Shall I keep the embryos? I know I don't want any more kids
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My DS is 14 months old and it's time to think whether I shall keep paying Shady Grove $50 a month for the 11 embryos in the freezer. Taking care of a baby/toddler has been overwhelming; my husband and I are pretty sure we don't want a second child. Is there any reason I should keep the embryos? |
Anonymous
|
Your son is still young; I would give it a few more years and then decide what to do with them. You don't want to have any regrets down the line and 11 embryos is a LOT.
|
Anonymous
|
Option Value.
I couldn’t imagine having another until my first was at least 18 months old. That number is different for everyone, but most people were in the “never again!” Phase at 14 months. Personally I would keep paying for at least 5 years. |
Anonymous
|
Have you given away all your baby clothes, swings, bouncers, etc?
If you haven’t gotten rid of all the sentimental baby stuff you’re not ready to permanently close the door on having children. $50/month is not much - especially considering how expensive it is to do IVF! |
Anonymous
| pretty sure is not sure. I would wait a year. |
Anonymous
| 14 months is so young! I couldn’t even think about having another until my first was 2. Now I have 3 and would have a 4th if time/money would allow. Give it 5 years. |
Anonymous
| Keep them for now. I wasn’t sure I wanted another and waited 4-5 yrs now I can’t. You’re way too early to make a decision. |
Anonymous
|
Imagine they are gone. Lost in a freak accident like an earthquake at the storage facility. See how you feel. You are also in the thick of it with a toddler. I started wanted a 2nd when my first was 18mo - which now seems crazy given that my second was very difficult from 18-24mo.
Look at pregnant women and see how you feel. When I started looking at pregnant women or women with tiny infants and thinking “thank goodness that’s not me” I knew I was done. We had 11 embryos thawed a few weeks after our 2nd child’s first birthday when I was 40. It didn’t feel sad even though I knew it meant we were really and finally done having biological children. It felt good and freeing because my family felt complete. I needed to wait until I was done with any “what ifs”. |
Anonymous
| I couldn’t even think about having another child the first two years. Now have a second one. I would sit on them till the worst is over, then reconsider. |
Anonymous
| Keep them for at least the next 2 years. |
Anonymous
Keep them! You don’t know how will feel in a couple of years, especially if your child starts “requesting” a brother or a sister 
|
Anonymous
| You could transfer them to Fairfax Cryobank and save a lot on the storage fees. That's what we did. However, discuss with your doctor at SG first to make sure you will not have any hiccups transferring back in if/when you want to go for an FET. I ended up having to pay $1000 and complete a lot of paperwork when I did this with my clinic. Still, a better option perhaps than totally discarding. |
Anonymous
Which negates all your savings. OP, I'd wait until you are 100% sure you are done. "Pretty sure" is not there. The cost of storage is WAY less than the cost of another round of fertility meds. I'd wait until your current child is 3 or 4. Then if you feel done still, donate the embryos then. |
Anonymous
Which is why I said she should ask her RE. And if she is pretty sure she doesn't want another (and ends up not using them) then she also obviously won't be paying that fee, if such a fee exists at SG. |
Anonymous
|
OP here. Thank you all for the advice. I will seriously consider keeping the embryos for another year or two. I actually have given away all the baby clothes and when I looked at pregnant women I had the "thank goodness it's not me" thought But I agree... I paid 30K for the IVF, why not pay $600 a year so I have an option down the road?
|