It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of what this is of how the tone of what is aspirational is changing. For a little while cool was living alone in a big city, having an important job and being high powered and busy. “Girlboss” was used unironically and the idea of being an overtly feminine white collar job lady was celebrated.

Then people got burnt out by this and started celebrating and new (but retro) ideal woman. Sweet, calm, focused on her health and baking and living a “soft” life. Marrying young and living a white picket fence lifestyle has become glorified more than in recent years.

In either case, I would hope real life women aren’t basing their lives around what is cool on tv or, now, what is trending on tiktok.

Smart Gen Z women don’t see it as one or the other. While Gen X and millennial women didn’t think twice about sacrificing and delaying marriage and kids for a career, Gen Z women want the high status career & a husband and single family house by their 20s.

At least that’s what you’re trying to sell on social media.

Exactly. And I suspect all those GenZers will end up here whining about their lives and relationships like everyone else in any other generation.

Is there any generation that's not whining here about their lives and relationships?

No? I just said every generation is doing this. Except the dead ones.

[Anonymous]

I’m almost 50 and I went to a LOT of friends’ weddings when I was in my mid-20s, right around the time my college boyfriend and I broke up. In fact I probably had more friends getting married in their early- mid-20s than in their 30s. That was 25 years ago.

Many of those couples are divorced now, but some aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a conservative culture where women marry young, including affluent ones.

All my peers wanted to get married young and many did. At the time it was upsetting to me I couldn’t find someone.

Instead I focused on my career and educated and traveled the world. I met my husband. I’ve lived in a few large cities. Now I’m so glad I didn’t marry young. I’ve lived a more exciting life and didn’t give up my 20s for kids in diapers. Looking back I can see the main reason my peers wanted to marry was $. They didn’t have a lot of career options so a man was a plan.

The big risk having kids going is that it disrupts a woman’s career and earning potential. Since I had kids in my 30s I had 6 months plus of accrued leave for each child and stayed in the workforce. My peers who had children at 26 dropped out of the workforce. I also made enough money when I had kids to hire a nanny and night nanny. This wouldn’t have happened at age 27.

I don’t know a single woman who has done well professionally and married very young. It’s not impossible but I know hundreds and don’t know a single one.

I’d actually rather choose to remain single forever and not have kids over having kids young and not having a career or financial freedom.

Great anecdote. Spouse and I married at 24, had kids in 20’s, are educated, have great careers we enjoy, and have lived in a few large cities (not sure why you think this would be interesting or an accomplishment) in three different countries.

We also prioritized raising our kids rather than outsourcing to a nanny AND a night nanny (!). Sounds to me like you had kids as a box-checking exercise to complement your amazing professional success.

You sound insecure about your choices.

Do I? How so?

Mainly the unnecessary dig about “amazing professional success.”

Also the references to raising our kids and outsourcing. Women who talk that way are usually very critical of working moms and there is something else going on. I was raised by a mother like this. Now I can see it was deep insecurity.

Oh, you’re the poster I replied to who heavily implied you prefer your job to your kids? I didn’t say that because you’re a working mom (I am, too). I said that because you clearly get more satisfaction out of your career than your family. (It’s obviously overcompensation due to your jealousy of your married young “friends” who you took numerous digs at.)

I’m sure your kids are very well cared for, but not by you. Probably for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a conservative culture where women marry young, including affluent ones.

All my peers wanted to get married young and many did. At the time it was upsetting to me I couldn’t find someone.

Instead I focused on my career and educated and traveled the world. I met my husband. I’ve lived in a few large cities. Now I’m so glad I didn’t marry young. I’ve lived a more exciting life and didn’t give up my 20s for kids in diapers. Looking back I can see the main reason my peers wanted to marry was $. They didn’t have a lot of career options so a man was a plan.

The big risk having kids going is that it disrupts a woman’s career and earning potential. Since I had kids in my 30s I had 6 months plus of accrued leave for each child and stayed in the workforce. My peers who had children at 26 dropped out of the workforce. I also made enough money when I had kids to hire a nanny and night nanny. This wouldn’t have happened at age 27.

I don’t know a single woman who has done well professionally and married very young. It’s not impossible but I know hundreds and don’t know a single one.

I’d actually rather choose to remain single forever and not have kids over having kids young and not having a career or financial freedom.

Great anecdote. Spouse and I married at 24, had kids in 20’s, are educated, have great careers we enjoy, and have lived in a few large cities (not sure why you think this would be interesting or an accomplishment) in three different countries.

We also prioritized raising our kids rather than outsourcing to a nanny AND a night nanny (!). Sounds to me like you had kids as a box-checking exercise to complement your amazing professional success.

You sound insecure about your choices.

Do I? How so?

Mainly the unnecessary dig about “amazing professional success.”

Also the references to raising our kids and outsourcing. Women who talk that way are usually very critical of working moms and there is something else going on. I was raised by a mother like this. Now I can see it was deep insecurity.

Oh, you’re the poster I replied to who heavily implied you prefer your job to your kids? I didn’t say that because you’re a working mom (I am, too). I said that because you clearly get more satisfaction out of your career than your family. (It’s obviously overcompensation due to your jealousy of your married young “friends” who you took numerous digs at.)

I’m sure your kids are very well cared for, but not by you. Probably for the best.

You’re rather unkind. Imagine saying stuff like this to a stranger on the internet. What would make a woman attack another woman like this? Suggesting she shouldn’t be caring for her own children because she is glad she didn’t get married young…very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, will Gen X and Gen Z soon become grandparents sooner than expected? I don't think I'll be ready to be a grandma when my oldest is 22-25!

