Moving back to daycare after public preK3?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand you want to keep details to yourself, so you don't need to share, but I think it's worth considering the possible long-term impact.

You say you are at a HRCS, but obviously that can mean a lot of things on this board. It's worth talking to the school though, to see if they will hold your spot for a year (ours will a spot for a year, in certain circumstances). If they will hold the spot, then that's a totally different calculus. If the HRCS you're describing has a MS or a feeder path or a MS/HS, you should at least think about those things (if you don't love your IB feeder path). It doesn't have to be the deciding point, but I think you would kick yourself in a few years for turning that down without weighing it in your decision.

I also second the PP who suggested hiring someone as an after-school nanny/sitter. We did that for PK3 and it made a huge difference. Even though my child was coming from daycare to PK3, it is a long day (as you point out). Having the flexibility for someone to assess the mood/temperament of the day and decide what was needed that day (sometimes quiet art time, sometimes more outdoor time, sometimes story time) was incredibly helpful. While it was a lot more than after care, it was certainly less than private pre-school.

OP here. Thanks so much for the thoughtful response. We honestly hadn't contemplated how terrible it might be to lose our spot so have been really been debating that since I posted yesterday. I'm curious- what are the circumstances in which you have heard a HRCS holding a spot open? Because we will try whatever might work. But we have all but decided to move him and the experiences of folks weighing in has been very helpful.

OP, if you don't have a good IB option, it would behoove you to think long-term. You may want to tough it out with a sitter, as others have suggested, unless you can afford to move or are willing to consider your IB if you can't get back into the HRCS after a year away.

[Anonymous]

Does your son have an IEP? Is he receiving services? He’ll be too old to get them outside of DCPS at PK4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your son have an IEP? Is he receiving services? He’ll be too old to get them outside of DCPS at PK4.

Yes, he does and we are okay with this because honestly, the school services are pretty bad (and to answer PP questions about IDEA compliance- we have zero faith in their process so don't think a convo about more services will be fruitful). We got him some outside private services to make up for lack at school-another reason why this is a big financial stretch.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here, though not in DC at all. I would suggest transitioning him back to his former daycare. DCPS and often charters can be dysfunctional, sometimes it’s the school structures, sometimes its the classroom environment and sometimes it’s just your child needs more supports. You can always move him back to regular public school when the time comes for kindergarten. Although it’s a financial stretch, could you try parochial daycare that also has a kindergarten program that might give you some financial aid package?

A lot of parents have given feedback on the constant testing situation in DCPS pre-Kane lack of outdoor time. That’s disturbing considering children need adequate playtime time, both unstructured and structured.

[Anonymous]

How is your local school? I know some charters are very spotty on IEPs. My son has similar issues and the IEP team is wonderful and responsive at our inbound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand you want to keep details to yourself, so you don't need to share, but I think it's worth considering the possible long-term impact.

You say you are at a HRCS, but obviously that can mean a lot of things on this board. It's worth talking to the school though, to see if they will hold your spot for a year (ours will a spot for a year, in certain circumstances). If they will hold the spot, then that's a totally different calculus. If the HRCS you're describing has a MS or a feeder path or a MS/HS, you should at least think about those things (if you don't love your IB feeder path). It doesn't have to be the deciding point, but I think you would kick yourself in a few years for turning that down without weighing it in your decision.

I also second the PP who suggested hiring someone as an after-school nanny/sitter. We did that for PK3 and it made a huge difference. Even though my child was coming from daycare to PK3, it is a long day (as you point out). Having the flexibility for someone to assess the mood/temperament of the day and decide what was needed that day (sometimes quiet art time, sometimes more outdoor time, sometimes story time) was incredibly helpful. While it was a lot more than after care, it was certainly less than private pre-school.

OP here. Thanks so much for the thoughtful response. We honestly hadn't contemplated how terrible it might be to lose our spot so have been really been debating that since I posted yesterday. I'm curious- what are the circumstances in which you have heard a HRCS holding a spot open? Because we will try whatever might work. But we have all but decided to move him and the experiences of folks weighing in has been very helpful.

I was PP suggesting you ask about holding the spot. I honestly don't know the details (I never considered it) but I know a family that have left for a year and come back. I know they left DC, I think they left the US, and it's possible that they left the US on a government assignment. Honestly, it wasn't one of my kids' close friends and I don't know the specifics. It does seem like there at least some circumstances, however, where this is permissible (but again, you'll need to talk to your school administrators).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your son have an IEP? Is he receiving services? He’ll be too old to get them outside of DCPS at PK4.

Yes, he does and we are okay with this because honestly, the school services are pretty bad (and to answer PP questions about IDEA compliance- we have zero faith in their process so don't think a convo about more services will be fruitful). We got him some outside private services to make up for lack at school-another reason why this is a big financial stretch.

