It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

I see it as oppression, that’s why. I’m from a conservative background where women were encouraged to marry young and have children. They never got the opportunity to live their own life, build a career, or even live on their own. Now that we are in our 40s it’s obvious what they gave up. They don’t have careers and their entire life has been about serving men. They don’t have equal partnerships and their only job has been to provide free domestic labor and birth children. Having kids is hard work and hardly easier than having a career and freedom. It’s the sexist notion that a woman can’t have her own life and requires a man. There are exceptions but marrying young typically doesn’t benefit women.

Enforcement of early or late marriage is oppressive but so is denying marriage if a couple wants it.

Who's denying people marriage?

Like, the only marriages people are trying to legally stop are child marriages. And if you're advocating for child marriage, well, I have nothing.

[Anonymous]

Discouraging marriages and encouraging a decade of hookups is another form of indoctrination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

I see it as oppression, that’s why. I’m from a conservative background where women were encouraged to marry young and have children. They never got the opportunity to live their own life, build a career, or even live on their own. Now that we are in our 40s it’s obvious what they gave up. They don’t have careers and their entire life has been about serving men. They don’t have equal partnerships and their only job has been to provide free domestic labor and birth children. Having kids is hard work and hardly easier than having a career and freedom. It’s the sexist notion that a woman can’t have her own life and requires a man. There are exceptions but marrying young typically doesn’t benefit women.

Enforcement of early or late marriage is oppressive but so is denying marriage if a couple wants it.

Who's denying people marriage?

Like, the only marriages people are trying to legally stop are child marriages. And if you're advocating for child marriage, well, I have nothing.

Not a single poster advocated marriage without undergrad degree which usually comes after 22+. However, many posters consider marriage before 30 as child marriage.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I feel like every individual's path is different so they should decide accordingly but I'm also against ultra conservatives pushing marriage before 20 or ultra liberals after 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

I see it as oppression, that’s why. I’m from a conservative background where women were encouraged to marry young and have children. They never got the opportunity to live their own life, build a career, or even live on their own. Now that we are in our 40s it’s obvious what they gave up. They don’t have careers and their entire life has been about serving men. They don’t have equal partnerships and their only job has been to provide free domestic labor and birth children. Having kids is hard work and hardly easier than having a career and freedom. It’s the sexist notion that a woman can’t have her own life and requires a man. There are exceptions but marrying young typically doesn’t benefit women.

Enforcement of early or late marriage is oppressive but so is denying marriage if a couple wants it.

Who's denying people marriage?

Like, the only marriages people are trying to legally stop are child marriages. And if you're advocating for child marriage, well, I have nothing.

Not a single poster advocated marriage without undergrad degree which usually comes after 22+. However, many posters consider marriage before 30 as child marriage.

That's absurd.

Also no one can stop a couple in their 20s from getting married if they want it. No one's denying these people marriage.

[Anonymous]

No one is denying but as a society, we are actively trying to imply that somehow everyone marrying before 30 is a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is denying but as a society, we are actively trying to imply that somehow everyone marrying before 30 is a loser.

That's not remotely been my experience (and I went to a top ten college). Spouse and I married at 24. Lots of people I know married their college boyfriend/girlfriend before 30. People I know who married later weren't waiting around with a suitable partner for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is denying but as a society, we are actively trying to imply that somehow everyone marrying before 30 is a loser.

That's not remotely been my experience (and I went to a top ten college). Spouse and I married at 24. Lots of people I know married their college boyfriend/girlfriend before 30. People I know who married later weren't waiting around with a suitable partner for no reason.

Well, lots of posters saying they don't know anyone marrying in early 20's and ones who did are all divorced without exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discouraging marriages and encouraging a decade of hookups is another form of indoctrination.

Those are not the only two options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is denying but as a society, we are actively trying to imply that somehow everyone marrying before 30 is a loser.

That's not remotely been my experience (and I went to a top ten college). Spouse and I married at 24. Lots of people I know married their college boyfriend/girlfriend before 30. People I know who married later weren't waiting around with a suitable partner for no reason.

Well, lots of posters saying they don't know anyone marrying in early 20's and ones who did are all divorced without exception.

So a couple posts on DCUM defines reality for you?

Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, will Gen X and Gen Z soon become grandparents sooner than expected? I don't think I'll be ready to be a grandma when my oldest is 22-25!

I’d love to be a young grandma. My aunt had to wait till she was 70.

I want my kids to decide when they have kids even if they decide not to. Not my life!

Who are you kidding, you obviously don’t have children.

DP. I have two teens.

I want my kids to decide if and when they have kids. Not my life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a conservative culture where women marry young, including affluent ones.

All my peers wanted to get married young and many did. At the time it was upsetting to me I couldn’t find someone.

Instead I focused on my career and educated and traveled the world. I met my husband. I’ve lived in a few large cities. Now I’m so glad I didn’t marry young. I’ve lived a more exciting life and didn’t give up my 20s for kids in diapers. Looking back I can see the main reason my peers wanted to marry was $. They didn’t have a lot of career options so a man was a plan.

The big risk having kids going is that it disrupts a woman’s career and earning potential. Since I had kids in my 30s I had 6 months plus of accrued leave for each child and stayed in the workforce. My peers who had children at 26 dropped out of the workforce. I also made enough money when I had kids to hire a nanny and night nanny. This wouldn’t have happened at age 27.

I don’t know a single woman who has done well professionally and married very young. It’s not impossible but I know hundreds and don’t know a single one.

I’d actually rather choose to remain single forever and not have kids over having kids young and not having a career or financial freedom.

Great anecdote. Spouse and I married at 24, had kids in 20’s, are educated, have great careers we enjoy, and have lived in a few large cities (not sure why you think this would be interesting or an accomplishment) in three different countries.

We also prioritized raising our kids rather than outsourcing to a nanny AND a night nanny (!). Sounds to me like you had kids as a box-checking exercise to complement your amazing professional success.

You sound insecure about your choices.

Do I? How so?

Mainly the unnecessary dig about “amazing professional success.”

Also the references to raising our kids and outsourcing. Women who talk that way are usually very critical of working moms and there is something else going on. I was raised by a mother like this. Now I can see it was deep insecurity.

Oh, you’re the poster I replied to who heavily implied you prefer your job to your kids? I didn’t say that because you’re a working mom (I am, too). I said that because you clearly get more satisfaction out of your career than your family. (It’s obviously overcompensation due to your jealousy of your married young “friends” who you took numerous digs at.)

I’m sure your kids are very well cared for, but not by you. Probably for the best.

You are a kunt. STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

They don’t.

The marry early posters are nasty AF and are actually attacking people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

Misery loves company. And many folks who respond to these threads are single and childless, often claiming to be happily married with kids.

It’s a mommy website, dipshit. There are mostly parents here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people who married late, see people approving marrying early as a personal attack. Everyone has different choices and preferences. To each its own. Every decision has pros and cons. No absolute answer here. I married after 25 but looking back, I would've been happier marrying earlier though I would prefer kids after 28.

They don’t.

The marry early posters are nasty AF and are actually attacking people.

I'm a mom who married young and I also faced their wrath for pushing back on their narrative.

They're attached to their weird non existent reality and will go after anyone who doesn't conform to their agenda.