Entering 5th grade and hairy - do I intervene?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Sweetheart, I feel uncomfortable with how your body looks. I’m going to show you how to change it so you look more normal and attractive. You’ll need to do this the rest of your life, but you’ll thank me for it some day.”

F that noise. Body hair is normal. Don't put your own body shame on your daughters.

No, lip hair on a girl is NOT normal. I would be appalled if that came out of me.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read the replies but YES. intervene, no question. I have rising fifth graders (twins- girl and boy) and they have both commented (to me) in the girl in their class who has a moustache. I’ve corrected them but yeah- the others kids are noticing for sure. I’d definitely take care of this before she gets picked on.

Not the answer I’d like to give, but it’s an honest one.

[Anonymous]

Intervene. I’m so glad my mom did for me well before it became an issue. I was young for grade and also hit puberty late, but she made sure when I was going into 5th grade that I was wearing deodorant and a (training) bra, and that I was shaving legs and using acne products going into 6th grade. As such, I was never the smelly kid, never had nipples showing through my shirt, never had hugely hairy legs, had decent enough skin although standards were lower back then and fewer kids went to a dermatologist for acne. I never would have noticed on my own at that age. She didn’t portray it in a “shaming” way, just as a matter of fact and what you do when you’re going through puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Sweetheart, I feel uncomfortable with how your body looks. I’m going to show you how to change it so you look more normal and attractive. You’ll need to do this the rest of your life, but you’ll thank me for it some day.”

F that noise. Body hair is normal. Don't put your own body shame on your daughters.

No, lip hair on a girl is NOT normal. I would be appalled if that came out of me.

Well you are probably a fair, Caucasian minority on this planet. Does that make the majority abnormal? Look I buy into the western patriarchy blah blah beauty standards as much as the next gal. I would t dream of not threading my upper lip. But I own that this is my hang up bc of said beauty ideals. I know full well that there shouldn't be anything wrong with female hair.

[Anonymous]

This is a hard question. Some posters are fairly adamant about their opinions (surprise, surprise) but I find the possible answers to be a bit more gray.

Obviously, your goal is to support your DD as much as possible. You don't want to damage her body image and you also don't want her to get hurt by, let's be honest, potentially ferocious middle school girls. High school is more the age when you own yourself. Middle school is rather more the time to scurry through it without the least amount of damage.

5th graders might not assign a negative value to hairiness. You probably have a year or so to think it over. But, when 6th grade/7th grade starts to hit, that may change. What is least harmful? Pulling DD aside and saying, hey, I love you and you're awesome and here's a pro tip to duck some shallow jerks, might be a good call.

[Anonymous]

I started shaving my legs in fifth grade (but I was an early bloomer who needed a bra at age 9 and got my period before my 11th birthday). I went on a field trip my my fifth grader this June and noticed that none of the girls had shaved their legs. Hair over the upper lip, however, is more likely to get a girl teased. Unless you’re talking about a significant amount of hair, I’d probably just show her how to bleach it and leave it up to her. I’d show her as though I was sharing part of my own grooming routine with her rather than telling her that she really needs to do it. I’ll admit, I was relieved when dd came to me and asked how she could get rid of her unibrow at age 9. I didn’t want to point it out, but of course I didn’t want her to be teased either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Sweetheart, I feel uncomfortable with how your body looks. I’m going to show you how to change it so you look more normal and attractive. You’ll need to do this the rest of your life, but you’ll thank me for it some day.”

F that noise. Body hair is normal. Don't put your own body shame on your daughters.

No, lip hair on a girl is NOT normal. I would be appalled if that came out of me.

Well you are probably a fair, Caucasian minority on this planet. Does that make the majority abnormal? Look I buy into the western patriarchy blah blah beauty standards as much as the next gal. I would t dream of not threading my upper lip. But I own that this is my hang up bc of said beauty ideals. I know full well that there shouldn't be anything wrong with female hair.

And the PP you're responding to knows full well too; she's being a jackass.

