"Our family is complete"

[Anonymous]

WHY is it a thing now that when referring to their 2nd or 3rd child people tell you "now our family is complete." Ah, so your husband got snipped? I mean really, TMI, I don't need to know this information and I'm not sure why people feel the need to declare it with a pregnancy or birth announcement.

[Anonymous]

If anything, it’s insulting to the first child, who apparently, wasn’t good enough.

It’s up there with “rainbow baby”, the baby we just may not have even had if the baby we actually wanted had been born.

[Anonymous]

And "forever house."

[Anonymous]

I think you’re making this into something it’s not. All it means is don’t ask us about having more kids as we are done.

[Anonymous]

Meh. Probably just trying to head off the inevitable "are you going to try for a boy/girl/third/fourth" conversations in 18 months. Pretty harmless as far as TMI goes.

[Anonymous]

I don't say that, but I do get asked all the time if we are going to have another so I get why others may want to put that out there. BTW, people who ask directly if we are having another get to find out the vasectomy. Lucky them!

[Anonymous]

Because people will ask if you are having more and this is a relatively innocuous way to say, we're done.

[Anonymous]

So don't do it yourself!

[Anonymous]

My younger child would never have been born if I hadn’t miscarried. She knows this and has no issues about it. She also realizes that neither she nor her sister would have been born if I’d selected a different undergrad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything, it’s insulting to the first child, who apparently, wasn’t good enough.

It’s up there with “rainbow baby”, the baby we just may not have even had if the baby we actually wanted had been born.

I don't say any of this but I think it's ridiculous way to think about it. By your logic, any kid with a sibling should be feeling like they weren't good enough.

Rainbow baby does not mean that they baby they miscarried was the one they actually wanted. It means this is the baby after a miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything, it’s insulting to the first child, who apparently, wasn’t good enough.

It’s up there with “rainbow baby”, the baby we just may not have even had if the baby we actually wanted had been born.

A rainbow baby comes after a miscarriage or stillbirth. It's the rainbow after the storm. I don't take offense at all to this term.

[Anonymous]

I tell my kids this when they ask about having another baby, a little brother or sister.

[Anonymous]

Totally see the point about people asking if you're having another. I get asked all the time if we're going to have a baby.

I know it's just to make conversation, but I personally don't feel comfortable answering the question. I wish people wouldn't ask it's so awkward to always have to justify your choices regarding having kids.

[Anonymous]

Because otherwise people ask "So when are you going for #2/#3/any plans to add a 4th?"

[Anonymous]

Wait, what?

It's not a thing "now." I've heard this phrase for decades. It's just people saying they're satisfied with the size of their family and don't want more kids.