Red flag or normal behavior?
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Anonymous
| I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We’ve known each other since we were kids but we were more like friendly acquaintances throughout school. When I came back home from college, we ran into each other and he asked me out. It’s honestly the best relationship I’ve ever been in. Even though I know we are in a committed and respectful relationship it’s been bothering me that he looks at other women when we’re out. I get it, most guys look at other attractive women and studies say that they can’t “help it” but it’s starting to actually bug me. I’ve always been a confident person but when he does this it makes me feel insecure. I’m not sure if he thinks he’s sly and that I don’t notice (or maybe doesn’t care if I know) but I do. Last weekend we went on our first real vacation together and while walking through an aquarium he made a comment about a women’s boobs that walked past us but I hadn’t even noticed her. When I called him out on the comment he said that although he’s committed to me, “if it’s right in front of me I’m going to look.” Now, I see him doing this at most places we go. Another example is he kept looking behind him at this woman at Starbucks, then after he knows I’ve noticed he’ll try to get close to me and put his arm around me, which makes me feel weird. I don’t want to bring it up to him because I don’t want to come across as the extremely insecure girlfriend. I feel like I’m crazy for letting this bother me but it is. Is this a red flag or is it normal and I should let it go? |
Anonymous
| Nope, not okay. I think it's gross and extremely disrespectful to do it in your presence. |
Anonymous
| Is he possibly a sex addict? |
Anonymous
| This would really bug me. It seems like it will get worse as years go on. This early in the relationship he should still be really into YOUR body. |
Anonymous
| Red Flag...move on. You have to be very young but you’ll learn. Do not date guys who are not into you...If he was he wouldn’t risk his leering looks |
Anonymous
|
Sounds like he's immature. Respectful to you is not focusing on other women and mentions the size of their body parts.
If he's not focusing on you get rid of him. |
Anonymous
| Could be a red flag. My ex used to do this. He ended up cheating on me. Not trying to scare you. But he got tired of “look but don’t touch.” Just mention to him it bothers you and see what he says. Could be that he’ll stop doing it if he really respects you. I do gotta say though I stare at men too sometimes and women. Sometimes I’m just amazed by their beauty. |
Anonymous
| If it’s not something you tolerate and it’s not something he’s willing to change, then that’s all you really need to know. |
Anonymous
This |
Anonymous
|
My husband has NEVER made a comment about another woman's body in front of me. Not when we were neighbors, not when we were dating, and not since we've been married.
He does not look at other women in front of me. Your boyfriend sounds like a pig, sorry. |
Anonymous
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Take notice when DCUM is in agreement.
Red flag. Move on. NOW. |
Anonymous
| If you told him it bothered you and he didn’t stop then dump him. If you don’t, your self esteem will take a serious hit. |
Anonymous
| Not ok, its disrespectful |
Anonymous
Same and in all my dating history I don’t remember it happening even once. |
Anonymous
| Yes, this is a red flag. It’s disrespectful to you, and very immature. My college boyfriend did this and it affected me to the extent that any woman I saw or we encountered, I wonuld mentally calculate if he would find her attractive; It was very unhealthy, as was our relationship. We broke up 25 years ago and thankfully, I haven’t experienced it since. |