Moving back to daycare after public preK3?

[Anonymous]

We were thrilled to get a PreK3 spot for our son in a HRCS last year. He moved from a federal daycare that was good, not great, but was loving and familiar. We were, of course, excited not to pay for private daycare and didn't hesitate to move him.

Our son did fine at his school this year but there were lots of challenges. Our son has some sensory and speech issues and the school didn't handle it well- took months to be evaluated and the services are subpar. Plus, his class had 20-something kids which I know is the norm but the one assistant teacher spent most of her time corralling some of the more energetic kids (like mine) instead of doing the more focused one-on-one work he needs. The end result is that we aren't sure our son has gained much from going there and he definitely picked up some problematic behaviors (if anyone is off-task, he will happily join them, bad words, hitting incidents). Please know I am a former teacher and work in education- this is not an issue of me saying my kid is super special and deserved more attention than is possible in most public schools. We knew what we were getting into and just don't think it worked out well for our kid.

Our son went back to his daycare any time his school was closed and we noticed he did very well on his days there. During his last visit, he was more focused and excited about learning than I have ever seen (they send lots of pictures and videos) and had no behavioral problems. His class had only 8 kids. It made us seriously consider pulling him out of his school and going back to the daycare. It would be a huge financial stretch for us and we would seemingly just be kicking the can down the road as he would have to go back to public school for K. But we think maybe he just wasn't ready for a big class/school/lot of different kid personalities/need for more self-regulation and might be more ready at K.

Has anyone experienced something similar? What did you decide to do? My son loves his current teacher and his friends. The school community is lovely; we attend playdates and parties almost every weekend. We would miss them and I am 100% sure he wouldn't have that same community at the daycare as most people are commuting in from VA or MD.

[Anonymous]

Your child is ~4. As the parent of high school students, they literally have no memory of preschool.

I'm sure he loved his teachers and likes his friends, but won't be fazed by leaving them.

I think the only question is whether you have a plan for K.

[Anonymous]

I think you should move him. My DS had a uneven year as a 3 yo in preschool, he then went to a class that was much smaller and he really thrived. He matured a lot that year and though K will be much bigger, he is now much more ready to take it on.

At that age, the transition will not be that hard. You will see those people again for K, and the kids will hardly remember he was "gone" for a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is ~4. As the parent of high school students, they literally have no memory of preschool.

I'm sure he loved his teachers and likes his friends, but won't be fazed by leaving them.

I think the only question is whether you have a plan for K.

Yep this. Do what you think is best for him next year and then think about K.

- my kids were in 3 preschools in 3 years and are just fine.

[Anonymous]

Hmm sounds like a kid in my son's class. If so, please take your son out and get him into an environment where he thrives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm sounds like a kid in my son's class. If so, please take your son out and get him into an environment where he thrives.

Dont' be a jerk, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm sounds like a kid in my son's class. If so, please take your son out and get him into an environment where he thrives.

I can't tell if you are suggesting that my son in your son's class (he is definitely not- I changed a lot details) but thank you for your input!

[Anonymous]

We did this, and it was a great choice! We had to pull our kid from a highly regarded DCPS in the middle of PK3 and we sent him to a federal daycare for PK4. (In fact I wonder if it was the same one, because ours also only had 8 kids.)

It was seriously the best choice ever. The DCPS was just a bad mix of overly structured and overly unstructured that did not work for him. Plus the class size was 20+. Another factor that I only really realized in retrospect was that the schools are not really set up administratively do deal with the issues related to ECE - so when we had problems, they treated our 3 year old like he was a 10 year old (interrogating him in the principals office!). They were unable to address the behavioral issues in a way that was appropriate for a 3 year old.

Another factor is that daycares are set up to cater to working families, and to keep kids well-rested and happy. Public schools (because they are public and you are not paying directly) are not set up that way. For better or for worse, in a public school you're part of a collective and have to surrender some things to the public good. Daycares on the other hand can give more personal attention, and care more about overall well-being and happiness.

The test- and assessment-heavy environment of DC schools absolutely trickles down to PK classrooms. One issue we had in our PK3 class is that the teachers were supposed to be constantly assessing the kids on some dumb standard that involved like 26 different variables for each kid. They were constantly inputting data, and this really impacted their time and energy to manage the classroom. They were also held professionally responsible for kids' progress on standardized instruments. In comparison, daycare workers' jobs are just to keep the kids and parents happy!

There is also a regulatory aspect. Daycares in DC have to follow the OSSE rules for naps and outdoor times. DCPS do not. My kid got WAY more outdoor time at the daycare than at his DCPS. \

Finally, DCPS/Charter + Aftercare can really be exhausting for a 3 - 4 year old. The daycare day is set up to sort of wind kids down as the day gets longer. But in the DCPS, the kid has to transition to a whole new, often chaotic setting right when they'd be winding down at daycare.

