Vent - Instilling a love of reading

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bookworm from birth. I followed all the recommendations for my kids. Read to them from birth. Nightly routine involved reading to them. Took them to the library often. Took them to bookstores. Let them see me reading. Let them read what they want. I read a page; they read a page. Left interesting-looking books around the house. And on and on. They still like being read to but they don't like reading. I waited for them to want to read on their own, but it never happened. Now, I make them read over their protests. I still read to them and we still do audiobooks, but I also make them read written words of their choice for 20 min/day.

This vent is because people are always insisting that you can't force them because you need to instill a love of reading. Guess what, not everyone has a love of reading just waiting to come out. Most of the adults I know rarely read for pleasure. No one is telling me not to make my kids do math for fear of killing their love of math. Sometimes you have to give up on making someone love something and just make them do it because it's good for them.

Yeah, don't worry, let go, because this : I make them read over their protests. will have the opposite result.
Kids need breaks from everything, everybody needs breaks from even the most beloved activity. After period of break, a person can go back to it but if you insist on them to go on while they wan to lay off for a while it is not good for the long run.
Chances are your interest in books "from the birth" was caused by something that your kids do not experience or did not experience..
perhaps your parents did not spend as much time with you when you were a kid so you found a new faithful and steady companion - a book,
perhaps you did not have friends.. but book was a friend whenever you needed, perhaps you did not have other forms of entertainment and keeping your mind preoccupied like kids have now.

A book in a way was and is just one of the ways of keeping one busy and or educated. Not every book educates you, many if not most are just keeping you buys. Jus sheer fact that a kid does not read a book does not mean that he is not becoming erudite. You must realize that
there are piles of people who read novels that do nothing much to your brain aside from keeping it busy. I do not discount books, I love books but they are food for the brain and just as you can have organic food, you can have a junk food so the sheer process of reading is like eating, it is not good for the sake of doing it.

I would think that not pushing them will do more good then pushing. Especially now when school is so demanding all year long and kids are so busy, they really want and need a break during the summer. Some will pick up a book, other's wont'. The same kid sometimes will, other times won't. I have a kid who will have a month without touching a page, and then all of the sudden out of the blue will grab some book or will need to go and get a specific book and then the book will not be put down until it is finished, it is like reading frenzy.
I don't regulate process after the preteen years. I may suggest a book or share some review or stop by at the library or bookstore to browse but we do not leave with the book every visit. Sometimes we just sit and browse and read bits and pieces for fun.. but this is far from being forced process.

Don't push too much. Times are changing, it is not what it was in precompute and pre clell era. Books were the only source of information pretty much and entertainment aside from tv that was not always at it's best. Now kids have more ways to get the same results.
If you think of it, book was just a medium.. to communicate between people. It was what it was invented in the times when there were no other forms of indirect communication. It was not perfect, but it was the best the times had to offer.
Now it is different, for any science book, they became obsolete almost while in the printing press because they can not be updated in real time like online information. So for the rest, the novels .. and all other pleasure reading, there is no urgency. But at the same time
you got Netflix and Amazon when a person who is busy can consume the same amount of fun in fraction of time.

Books are wonderful and they are here to stay because many people love the feeling of tactile contact with the book but it most certainly will be different process and will take different role and place in the next generation that had in previous generation. They are still working on it, they have to find and fit in the way they use the books. It will be natural process and you can not force it. Just like movie theaters, and paintings, paper photography and bicycles, horse carriages had to find their way to fit into modern world that brought tv, photography, digital photography cars..

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I think it's just the way things are now. Sure, there are a few kids that really love reading and do it lots, but most kids only do it when they are bored.

I grew up in a no TV family in the 80's/90's and all of us read a lot for entertainment. In my 20's I continued to read a lot for entertainment because I didn't have a personal computer and TV shows weren't on demand - you had to watch whatever was scheduled. But in my 30's and now early 40's I just don't read that much. It's more entertaining to watch whatever program I want on Netflix, Amazon, etc. And I can watch in spurts, I don't have to sit down and watch it all at the same time. What's the pro to reading? And I think the kids realize this.