Have you looked into any of the CBO enhanced preschool options? Not sure any have openings but they have pretty stringent requirements for teacher/child ratios, curriculum and staff training. Free to low cost. https://www.myschooldc.org/find-schools/school-options-outside-my-school-dc

[Anonymous]

It's very hard to advise you not knowing your location. Those posters saying to go back to daycare probably live in a high quality IB area and aren't realizing that many of us do not. I would join those who suggest you think more carefully about your plan for K and above, which is a lot of years. Do you like the school overall, other than this class? Would you be fine with leaving and lotterying again for something else, knowing you may end up at your IB school? Have you spoken to the principal, not just the teachers, about your predicament? There is also a poster comparing their experience at their DCPS to yours; each school is SO different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your son have an IEP? Is he receiving services? He’ll be too old to get them outside of DCPS at PK4.

Yes, he does and we are okay with this because honestly, the school services are pretty bad (and to answer PP questions about IDEA compliance- we have zero faith in their process so don't think a convo about more services will be fruitful). We got him some outside private services to make up for lack at school-another reason why this is a big financial stretch.

If you have such low confidence of the services you are getting for PreK3 at a HRCS - you may want to find another school that is a better fit for your family. If the school does a poor job with communication and commitment for children with 504s or IEPs in early childhood - what do you think your experience will be in elementary when you have an identified learning disability?

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine any HRCS holding your spot at all. They need to put kids in seats to get their funding.

The advantage to a HRCS is that they are generally their own LEA, and much more willing to do an IEP than DCPS is. But the services implementation - you get what you pay for, and your taxes don't go that far. I'd recommend that you take this to the special needs board specifically to address that. You'll likely need to bring an advocate in if you don't think that they're being implemented as needed.

We went through a somewhat similar situation. Started at a Montessori charter at 3 - it was a disaster. On the plus side, it did reveal that assessments were needed (which included us getting our own private one) and ultimately resulted in an IEP with services. So, silver lining is that we probably wouldn't have realized that our kid needed the help if he had stayed in daycare for another year+. You can maybe make your charter work if 1) you get the services that are needed, 2) maybe you supplement those with your own and 3) absolutely don't make your kid do aftercare too. Aftercare is run by paraprofessionals who are glorified babysitters. They're not paid well enough to be equipped to handle a kid with special needs - and your kid will likely melt.

Check sites like care.com, urbansitter, etc. You'd be amazed at the number of (in some cases, highly qualified) people out there that you can hire to do aftercare at home for the 3-6pm time from school until you get home from work.

Good luck! This is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's very hard to advise you not knowing your location. Those posters saying to go back to daycare probably live in a high quality IB area and aren't realizing that many of us do not. I would join those who suggest you think more carefully about your plan for K and above, which is a lot of years. Do you like the school overall, other than this class? Would you be fine with leaving and lotterying again for something else, knowing you may end up at your IB school? Have you spoken to the principal, not just the teachers, about your predicament? There is also a poster comparing their experience at their DCPS to yours; each school is SO different.

OP. Yes, I recognize we are not in the same boat as those with a great IB K option. We do not feel great about our IB option. At the same time, this discussion has revealed how much this school is probably not the best fit for our kid (we really really love the community and maybe that has blinded me too much to the bad fit) so maybe it is just best for us to move on and try to find a new school for K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand you want to keep details to yourself, so you don't need to share, but I think it's worth considering the possible long-term impact.

You say you are at a HRCS, but obviously that can mean a lot of things on this board. It's worth talking to the school though, to see if they will hold your spot for a year (ours will a spot for a year, in certain circumstances). If they will hold the spot, then that's a totally different calculus. If the HRCS you're describing has a MS or a feeder path or a MS/HS, you should at least think about those things (if you don't love your IB feeder path). It doesn't have to be the deciding point, but I think you would kick yourself in a few years for turning that down without weighing it in your decision.

I also second the PP who suggested hiring someone as an after-school nanny/sitter. We did that for PK3 and it made a huge difference. Even though my child was coming from daycare to PK3, it is a long day (as you point out). Having the flexibility for someone to assess the mood/temperament of the day and decide what was needed that day (sometimes quiet art time, sometimes more outdoor time, sometimes story time) was incredibly helpful. While it was a lot more than after care, it was certainly less than private pre-school.

OP here. Thanks so much for the thoughtful response. We honestly hadn't contemplated how terrible it might be to lose our spot so have been really been debating that since I posted yesterday. I'm curious- what are the circumstances in which you have heard a HRCS holding a spot open? Because we will try whatever might work. But we have all but decided to move him and the experiences of folks weighing in has been very helpful.