[Anonymous]

Will you be able to get back into the school for K? If yes, then move him. If no, don't.

Next year will probably be easier regardless as he'll be a little older and more mature.

[Anonymous]

Does he have an IEP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did this, and it was a great choice! We had to pull our kid from a highly regarded DCPS in the middle of PK3 and we sent him to a federal daycare for PK4. (In fact I wonder if it was the same one, because ours also only had 8 kids.)

It was seriously the best choice ever. The DCPS was just a bad mix of overly structured and overly unstructured that did not work for him. Plus the class size was 20+. Another factor that I only really realized in retrospect was that the schools are not really set up administratively do deal with the issues related to ECE - so when we had problems, they treated our 3 year old like he was a 10 year old (interrogating him in the principals office!). They were unable to address the behavioral issues in a way that was appropriate for a 3 year old.

Another factor is that daycares are set up to cater to working families, and to keep kids well-rested and happy. Public schools (because they are public and you are not paying directly) are not set up that way. For better or for worse, in a public school you're part of a collective and have to surrender some things to the public good. Daycares on the other hand can give more personal attention, and care more about overall well-being and happiness.

The test- and assessment-heavy environment of DC schools absolutely trickles down to PK classrooms. One issue we had in our PK3 class is that the teachers were supposed to be constantly assessing the kids on some dumb standard that involved like 26 different variables for each kid. They were constantly inputting data, and this really impacted their time and energy to manage the classroom. They were also held professionally responsible for kids' progress on standardized instruments. In comparison, daycare workers' jobs are just to keep the kids and parents happy!

There is also a regulatory aspect. Daycares in DC have to follow the OSSE rules for naps and outdoor times. DCPS do not. My kid got WAY more outdoor time at the daycare than at his DCPS. \

Finally, DCPS/Charter + Aftercare can really be exhausting for a 3 - 4 year old. The daycare day is set up to sort of wind kids down as the day gets longer. But in the DCPS, the kid has to transition to a whole new, often chaotic setting right when they'd be winding down at daycare.

OP here. Absolutely agree on aftercare- that is where it feels like he really falls apart some days. And unclear what they do there every day...

[Anonymous]

Will your child get sped services in day care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this, and it was a great choice! We had to pull our kid from a highly regarded DCPS in the middle of PK3 and we sent him to a federal daycare for PK4. (In fact I wonder if it was the same one, because ours also only had 8 kids.)

It was seriously the best choice ever. The DCPS was just a bad mix of overly structured and overly unstructured that did not work for him. Plus the class size was 20+. Another factor that I only really realized in retrospect was that the schools are not really set up administratively do deal with the issues related to ECE - so when we had problems, they treated our 3 year old like he was a 10 year old (interrogating him in the principals office!). They were unable to address the behavioral issues in a way that was appropriate for a 3 year old.

Another factor is that daycares are set up to cater to working families, and to keep kids well-rested and happy. Public schools (because they are public and you are not paying directly) are not set up that way. For better or for worse, in a public school you're part of a collective and have to surrender some things to the public good. Daycares on the other hand can give more personal attention, and care more about overall well-being and happiness.

The test- and assessment-heavy environment of DC schools absolutely trickles down to PK classrooms. One issue we had in our PK3 class is that the teachers were supposed to be constantly assessing the kids on some dumb standard that involved like 26 different variables for each kid. They were constantly inputting data, and this really impacted their time and energy to manage the classroom. They were also held professionally responsible for kids' progress on standardized instruments. In comparison, daycare workers' jobs are just to keep the kids and parents happy!

There is also a regulatory aspect. Daycares in DC have to follow the OSSE rules for naps and outdoor times. DCPS do not. My kid got WAY more outdoor time at the daycare than at his DCPS. \

Finally, DCPS/Charter + Aftercare can really be exhausting for a 3 - 4 year old. The daycare day is set up to sort of wind kids down as the day gets longer. But in the DCPS, the kid has to transition to a whole new, often chaotic setting right when they'd be winding down at daycare.

OP here. Absolutely agree on aftercare- that is where it feels like he really falls apart some days. And unclear what they do there every day...

sounds like my kid our happy ending is that we sent him back to the same school for K and he did GREAT. This was with an IEP. I just feel like the school concentrates its resources on the K-5, and not so much ECE. ECE is fine if you have a kid who can roll with it; but they aren't really equipped to deal with issues. however, we also had the luxury of a good in-boundaries DCPS option. if you are worried about the lottery for K, then there may be reason to stick things out for PK4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this, and it was a great choice! We had to pull our kid from a highly regarded DCPS in the middle of PK3 and we sent him to a federal daycare for PK4. (In fact I wonder if it was the same one, because ours also only had 8 kids.)