You need a screen free house and less scheduled activities if you want your kids to read more.

[Anonymous]

My kids (boys 9 and 11) read for hours a day. The younger one started reading at 2 and is just a natural who was plowing through chapter books at 4. The older one has come around to it.

Once they could both read chapter books (so five years ago), I made reading the boredom solution. So, if they are going to be bored (in the car/restaurant/brother’s sports practice/in an airport), they better bring a book because that’s the only option. I despise seeing kids with their faces stuck in phones and iPads.

[Anonymous]

My kids love to read..............screens!

[Anonymous]

Read The Read Aloud Revival, she has some great advice for getting kids to enjoy reading.

[Anonymous]

It's possible that deeply attentive reading is just a minority pursuit by nature. Alan Jacobs made that argument, though I think there's a compelling counter-argument.

Contra the "let them pick whatever they want!" argument, I've seen a compelling argument in many places that taste has to be caught and taught. Hand kids the books that you think are the absolute best at their level that are somewhat in their general interests and make the alternative boredom. Not sure it works perfectly, but it's definitely been the best thing for my not-naturally-inclined readers (2/3 of my kids).

[Anonymous]

I can empathize op. I read to my son every night and I’ve tried all the tricks. I can’t even get him to pick out books at the library. He will only pick books that are facing out on display. He will not turn his head to read titles. On his summer plans there was a line for this statement “ and I’m going to read 0 books this summer”

[Anonymous]

I am PP who said you need boredom and downtime, screen-free environment also helps. I disagree with the people who say the book is “just” a medium. Books and other long form print media are part of a tradition in which longer arguments can be developed and verbal representations of life that require extended time to unfold can be made. There are some ways of thought that you just won’t be able to get from other media. Reading also helps you develop a lifelong habit of active learning and thinking — not just passive consumption of entertainment.

OP, you may have already tried graphic novels, nonfiction, and other things... I would consider cutting back on the screen time and really tuning in to what might motivate them to read. Screen time is highly addictive and the patterns of attention it sets up interfere with the ability to concentrate on longer trains of thought. The more time on video games and YouTube, the more painful reading a book will become.

[Anonymous]

The mom with the 9 and 11 yo kids is such a sanctimommy her post reads like satire. But I think it is fo real.

[Anonymous]

OP: I’ll go against the grain and say that I’m not sure that with youngish still kids who aren’t naturally good readers you’re doing things wrong. Growing up, my brothers didn’t like to read, because it was hard for them. I think in my older brothers case, he probably had some kind of mild LD. My parents (both big readers) weren’t sure what to do with them (and didn’t raise them any differently than me and I was and am a voracious reader). After awhile, they ultimately forced reading time because they were reading at/below grade level, particularly in terms of sped/fluency. Well, at around 14-15 for both of them, they suddenly started to enjoy reading right when they got “good” at it. Like, once it was easy, they could get into the stories (just like they always had been for books read aloud). Both still read for fun 20+ years post-leap. For one of my brothers, the leap triggered a huge academic turn around and ultimately lead to great career success: Now in the c-suite of a major advertising firm making well into the 7 figures a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a house full of books with a mom who loved to read. Now I love to read and read a lot. However, it’s almost always ebooks on my phone since I always have it with me. I’m worried I’m not setting the same kind of example my mom did. My kids are only 3. Anyone with older kids who mostly reads on their phone?

My husband and I read on Kindles. We called them our “books” when talking to our daughter. If you’re reading on your phone, emphasize your reading a book. For our daughter we insist on buying physical books and checking them out at the library. Also, when we read to her it’s mostly books but as she’s gotten older sometimes on the kindle. She loves to read and she’s mostly seen us reading a screen and not an actual book. Our house is filled with all her books!