[Anonymous]

Don't do anything yet. She's in 5th grade! Wait till school starts and see what actually happens. In this area, the chances of no one giving her a hard time are pretty good. I would take a wait-and-see attitude because we can't protect our kids from every bit of criticism preemptively

[Anonymous]

I have a rising 5th grader with exactly the same issues. I noticed the upper lip hair one morning before school last spring and just used a razer to take it off and it stayed fine for a couple of months. I think the hair grows in spurts so it goes from nothing to a lot quickly. I'll probably do a cream next time, but there were no ill effects from the razer (and it was simple).

She also has underarm hair which we've shaved a couple of times and she now asks me to shave occasionally.

I don't think she's been bugged about it, but who knows. Kids are mean and our children don't always tell us when they've been insulted. My aim with the upper lip hair and underarm hair was to keep that from happening in the first place. So I personally didn't want to wait til she said something. (Also, she may not know that there are options to remove it.)

I just noticed thick leg hair and haven't said or done anything about it. It's thick enough that shaving seems like a reasonable thing, but then all little girls have leg hair so I don't think she feels like an outlier right now, though it's definitely on the thick side. Debating that, but since we're heading into pants season soon I'll probably wait til next summer to broach that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a rising 5th grader with exactly the same issues. I noticed the upper lip hair one morning before school last spring and just used a razer to take it off and it stayed fine for a couple of months. I think the hair grows in spurts so it goes from nothing to a lot quickly. I'll probably do a cream next time, but there were no ill effects from the razer (and it was simple).

She also has underarm hair which we've shaved a couple of times and she now asks me to shave occasionally.

I don't think she's been bugged about it, but who knows. Kids are mean and our children don't always tell us when they've been insulted. My aim with the upper lip hair and underarm hair was to keep that from happening in the first place. So I personally didn't want to wait til she said something. (Also, she may not know that there are options to remove it.)

I just noticed thick leg hair and haven't said or done anything about it. It's thick enough that shaving seems like a reasonable thing, but then all little girls have leg hair so I don't think she feels like an outlier right now, though it's definitely on the thick side. Debating that, but since we're heading into pants season soon I'll probably wait til next summer to broach that one.

Why would you take a razor to her upper lip?? Are you nuts? You either wax it or bleach it! Never shave the upper lip!

[Anonymous]

Okay what about a slight unibrow? Rising 6th grader said she doesn’t care about it, but she’s going to middle school. Middle schoolers can be mean. Do I just take her? Or wait until she wants it take care of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a rising 5th grader with exactly the same issues. I noticed the upper lip hair one morning before school last spring and just used a razer to take it off and it stayed fine for a couple of months. I think the hair grows in spurts so it goes from nothing to a lot quickly. I'll probably do a cream next time, but there were no ill effects from the razer (and it was simple).

She also has underarm hair which we've shaved a couple of times and she now asks me to shave occasionally.

I don't think she's been bugged about it, but who knows. Kids are mean and our children don't always tell us when they've been insulted. My aim with the upper lip hair and underarm hair was to keep that from happening in the first place. So I personally didn't want to wait til she said something. (Also, she may not know that there are options to remove it.)

I just noticed thick leg hair and haven't said or done anything about it. It's thick enough that shaving seems like a reasonable thing, but then all little girls have leg hair so I don't think she feels like an outlier right now, though it's definitely on the thick side. Debating that, but since we're heading into pants season soon I'll probably wait til next summer to broach that one.

Why would you take a razor to her upper lip?? Are you nuts? You either wax it or bleach it! Never shave the upper lip!

Naw, it's fine, especially at that age. It's not like she's going to have a 5 o'clock shadow. And it's not like it's going to "grow in thicker." Leave the hot stuff and chemicals for when she's older. For now, a quick razor is perfect.

[Anonymous]

I bought a Gigi wax warmer and wax my daughter's legs for her. It works really well.

[Anonymous]

Any thoughts on what to do with upper lip hair that is definitely there but also super blond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any thoughts on what to do with upper lip hair that is definitely there but also super blond?

Leave it alone unless it's bothering her.