed because i'm feeling so much pressure and feeling more trapped than ever in my job."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scale back your lifestyle and then look for a lower pressure job. This seems obvious. Not sure why it's so difficult to see a path forward. Most men deal with this kind of work and income pressure all day, every day.

Agreed. Living in a house with a big mortgage? Sell and downsize. Everyone will be ok. Don't drive yourself to an early grave to keep up with the Joneses.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by "make our family work"?

Are you saying there's no fat in your budget and you can't cut your family's spending?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scale back your lifestyle and then look for a lower pressure job. This seems obvious. Not sure why it's so difficult to see a path forward. Most men deal with this kind of work and income pressure all day, every day.

I wouldn't minimize it like the PP does, but it's true that men feel like this every day. In particular, this sentence, "I'm getting more and more depressed because i'm feeling so much pressure and feeling more trapped than ever in my job."

I would give the same advice if it were a man writing this. Cliche as it sounds, no one lays on their deathbed and wishes they'd worked more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scale back your lifestyle and then look for a lower pressure job. This seems obvious. Not sure why it's so difficult to see a path forward. Most men deal with this kind of work and income pressure all day, every day.

I wouldn't minimize it like the PP does, but it's true that men feel like this every day. In particular, this sentence, "I'm getting more and more depressed because i'm feeling so much pressure and feeling more trapped than ever in my job."

Yup, see Christopher Watts and the like. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scale back your lifestyle and then look for a lower pressure job. This seems obvious. Not sure why it's so difficult to see a path forward. Most men deal with this kind of work and income pressure all day, every day.

I wouldn't minimize it like the PP does, but it's true that men feel like this every day. In particular, this sentence, "I'm getting more and more depressed because i'm feeling so much pressure and feeling more trapped than ever in my job."

I would give the same advice if it were a man writing this. Cliche as it sounds, no one lays on their deathbed and wishes they'd worked more.

+1, from a DW who makes 3/4 of our HHI. It's a high pressure place to be but in reality the only option is to keep it up or decide you can live on less, whether you're a man or a woman.

[Anonymous]

If you love him, understand that it's either you earn the money/lifestyle, or you scale back. I'm the sole income earner in my family (single parent) and sure I hate the pressure but it's high pressure or crappier lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

welcome to equality. That is how men have felt for ever. All the pressure to bring in the income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:welcome to equality. That is how men have felt for ever. All the pressure to bring in the income.

LOL if this was "equality" the responses to OP would be 40% people calling for her to tell her husband he better not get fat and keep giving her head. Is this your first time on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

If you are not a high earner in a high powered job, change jobs, simple. Sounds like you are well paid and like the position of power, so stop complaining. He has a job. He may only bring in $100k to your $300K but $100K is a good salary.

[Anonymous]

relax, it will all work out