It was seriously the best choice ever. The DCPS was just a bad mix of overly structured and overly unstructured that did not work for him. Plus the class size was 20+. Another factor that I only really realized in retrospect was that the schools are not really set up administratively do deal with the issues related to ECE - so when we had problems, they treated our 3 year old like he was a 10 year old (interrogating him in the principals office!). They were unable to address the behavioral issues in a way that was appropriate for a 3 year old.

Another factor is that daycares are set up to cater to working families, and to keep kids well-rested and happy. Public schools (because they are public and you are not paying directly) are not set up that way. For better or for worse, in a public school you're part of a collective and have to surrender some things to the public good. Daycares on the other hand can give more personal attention, and care more about overall well-being and happiness.

The test- and assessment-heavy environment of DC schools absolutely trickles down to PK classrooms. One issue we had in our PK3 class is that the teachers were supposed to be constantly assessing the kids on some dumb standard that involved like 26 different variables for each kid. They were constantly inputting data, and this really impacted their time and energy to manage the classroom. They were also held professionally responsible for kids' progress on standardized instruments. In comparison, daycare workers' jobs are just to keep the kids and parents happy!

There is also a regulatory aspect. Daycares in DC have to follow the OSSE rules for naps and outdoor times. DCPS do not. My kid got WAY more outdoor time at the daycare than at his DCPS. \

Finally, DCPS/Charter + Aftercare can really be exhausting for a 3 - 4 year old. The daycare day is set up to sort of wind kids down as the day gets longer. But in the DCPS, the kid has to transition to a whole new, often chaotic setting right when they'd be winding down at daycare.

OP here. Absolutely agree on aftercare- that is where it feels like he really falls apart some days. And unclear what they do there every day...

sounds like my kid our happy ending is that we sent him back to the same school for K and he did GREAT. This was with an IEP. I just feel like the school concentrates its resources on the K-5, and not so much ECE. ECE is fine if you have a kid who can roll with it; but they aren't really equipped to deal with issues. however, we also had the luxury of a good in-boundaries DCPS option. if you are worried about the lottery for K, then there may be reason to stick things out for PK4.

I think this is really school-specific. Our PK3 experience at a Wilson feeder was awesome. And nowhere near 20 kids, only 14 (I thought the cap is 16 for PK3?). PK3/4 kids were kept separate from big kids in aftercare, and it was fairly calm. Great teacher and aide—overall, cliche to say but PK3 was pretty “magical.” The only area where I agree daycare was clearly superior is the amount of outdoor time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this, and it was a great choice! We had to pull our kid from a highly regarded DCPS in the middle of PK3 and we sent him to a federal daycare for PK4. (In fact I wonder if it was the same one, because ours also only had 8 kids.)

It was seriously the best choice ever. The DCPS was just a bad mix of overly structured and overly unstructured that did not work for him. Plus the class size was 20+. Another factor that I only really realized in retrospect was that the schools are not really set up administratively do deal with the issues related to ECE - so when we had problems, they treated our 3 year old like he was a 10 year old (interrogating him in the principals office!). They were unable to address the behavioral issues in a way that was appropriate for a 3 year old.

Another factor is that daycares are set up to cater to working families, and to keep kids well-rested and happy. Public schools (because they are public and you are not paying directly) are not set up that way. For better or for worse, in a public school you're part of a collective and have to surrender some things to the public good. Daycares on the other hand can give more personal attention, and care more about overall well-being and happiness.

The test- and assessment-heavy environment of DC schools absolutely trickles down to PK classrooms. One issue we had in our PK3 class is that the teachers were supposed to be constantly assessing the kids on some dumb standard that involved like 26 different variables for each kid. They were constantly inputting data, and this really impacted their time and energy to manage the classroom. They were also held professionally responsible for kids' progress on standardized instruments. In comparison, daycare workers' jobs are just to keep the kids and parents happy!

There is also a regulatory aspect. Daycares in DC have to follow the OSSE rules for naps and outdoor times. DCPS do not. My kid got WAY more outdoor time at the daycare than at his DCPS. \

Finally, DCPS/Charter + Aftercare can really be exhausting for a 3 - 4 year old. The daycare day is set up to sort of wind kids down as the day gets longer. But in the DCPS, the kid has to transition to a whole new, often chaotic setting right when they'd be winding down at daycare.

OP here. Absolutely agree on aftercare- that is where it feels like he really falls apart some days. And unclear what they do there every day...

This was a similar situation to my son around the same age. The PS3 teacher, though, actually worked with me and made the suggestion early in the year that I should hire a sitter in the afternoons (if viable) bc the transition from school to aftercare was too much. So that's what I did for PS3, and then in PK4 did it two days a week. Financially a stretch- but not as much as full time daycare. Now fast forward to 4th grade and he's thriving, but just needed to mature at his own pace and have the downtime he craved.

Good luck!