I’d love to be a young grandma. My aunt had to wait till she was 70.

I want my kids to decide when they have kids even if they decide not to. Not my life!

Who are you kidding, you obviously don’t have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a conservative culture where women marry young, including affluent ones.

All my peers wanted to get married young and many did. At the time it was upsetting to me I couldn’t find someone.

Instead I focused on my career and educated and traveled the world. I met my husband. I’ve lived in a few large cities. Now I’m so glad I didn’t marry young. I’ve lived a more exciting life and didn’t give up my 20s for kids in diapers. Looking back I can see the main reason my peers wanted to marry was $. They didn’t have a lot of career options so a man was a plan.

The big risk having kids going is that it disrupts a woman’s career and earning potential. Since I had kids in my 30s I had 6 months plus of accrued leave for each child and stayed in the workforce. My peers who had children at 26 dropped out of the workforce. I also made enough money when I had kids to hire a nanny and night nanny. This wouldn’t have happened at age 27.

I don’t know a single woman who has done well professionally and married very young. It’s not impossible but I know hundreds and don’t know a single one.

I’d actually rather choose to remain single forever and not have kids over having kids young and not having a career or financial freedom.

Great anecdote. Spouse and I married at 24, had kids in 20’s, are educated, have great careers we enjoy, and have lived in a few large cities (not sure why you think this would be interesting or an accomplishment) in three different countries.

We also prioritized raising our kids rather than outsourcing to a nanny AND a night nanny (!). Sounds to me like you had kids as a box-checking exercise to complement your amazing professional success.

You sound insecure about your choices.

Do I? How so?

Mainly the unnecessary dig about “amazing professional success.”

Also the references to raising our kids and outsourcing. Women who talk that way are usually very critical of working moms and there is something else going on. I was raised by a mother like this. Now I can see it was deep insecurity.

Oh, you’re the poster I replied to who heavily implied you prefer your job to your kids? I didn’t say that because you’re a working mom (I am, too). I said that because you clearly get more satisfaction out of your career than your family. (It’s obviously overcompensation due to your jealousy of your married young “friends” who you took numerous digs at.)

I’m sure your kids are very well cared for, but not by you. Probably for the best.

You’re rather unkind. Imagine saying stuff like this to a stranger on the internet. What would make a woman attack another woman like this? Suggesting she shouldn’t be caring for her own children because she is glad she didn’t get married young…very odd.

Because this woman has her head up her ass and needs someone to point that out to her if she has any hope of maintaining these alleged friendships with women she clearly doesn’t respect. It’s ultimately for her own good.

As to your last statement, thanks for yet another example of the pitiful lack of reading comprehension regularly on display on these boards.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

Misery loves company. And many folks who respond to these threads are single and childless, often claiming to be happily married with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

Nothing purer than young love!

[Anonymous]

Their is a difference between approving of marrying young and telling women their eggs will dry up when they're 30 (which just isn't true).

My spouse also came from a rural culture that pushed marrying young and some of it was really messed up, as it accompanied a strong trend against pursuing education and leaving the community.

[Anonymous]

If the 4 generations of your family closest is solid, you will be happy.

Most people with problems have problems with the older /younger generation in their own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

I see it as oppression, that’s why. I’m from a conservative background where women were encouraged to marry young and have children. They never got the opportunity to live their own life, build a career, or even live on their own. Now that we are in our 40s it’s obvious what they gave up. They don’t have careers and their entire life has been about serving men. They don’t have equal partnerships and their only job has been to provide free domestic labor and birth children. Having kids is hard work and hardly easier than having a career and freedom. It’s the sexist notion that a woman can’t have her own life and requires a man. There are exceptions but marrying young typically doesn’t benefit women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

I see it as oppression, that’s why. I’m from a conservative background where women were encouraged to marry young and have children. They never got the opportunity to live their own life, build a career, or even live on their own. Now that we are in our 40s it’s obvious what they gave up. They don’t have careers and their entire life has been about serving men. They don’t have equal partnerships and their only job has been to provide free domestic labor and birth children. Having kids is hard work and hardly easier than having a career and freedom. It’s the sexist notion that a woman can’t have her own life and requires a man. There are exceptions but marrying young typically doesn’t benefit women.

You are so freaking sexist and disrespectful of the hard work these women are doing and their very real accomplishments and you can’t see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their is a difference between approving of marrying young and telling women their eggs will dry up when they're 30 (which just isn't true).

My spouse also came from a rural culture that pushed marrying young and some of it was really messed up, as it accompanied a strong trend against pursuing education and leaving the community.

No need to push or pull, let individuals decide according to their preferences and circumstances.

As far as eggs drying up, that's proven science not a myth. In medical schools they encourage female students to preserve their eggs if they don't have resources to manage marriage and kids until after residency and fellowship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

I see it as oppression, that’s why. I’m from a conservative background where women were encouraged to marry young and have children. They never got the opportunity to live their own life, build a career, or even live on their own. Now that we are in our 40s it’s obvious what they gave up. They don’t have careers and their entire life has been about serving men. They don’t have equal partnerships and their only job has been to provide free domestic labor and birth children. Having kids is hard work and hardly easier than having a career and freedom. It’s the sexist notion that a woman can’t have her own life and requires a man. There are exceptions but marrying young typically doesn’t benefit women.

Enforcement of early or late marriage is oppressive but so is denying marriage if a couple wants it.