I was PP suggesting you ask about holding the spot. I honestly don't know the details (I never considered it) but I know a family that have left for a year and come back. I know they left DC, I think they left the US, and it's possible that they left the US on a government assignment. Honestly, it wasn't one of my kids' close friends and I don't know the specifics. It does seem like there at least some circumstances, however, where this is permissible (but again, you'll need to talk to your school administrators).

Yes, I could see a few schools agreeing ahead of time to hold a spot for those on a short-term overseas assignment, but not for someone who just wants to try a different school for a year and then come back. Doesn't work that way, or everyone would be doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine any HRCS holding your spot at all. They need to put kids in seats to get their funding.

The advantage to a HRCS is that they are generally their own LEA, and much more willing to do an IEP than DCPS is. But the services implementation - you get what you pay for, and your taxes don't go that far. I'd recommend that you take this to the special needs board specifically to address that. You'll likely need to bring an advocate in if you don't think that they're being implemented as needed.

We went through a somewhat similar situation. Started at a Montessori charter at 3 - it was a disaster. On the plus side, it did reveal that assessments were needed (which included us getting our own private one) and ultimately resulted in an IEP with services. So, silver lining is that we probably wouldn't have realized that our kid needed the help if he had stayed in daycare for another year+. You can maybe make your charter work if 1) you get the services that are needed, 2) maybe you supplement those with your own and 3) absolutely don't make your kid do aftercare too. Aftercare is run by paraprofessionals who are glorified babysitters. They're not paid well enough to be equipped to handle a kid with special needs - and your kid will likely melt.

Check sites like care.com, urbansitter, etc. You'd be amazed at the number of (in some cases, highly qualified) people out there that you can hire to do aftercare at home for the 3-6pm time from school until you get home from work.

Good luck! This is not easy.

I don't think charters are more willing to do an IEP than DCPS is. Some supposedly "highly regarded" charters don't do them well, as OP is learning, and it is no coincidence that being unappealing to students with IEPs and having good test scores go together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's very hard to advise you not knowing your location. Those posters saying to go back to daycare probably live in a high quality IB area and aren't realizing that many of us do not. I would join those who suggest you think more carefully about your plan for K and above, which is a lot of years. Do you like the school overall, other than this class? Would you be fine with leaving and lotterying again for something else, knowing you may end up at your IB school? Have you spoken to the principal, not just the teachers, about your predicament? There is also a poster comparing their experience at their DCPS to yours; each school is SO different.

OP. Yes, I recognize we are not in the same boat as those with a great IB K option. We do not feel great about our IB option. At the same time, this discussion has revealed how much this school is probably not the best fit for our kid (we really really love the community and maybe that has blinded me too much to the bad fit) so maybe it is just best for us to move on and try to find a new school for K.

If you're pretty sure, then yes do it. You may well get something else for K that works better. K seems to be a decent year for lottery.

I would say one more thing, which is that kids with IEPs should have push-in services if needed. Did you never get that opportunity? No, I don't know much about it but my daughter's classmate had an aide because of this who spent a lot of the day with her, and her needs were not very severe. For the future you may want to learn more about this option. It's SO hard with a PK3 kid because you're also learning the ropes of what school is and is not and how to advocate for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were thrilled to get a PreK3 spot for our son in a HRCS last year. He moved from a federal daycare that was good, not great, but was loving and familiar. We were, of course, excited not to pay for private daycare and didn't hesitate to move him.

Our son did fine at his school this year but there were lots of challenges. Our son has some sensory and speech issues and the school didn't handle it well- took months to be evaluated and the services are subpar. Plus, his class had 20-something kids which I know is the norm but the one assistant teacher spent most of her time corralling some of the more energetic kids (like mine) instead of doing the more focused one-on-one work he needs. The end result is that we aren't sure our son has gained much from going there and he definitely picked up some problematic behaviors (if anyone is off-task, he will happily join them, bad words, hitting incidents). Please know I am a former teacher and work in education- this is not an issue of me saying my kid is super special and deserved more attention than is possible in most public schools. We knew what we were getting into and just don't think it worked out well for our kid.

Our son went back to his daycare any time his school was closed and we noticed he did very well on his days there. During his last visit, he was more focused and excited about learning than I have ever seen (they send lots of pictures and videos) and had no behavioral problems. His class had only 8 kids. It made us seriously consider pulling him out of his school and going back to the daycare. It would be a huge financial stretch for us and we would seemingly just be kicking the can down the road as he would have to go back to public school for K. But we think maybe he just wasn't ready for a big class/school/lot of different kid personalities/need for more self-regulation and might be more ready at K.

Has anyone experienced something similar? What did you decide to do? My son loves his current teacher and his friends. The school community is lovely; we attend playdates and parties almost every weekend. We would miss them and I am 100% sure he wouldn't have that same community at the daycare as most people are commuting in from VA or MD.

Given all you've said, you may want to continue on this path and choose private school. It sounds like your son is thriving in a smaller environment where he is "known"