Entering 5th grade and hairy - do I intervene?

[Anonymous]

My daughter is entering 5th grade, almost 11. Probably hitting puberty this year and has hair above her lip and on her legs. She doesn’t seem to care, but I’m worried when she goes back to school kids may say something. Should I say something and take care of it before school starts or not say anything at all since she seems ok with it? I’m so torn but she’s such a strong confident girl and I don’t want her to start having any body image issues.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I teach sixth grade. The girls are all over the place in physical development and caring. She’ll either notice and care enough to handle it, notice and not care, or not notice and not care.

[Anonymous]

Yes, start teaching her now.

[Anonymous]

I briskly told my daughter at the same age she had a mustache while we were at ultra and bought her a bottle of nair for the face. She was abashed at first but now she asks me to buy it for her when she’s low. I haven’t noticed leg hair but she may shave as well- I just keep everything in the closet she and her older sister need, then when we are out buying supplies I just ask them what they need/ pads? Razors? Do you prefer shaving cream or gel? I try to keep it as matter of fact and normal

[Anonymous]

I posted something similar about DD last summer except she was younger. We are very hairy people. We discussed her options and I told her what I currently do and what I did in the past for hair removal. She wanted to try the creams on her lip and legs and I helped for a while. Now DD has decided not to do anything and that the hair is not bothering her. Also fine. She knows I am here to help if she ever wants to remove hair again but I am not forcing her to do so. She has quite a bit on her lip and her legs keep getting hairier. I admire girls today for being so self confident in who they are naturally and how she stays this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I teach sixth grade. The girls are all over the place in physical development and caring. She’ll either notice and care enough to handle it, notice and not care, or not notice and not care.

Useless advice. No one is telling her that she has to shave. OP, give her the tools and advice she needs. It’s up to her if she wants to use it. My mother did like a previous poster, she taught us how to do everything, kept everything in the closet and we used it as needed.

[Anonymous]

I came back from summer camp between 5th and 6th grade shaving. My mom said "Now you have to do it for the rest of your life!" Lol. Just let her know that it is a good time to start adding in more grooming habits and that if she wants, you can help her. Explain to her about hair removal/bleaching and what would work for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I teach sixth grade. The girls are all over the place in physical development and caring. She’ll either notice and care enough to handle it, notice and not care, or not notice and not care.

She won’t notice - that would be happening now. It’s her peers that will notice, comment and that is what will make her want to act. As a sixth grade teacher you should know exactly how cruel kids can be. Unless you’re the type of teacher that ignores kids getting picked on.

OP, explain to your daughter the options and what you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I teach sixth grade. The girls are all over the place in physical development and caring. She’ll either notice and care enough to handle it, notice and not care, or not notice and not care.

She won’t notice - that would be happening now. It’s her peers that will notice, comment and that is what will make her want to act. As a sixth grade teacher you should know exactly how cruel kids can be. Unless you’re the type of teacher that ignores kids getting picked on.

OP, explain to your daughter the options and what you do.

Oddly, that’s not the type of bullying we see. Might be our program? But my hairy DD didn’t care to shave at that age either and she’s at a completely different school.

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old DD (riding 7th) doesn’t shave her legs. The hair just doesn’t bother her and nobody has mentioned it. I’ve told her that she can shave her legs when she feels ready for it, and have left it up to her.

Her underarms and bikini area, on the other hand — I did encourage her to shave them because she had a lot of dark hair and I admit that I don’t like bushy armpits or noticeable pubic hair. I think it would cause an issue at the pool, quite frankly. So she shaves underarms and bikini area, as much as it sucks.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is the same age, same grade. I mentioned to her that I see she has some hair on her legs now and friends may start talking about how they shave their legs. That was it. We recently discussed getting your period and I made her a little “emergency” bag to put in her backpack. Quick convo and moved on. She did throw me off in 3rd grade when she asked for a bra because her 2 friends had one and they talked about it. Now I know they talk about these things so I tossed it out there in case she wants to discuss in the future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I teach sixth grade. The girls are all over the place in physical development and caring. She’ll either notice and care enough to handle it, notice and not care, or not notice and not care.

How is a 5th grader suppose to "care enough to handle it"? She's going to break into her piggy bank and get a taxi to the store to buy some razors? Make her own waxing appointment? Please. That was my mother's attitude about me shaving, wearing a bra, and getting my period. I had no money and no stores within walking distance. Guess who was teased and stuffed a lot of toilet paper into her pants throughout middle school?

OP, please offer your daughter choices and the supplies she needs to take care of herself in whatever way she chooses. You could just say "I was wondering whether you want to start shaving this summer. It's totally up to you but we can get you an electric razor/whatever if you are curious about it."

[Anonymous]

Op here- thank you all for the advice and support. I love the idea of having a cabinet with everything she needs when she needs it.

[Anonymous]

Related, my mother didn’t want me to shave. Thought I was too young. I was teased at school. My mom made a huge fuss over it. Gave me razors for Christmas telling me I could now shave.

This is all very controlling, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I teach sixth grade. The girls are all over the place in physical development and caring. She’ll either notice and care enough to handle it, notice and not care, or not notice and not care.

This may be true but boys will be relentless with making fun of her behind her back. Do her a favor and deal with it. As a guy I never made fun of anyone mostly because I was just an average kid. Years later and I still remember how cruel others would be to other kids, including girls. Kids are the worst.