Vent - Instilling a love of reading

[Anonymous]

I'm a bookworm from birth. I followed all the recommendations for my kids. Read to them from birth. Nightly routine involved reading to them. Took them to the library often. Took them to bookstores. Let them see me reading. Let them read what they want. I read a page; they read a page. Left interesting-looking books around the house. And on and on. They still like being read to but they don't like reading. I waited for them to want to read on their own, but it never happened. Now, I make them read over their protests. I still read to them and we still do audiobooks, but I also make them read written words of their choice for 20 min/day.

This vent is because people are always insisting that you can't force them because you need to instill a love of reading. Guess what, not everyone has a love of reading just waiting to come out. Most of the adults I know rarely read for pleasure. No one is telling me not to make my kids do math for fear of killing their love of math. Sometimes you have to give up on making someone love something and just make them do it because it's good for them.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

You still won't end up with teens or adults that read, so I don't really know what you think you are accomplishing ?

[Anonymous]

Most of the adults you know don’t read for pleasure? Really? All of my friends read for pleasure. I literally can’t think of any who don’t.

I definitely judge people who don’t read, but your kids still have plenty of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the adults you know don’t read for pleasure? Really? All of my friends read for pleasure. I literally can’t think of any who don’t.

I definitely judge people who don’t read, but your kids still have plenty of time.

I wonder if OP means novels? I could see there being a cohort of people who don't or rarely read novels, but it seems unusual to me to not know anyone who reads ANYTHING (online newspaper/magazine, at the very least) for pleasure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You still won't end up with teens or adults that read, so I don't really know what you think you are accomplishing ?

Exactly. I guess you can have the right to say you tried, but...

Try to remember: your kids are not you. They are different people, with different interests, different strengths. SO you were a bookworm? SO what?

I am a Lit professor. I clearly think reading is everything. But man. You are not a better, moral person if you enjoy reading on your downtime. You are just a person who likes to read.

[Anonymous]

Are your kids 18? Your job isn't done until then. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

My DH doe snot read for pleasure. He will sometimes bring a book or read something on vacation because he's bored because I am reading. Or because he knows that he should be reading more. (he reads online sports message boards about his college team, so he is capable of reading for "pleasure.")

My DD is 13 and loves stories. She likes being read to, but only rarely reads novels. She loves graphic novels, though.

My DS is 10 and loves to read. He is a massive fan of certain authors and he and I go to author events, book signings, readings, etc. We pass books back and forth. He has definite interests and stays in his niches, for the most part. He won't read if he doesn't like it - a great disappointment that he won't read the Naria books (too boring, he says, but meanwhile my DD actually did like the first 3 of those).

My DH's family's house is nearly devoid of books. No one in the family reads for pleasure. My family's house is crammed in ever nook and cranny with books. So it all just depends.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear you. I did all of those things with me kids and now, at ages 12 and 15, I just cannot get them to read. It’s heartbreaking to me. I try and try to no avail.

[Anonymous]

My brother is a the chair of a physics department you’ve heard of. He never liked to read for pleasure and still doesn’t. Not everyone enjoys it and that’s ok.

[Anonymous]

I’m a bookworm, my DH reads a ton, and our child hates to read. Novel, non fiction, graphic novel, audiobook, doesn’t matter. He won’t do any of it unless forced. We did everything they say to do, but the kid just isn’t bookish. But he has so many strengths and joys I don’t have, and it is his life, not mine. He’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I read a lot when I was a kid, but I still distinctly remember my curiosity being lit when I was 11yo for SF/F just by listening to the book conversations of my parents and their friends.

I cried when my older DS was diagnosed with severe dyslexia because it hurt to imagine DS not having that kind of opportunity. But now both DS's have been known to tote books around, pack them in their bags for school, and bring them on vacation. They're not the kind of books that I was reading at their age and not what I would have picked, but they're what THEY picked.

The number one indicator of enjoying reading is growing up surrounded by books -- not being read to or anything else.

[Anonymous]

I think you have succeeded already in that your kids still like to be read to. There are lots of ways to access stories/ written words and audio books are great. I am also an avid reader and parent of dyslexic child. And I learned the joy of audiobooks from her.

I will also ask, have you tried having your kids write their own stories? That involvement can keep them engaged with the written word and journaling can be helpful for processing emotions etc.

I do have to say that my dyslexic child’s love of books and writing gives me a special joy since it is so hard-fought.

But all of the PP’s are so right that people vary a lot in this.

[Anonymous]

Op, I got lucky in that my kids both love to read. I never have to force it. I’m not sure what I would do in your situation.

Are yours doing well in school? If they are, would you be willing to take a break from forcing them? Continue reading to them every night but take a break for the summer. Go to the bookstore and library, but don’t push. See what happens?

[Anonymous]

I also get annoyed by the assumption that all it takes to have a kid who loves reading is for a parent to do X, Y, Z. Yes, it's important to do that to create the best conditions for reading but after that it's up to the kid. And, some kids, even with the best reading-supportive environment will not like reading.

I'm a children's librarian and have two teenagers. Of course I did all the things you are supposed to do and read all the time myself. I have one kid who loves to read and one who only reads the minimum required. I wish he loved to read but that's not who he is.

Parents can control some things, like the environment and opportunities you provide, but ultimately you can't make someone enjoy something they don't.